Complaining About Home Life

That made for a really strange and confusing read but I think I remember @RebeccaBlue saying she has him blocked anyway.

Edit: just for the avoidance of doubt, I meant Baldomero’s comment rather than yours…

3 Likes

yeah Reb said in the other day’s comments that they had him blocked

3 Likes

Yep, and I do not regret said blocking one bit.

1 Like

On the other hand there is a good conversation about cheeses and the differences in brown sauce in the UK and America.

3 Likes

Tried to let my dad know this morning that washing machine is being delivered between 09:45-13:45. He responds that it wil disturb his sleep but he’ll just stay in his room. I tell him that I’m going to be at work at those times, and he is not happy and asks if I spoke to my sister (meaning the middle one) which I did not because I didn’t realise I meant to.

So then he was shouting about how I couldn’t be bothered to tell him (I only got the text about the narrower time slot yesterday, though I could have texted him then) and he’s not getting any sleep today and I’m just trying to make myself one more cup of tea and then collect my clothes from the drier so I could get dressed and leave the bloody house.

But he kept shouting and asking me things like would I like it if he told me to expect a delivery between midnight and 4 in the morning (which I answer that I have had to get up at those times when the door has been knocked, but that doesn’t count to him because the one time was an emergency situation (or more accurately it could have been) and the second time he would have heard busta barking so the neighbour would never have knocked the door in the first place) and then he was shouting at me because I “choose” to have it delivered a day when I was at work and I was trying to explain to him that 1. This was the only day that the delivery was free, 2. The only days I had off work between when I ordered it and today were the weekend when he was not here and 3. H knows full well how heavy those things are and I needed his help to life the old one to the front of our house for the scrapman so how the fuck am I supposed to get the knew one inside both myself and not breakign it?

I barely made it through point 1 and was trying to get through point 2 but he was just shouting at me because I didn’t talk to my bloody sister and I just slammed the tea bags down and screamed “Fuck this! I don’t care!” at him and ran off to my stupid fucking bedroom to hide. He followed me up the stairs to yell at me some more about how I’m irresponsible (despite the fact the he couldn’t even be bothered to get his own washing machine and got me to do it for him even if that does mean it will be mine later) and reiterate how he’s not going to be able to sleep today and I’m just really angry and upset and I don’t want to go back downstairs but I’m supposed to be leaving for work in 5 minutes and I’m not even dressed and I don’t know what to do because if I go downstairs he’s just going to start shouting at me again and I haven’t fed the dogs yet and if I leave the house without sorting them out he’s going to yell at me for not looking after them but I cdna’t miss work and if I don’t show then they#re going to phone me and i don’t know how to explaoin to the m that I very much coulss habd been there but I hiding in my stupid fucking bedoom because I can’t talk to my own fucking dad fo reven one conversation.

3 Likes

Good news: I made a friend

Bad news:
Went on break to see 19 WhatsApp messages.

Dad made a new group (and added a load of people (meaning him, his girlfriend, me, both sisters, and our aunt who is the only difference from the old group chat)) so he could lecture me via those messages.

15 messages were my dad lecturing.

Then things get worse as message 17 was my aunt letting us know grandad is in the hospital and one of his lungs has been damaged. He’s alive and stable but I don’t know much more than that.

Edit: Fractures are the same as breaks right? Even if they aren’t fractured ribs and spine does not sound good. The doctors don’t know if the fractures are stable or not though. I’m really worried. Grandad has not been doing well these past couple years.

3 Likes

I hope your grandad recovers.

I’ve had a look, and most places (including the NHS) say fractures and breaks mean the same: that the bone is not intact.

There are several different types of breaks which means severity and healing may differ. If in doubt, ask those who are tresting him. As you are family, you might be able to ask direct. However, if there is a family member already talking to the hospital, it is best to ask them rather than tying up the staff on the ward.

But if you get no joy with talking to the family member, see if you can call ghe hospital

2 Likes

that’s terrible about your grandfather! Hope he gets better

2 Likes

Ive got a few Docs in the family. Yes technically break and fracture can mean the same. In use however “break” tends to be more severe than “fracture”. Now keep in mind thats not an official difference just a connotation thing.

Hope your grandfather gets better.

1 Like

No updates about my grandad (and I’m taking no news as good news) but my dad and his girlfriend are still using this damned chat.

I got another two photos yesterday morning and sorted out the mess in one of them but still haven’t gotten around to taking out my damned milk bottles. And yesterday afternoon my dad called me downstairs to ask why I hadn’t thrown away the screws and such that were mixed in with the rest of the washing machine’s packaging, though did accept my answer that I didn’t know whether or not I needed to keep them (which I might so it’s a good thing I didn’t throw them away).

And then he’s lecturing about the milk bottles and telling me how inconvinient they are and when am I going to take them outside and I was just stood there not moving them and not knowing how to say (or even that the answer was) that I had already gotten some shit done today and I was saving the last of my energy so I could look at houses with my sister later (and I’m kinda pissed that she cancelled on me again) so instead I was just stood there. So he went to type on his phone and I asked him if he’s actually nagging at me through other people and he said yes because I refuse to communicate with him.

