I have just told the customer that I cannot process their refund without a receipt.

Customer: “I know the manager personally. It’s [Manager]!”

Me: “Yes, that is the manager’s name, but you still can’t get a refund without a receipt.”

Customer: “You’re gonna make me call him? You really don’t want to do that! I know him personally!”

Me: “You’re welcome to try.”

With that, I get my phone out and stare at it.

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m [Manager], so I’m waiting for your call.”

Customer: “I got some stuff from my baby shower registry that I had with you guys. I got a bunch of stuff I don’t actually need, and a bunch of repeats, so I’m here to return it.”

Me: “Do you have receipts?”

Customer: “Duh! No, they were gifts!”

Me: “What’s the registry name?”

Customer: “So, here’s the thing. I never actually set up an official registry with you guys, I just made a list from your store.”

That would explain how she got some repeat gifts.

Me: “So, no registry and no receipt? If that’s the case, I can attempt an ID return for you.”

I run an ID (no-receipt) return for her. She’s already maxed out on what she can return without a receipt.

Me: “It looks like you’ve already returned two $200 car seats without a receipt at another location.”

Customer: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “It means you’re maxed out for now.”

Customer: “That’s so awkward! Can I return it under your ID?”

Me: “Uh… no. I’m not comfortable doing that.”

Customer: “It’s not like it’s costing you anything!”

Me: “That’s technically fraud, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever. Just use my boyfriend’s ID. I got a picture of it on my phone.”

Me: “That won’t work either; he needs to be here.”

Customer: “You’re making this so awkward!”

Me: “Any chance you could ask your friends for a gift receipt?”

Customer: *High-pitched squeal* “tHaT’s So AwKwArD!”

Me: “Then I can’t help you unless you want to return for store credit.”

Customer: “Ugh! That’s so awkward. Why are you making this so awkward?”

Me: “I assure you it isn’t me doing it.”

She storms off in a huff. She is back a few hours later with her mother and her ID.

Customer: “Here, can I return this now?”

Customer’s Mother: “Wait. Didn’t I buy this gift for you and the baby?”

Customer: “…”

Customer’s Mother: “…”

Me: “…awkward.”

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pharmacy]. This is Technician [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Nurse: “I got a call yesterday, and I need to clear things up.”

She pauses.

Me: “Sure thing. What’s the patient’s name and date of birth?”

Nurse: “Are you going to let me finish?”

Me: *Shocked* “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, I thought you were done.”

Nurse: “Well, never mind. I’ll call back when you decide not to treat people this way. In the meantime, I’m going to report this conversation to the patient and tell him you delayed his medication by another day with your attitude.”

She hangs up.

A little while later:

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pharmacy]. This is Technician [My Name]; how may I help you?”

It’s a patient, who gives me their first and last name and date of birth.

Me: “All right, it looks like I have a call open to your doctor about your medicine, but I haven’t heard back.”

Patient: “The nurse called me and told me you were rude to her on the phone. She says she refuses to be treated that way.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about the confusion! I’ll call the physician’s office again to see if I can get some resolution.”

Patient: “I was very surprised when she called me and told me this. I’ve never had a bad experience at your pharmacy.”

Me: “There was some miscommunication between us, but she could have asked for a pharmacist and I would have handed the phone over.”

Patient: “She recommended that I switch to another pharmacy. I said I’ve been using this pharmacy for years, and the staff is always going through hoops for me. I was nice, though. Instead of telling her to shove it up her a**, I thanked her for the information.”

Me: *Hardly containing my laughter* “That was kind of you. I’ll put another call in when we’re finished. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Patient: “I’m good. Take care. You have my permission to call her a twit.”

Me: *Snorting* “I promise to remain professional out loud. Thanks for calling.”

I work in a pub connected to a small, cosy hotel/inn. My coworkers are round the back cleaning tables outside, and I’m wiping down the counter and cleaning a couple of beer glasses.

It’s empty as we close earlier than normal pubs because ours doubles as a hotel. The “Closed” sign is on the door.

Suddenly, a lady waltzes in with her entire family with a huge grin on her face.

Customer: “A table! Get me a table so that my family can eat!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that as we are closing.”

I gesture around the empty and dark space to point out the obvious.

Customer: “What?! That’s stupid! It’s not even 10:00 pm yet!”

Me: “The pub doubles as a hotel, so we can’t stay open too late.”

Customer: *Starting a bit of an angry rampage* “I’m not coming here again! It’s that you close so early!”

She has two daughters with her who look around my age (sixteen), and the looks of embarrassment and sympathy they give each other and then me are the most memorable parts of the encounter. One of them mouths, “Sorry.” At first, I think she’s mouthing it for what her mum has said, but no, it’s for what is coming next.

Customer: “So, what are you going to do for me?”

Me: “Do… for you?”

Customer: “Yes, do for me! I’m a customer in your establishment, and I need service. You’re refusing me service, and that is unacceptable, so I require some form of compensation. What are you going to do for me?”

Me: “The next town over has a twenty-four-hour service station on the way. I can give you directions?”

Customer: “Are you being pissy with me?”

Me: “I’m doing something for you. I’m giving you directions to where you can get some food.”

Customer: “You just want to get rid of us!”

Me: “Well… yeah.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

Me: “The ‘Closed’ sign on the door didn’t make it obvious?”

Customer: “I’m going to complain about this place on Google!”

Me: “That we don’t cater to late-night loud customers so as not to annoy our paying guests? Sounds like free advertising to me.”

She harrumphed and stormed out with her still-mortified-looking daughters. I hope she wrote that review.

Typically, I cook all the meals for myself and my wife. The exception is on Fridays when my wife has the day off, but I work at a different site and so get home relatively late. The normal routine is that on Fridays, my wife will go to the store to get food for the week and then cook dinner Friday night. I handle meals from Saturday through Thursday. 

My wife is about five months pregnant with our first child and is experiencing a bit of “pregnancy brain”. 

I am on my way home from work and call my wife once I hit the highway like I typically do. 

Me: “Hey, honey, how are you feeling?”

Wife: “A little tired, but mostly all good.”

Me: “Sounds good. Is there dinner at home, or were you too tired? I can stop somewhere on my way home if you like?”

Wife: “No need; there is dinner here. All good.” 

I finish my drive home and come into the house to find my wife on the couch snacking on some cookies and watching TV. 

Me: “Hey, love, did you already eat?” 

Wife: *Happily* “Yep, I already ate. Thanks for checking on me.” 

I figure maybe she just got hungry early and there are leftovers somewhere. I clean up, change out of work clothes, and then go looking through the fridge. Not only are there no leftovers, but there is nothing from our weekly grocery list, just some snacks and junk food.

I start trying to cobble together some version of a nutritious dinner out of snacks and non-perishables from the pantry when, suddenly, I hear from the other room:

Wife: “OH, S***! YOU NEED TO EAT, TOO! I FORGOT!”

Once we stopped laughing, I had my junk food dinner, and we decided it was probably time to go through the chore list and make some pregnancy adjustments.