I've been tested, and I'm Pumpkin Positve

Yes, it’s true, I’m Pumpkin Positive (self-diagnosed).

For those who don’t know, it’s an unofficial diagnosis that medical staff write in your notes. Dr Phil Hammond, the GP and stand up comedian, describes it as:

“When you shine a light in the ear and the whole face lights up. Which is very funny until you have to explain it at the inquest”

Anyway, what has prompted this self-diagnosis? I’m glad you asked. And no, it’s not me imagining you asking such a question. As you might have guessed, I love comedy. Radio 4 in particular has a huge range of excellent shows, and there are many that I like to record on my MP4 player (I’ve an MP4 player that can record FM radio; It’s years old, and I hope it never breaks as I can’t find any device that will record from the radio now). I’ll record the episode to enjoy at a later date, such as when out for a walk.

Just a Minute is one such programme, and I knew it was about to start. So I was dashing around trying to find it; I’d had it in my hands only a minute or two ago, and it was no longer in its usual spot. I was going back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, and it was getting closer to the start time.

How did I know it was getting closer? Well, the news had just finished and the continuity announcer was talking about the upcoming programmes.

And then it twigged. How did I know what the continuity announcer was saying? I could hear him, as I had one headphone in my right ear… and the other end was attached to my MP4 player in my breast pocket!!!

This is far worse than the time I was struggling to find my glasses, only to realise they were on my head. No, not raised up on my forehead, but in their proper position, so I was actually looking through my glasses at the time!

RIP Stephen’s brain…