So I was running through the options I had. One was to just take the damned milk bottles out, but if I did that then he’d resort to this everytime he wants me to do anything because he’d think that’s how he gets me to do stuff. Two was to just go back upstairs. Three was the smash the bloody milk bottles and make a huge mess all over the kitchen floor, but that would just escalate things. So I went upstairs which he was as usual not impressed with.

Anyway, next up is the texts because his girlfriend is really confusing me with what her motives are so I’m just including them verbatim (which does include leaving in the typos)

Dad: So I’ve now asked about the milk bottles, she says she will but won’t say when she is now stomping back updatirs. Advice please.

And for the record, I did not stomp up the stairs yesterday. That was on Monday.

Dad: I don’t want to argue but she will not take them outsidem

Girlfriend: Ummm how old did you say she is?

Girlfriend: It’s very interesting from my perspective as I’ve only ever come across this behaviour with boys. Both under 14 years old and stomping back to their rooms and slamming the doors didn’t really achieve anything. As later in life you find that it still gets you nowhere: at work you’d be questioned about your unacceptable behaviour and if it contonued you’d be disciplined and eventually fired. In a social aspect people would just start to avoid you - it would cause embarrassment. It’s not something that [her daughter] has ever done. But in the mood I’m in at present if I came home to that behaviour I’d cancel the milk order. You want milk? Then you go and buy it and ensure that you place it in the appropriate storage area otherwise I’d bin it when I get home - simple as.

That annoyed me, because she’s clearly trying to insult me and tell me that I’m acting like a child (and I think that by saying I’m like a male child she’s trying to say I’m extra immature or something but that could be me reading too much into things since I know a fair few adult women who act like girls are just more mature than boys). And if my dad did stop the milkman’s deliveries, then it’d be like when he was lecturing me over the bread crusts. I’d just not use milk, like I just stopped eating bread. Anyway, I didn’t respond at first and left it until like midnight since I wasn’t sleeping anyways and my brain was planning how to say things so I figured I might as well send that now before I forget about it after waking up.

Me: I don’t know how to explain why this is so difficult for me. I know it looks like an easy chore but it is not something I am up for sorting right now. I will get it done, but I do not know when I will have the energy to do so.

Me (:sparkles:paragraphs​:sparkles:): What I do know is that arguing with you is exhausting. You say so many things too me and I don’t know how to respond to any of it so I remove myself from the situation so I won’t do or say something I’d regret, but then you get mad at me for that to.

Me (:sparkles:paragraphs​:sparkles:): It seems that I am not capable of existing in a way that does not annoy you. Even when I do exhaust myself trying to make you happy, it still isn’t enough. So I can’t be bothered with trying anymore. I can barely be bothered with being enough for myself.

Me (:sparkles:paragraphs​:sparkles:): Sorry that I’m such an embarrassing disappointment.

Girlfriend: [Rebecca], you are not an embarrassing disappointment , you’re an intelligent and we’ll educated person. Certain actions that are undertaken can be perceived outside of home in different ways and that’s what I’m trying to explain. As you prefer written communication people are trying to communicate this way. And remember this is a difficult way of communicating where your Dad is concerned as he’d rather communicate verbally so he is trying to compromise. Are you eating and sleeping properly? If not that could be something you need to look at to help yourself. What else would help you? Have a think about it. At the same time everyone in the house should try to do their bit as part of the family and to keep a balance of harmony.

Which comes across completely different to me than her first two messages that seemed mocking. Anyway, I can’t tell how I’m supposed to respond to that. Make sure I’m eating and sleeping properly? Well if I try to save any energy so I can cook dinner I get lectured for not using that energy to tidy up. What the fuck does she think my dad is doing as his “bit as part of the family” and what is this “balance of harmony” that she thinks we’re meant to have. She clearly doesn’t understand that it’s only around my dad I struggle with things.

No news was not good news. The doctors don’t think he’s going to survive the hospital. Though it was the other aunt who shared that news and she has been known to exaggerate so I’m trying to hope he’ll be okay.

4 Likes

I’m sorry about your grandfather but I hope for your sake she is exaggerating. Is there someone else you can ask for more information?

1 Like

I could ask my nice aunt, though she did share the number for his hospital ward so I’m going to try and see if I can talk to him myself first.

2 Likes

Couldn’t get through on the phone. Getting trains to visit tomorrow. Told work I’m not coming in. Dad said he is driving down Friday evening but is worried that will be too late so aunt wasn’t exaggerating about how serious this is.

3 Likes

Just got off the phone with my good aunt. My Grandad died this morning. Still going to visit the hospital since my aunt will be there sorting things, though pretty sure I won’t be any help.

7 Likes

Me deepest condolences to you and your family (((Virtual Hugs)))

4 Likes

Sorry Reb, look after you and yours.

3 Likes

So sorry to hear that. You take care of yourself.

3 Likes

I’m very sorry for your loss

3 Likes

My deepest condolences for your loss.

1 Like