Born To Be A Dad
This story happened a while ago when my husband was trying to reengage his maternal family with whom he had little contact due to the demands of his hateful mother shortly after her passing. We had invited his cousin and their family to our house for a small get-together. We were both a little apprehensive since it had been so long since my husband had seen them.
His cousin has two sons. One was just under two years old and the other was seven. At this time, my daughter would have been roughly six months old. When they arrived, we left my daughter lying in her playpen while we answered the door and did the usual greetings. Their eldest son apparently didn’t approve of this.
Son: “I thought you had a baby?”
Me: “Oh, yes, she is lying down over there.”
Son: “Oh, can I go see her?”
Me: “She’s very tiny. She can’t really play.”
Cousin: “Oh, he knows. He adores little kids and babies. He was so excited when I told them you had a daughter. He’s going to be begging to do everything with her. Please feel free to tell him if there is anything you’re not comfortable with, though.”
Even as she said this, [Son] had run over to the playpen and was now sitting on the ground right outside of it, playing with my daughter through the mesh side of the pen.
It didn’t take long for him to come back begging to hold our daughter. I was a first-time mom and a bit overly protective, so I was a little apprehensive about trusting my daughter to a kid so young. Still, after making sure he had sat down on a couch to minimize dropping risk, I set her in his arms. He looked excited and immediately started making cute faces at her and playing with her.
Cousin: “I’m pretty sure you just made his day.”
[Son] held my daughter for over half an hour, only reluctantly giving her back when his brother toddled up and demanded they play together.
Later, when I put my daughter down for some tummy time, [Son] laid down beside her to play with her more, even “guarding” her to make sure his brother didn’t accidentally step on her in his play. And when it came time to feed her, [Son] immediately showed up begging to be the one to feed her.
Me: “I know you said he liked babies, but I have to admit I wasn’t expecting him to be this committed to her.”
Cousin: “Yeah, I know, he’s a bit obsessed, but I figure there are worse things to insist on than taking care of people.”
Me: “It’s not just his liking kids; he’s good with her! I’d never have guessed a kid that young would know how to be that good with a baby.”
Cousin: “It comes from lots of practice. He begs anyone with a baby to let him ‘help’ them. And when he can’t find an actual baby, he will break out his dolls or make [Younger Sibling] play as his baby instead.”
At that point, [Son] had just emptied the jar of baby food he was feeding [Daughter] and done a passably decent job cleaning her up.
Son: “[Daughter] is done eating, but she needs to be changed. Want me to change her? I change [Younger Brother’s] diapers sometimes.”
Cousin: “What kind of diaper is it?”
[Son] responded reluctantly as if he had been caught in a lie.
Son: “Poopy.”
Cousin: “What he fails to mention is that we generally only let him change pee diapers to avoid any accidental messes.”
Me: “Well, sounds like a no from mom, but tell you what. You can come help me change her, assuming mom’s okay with any, err… inevitable anatomy lessons?”
Cousin: “Oh, that won’t be a problem. She’s hardly the first little girl he’s asked to help change.”
He joined me at the changing tables to hand over wipes and baby powder as requested while informing me, quite seriously, that he knew it was important to make sure you clean inside the vagina and not just the vulva to avoid infection, even if he hadn’t gotten a chance to practice that particular skill yet.
The only time [Son] wasn’t doting on my daughter the whole visit was during her nap, at which point his younger brother got all the attention and care my daughter had previously been monopolizing.
His mother admitted that he was a great help with his brother, but she also confessed the downside to his baby obsession.
Cousin: “He’s been begging [Cousin’s Husband] and me to give him a new sibling for at least a year now. If he had his way, we would pop out a new kid every year so he never ran out of babies to play with.”
Once our visit was over, the boy started asking when they could come to visit next so he could play with our daughter more. He got his wish there, and we did many more visits with them. In fact, he ultimately proved pervasive enough to get that baby sibling he was always begging for.
Years later, he now babysits our daughters for us, and they all adore him. He will be an amazing father one day.
