Why does Dad have to interest himself into others' conversations?

Why does my Dad have to insert himself into others’ conversations even ones which don’t involve him?

My sister made fresh waffles for anyone who wants them. I know my sister’s boyfriend is sick with food poisonings from a half a burger he had yesterday at his son’s. I had a waffle and cup of coffee at around 11:25am. Mom also had a waffle around the same time. When she was having a waffle she said “we will have fruit in awhile”. From 11:45am-1pm I was on this computer expecting to be intercom about the fruit. By one pm I was wondering “why haven’t I been intercomed yet?” I know it’s not because Dad’s on the phone with anyone.

So I went downstairs and I discovered Mom is on the family room couch with my sister’s two small dogs-a Puffed Chinese Crested and a almost 7 month French Bulldog (whom we think might have been the smallest of the dogs of her litter because at almost 7 month dog they’re still using the same harness as when she was 5months). When I asked about fruit Mom said “We will either have it in a bit or have it for supper”. So I grabbed some yogurt so I will have something to eat. I also grabbed a drink for myself

After I went to the bathroom, I asked Mom why she couldn’t intercom me about the CHANGE OF PLANS. That’s when Dad decides to interests himself into a conversation which DOESN’T INVOLVE HIM! He says “you know your sister’s boyfriend is sick” Yeah but that’s not what I was talking about. I was asking why Mom couldn’t have intercom me with the phones they have one in the family room and I have two up here. Sure I still would have to go downstairs to get yogurt but at least I wouldn’t have been so upset about the change of plans if I had some warning between 11:45-1pm without be having to go downstairs to found out.

But Dad is able to be so absorbed into his computer at times that he doesn’t pay attention to what’s happening around him and that’s when we actually need him to pay attention. The only incident I can think of is two summers ago- is when we were having corn on the cob like every week (to my annoyance-when I would have like to have chips or crisps as Brits call it on my night)-in late Summer we’re having hot dogs for Friday’s supper. Before I went out to swim in the pool (about 3-3:30pm I asked if there was any extras or I think I did) for supper and since Dad didn’t say anything-so Mom and I assumed there wasn’t any extras. So after I made a salad for supper and the dogs were almost done when Dad mentions there’s corn in the basement. And both the parents got mad at ME for it because I told “Dad to put the hot dogs on” but how is that my fault when Dad had his head in his computer when I DID ask?

So let me get this straight:

  • Your sister’s boyfriend is sick. In the middle of a plague.
  • Your mom is helping take care of him.
  • Your mom wanted to get something to eat before supper, implying that she hadn’t had lunch or anything else to eat in a while and was hungry enough that she couldn’t wait.

So your mom was so busy helping take care of a sick person that she didn’t get to eat anything, and your concern is that she didn’t tell you that she couldn’t cut up fruit? And also that your dad tried to defend her?

If you wanted fruit, there was nothing stopping you from making it yourself.

Also, it’s perfectly normal for your dad to not pretend to be deaf.

1)sister’s boyfriend isn’t sick with Covid but with food poisonings from a half a burger he had yesterday at his son’s

2)my mom isn’t helping with taking care of my sister’s boyfriend except for keeping the dogs clam in the family room.

3)Mom had a waffle just like me, Dad, and my sister. It was when she was having a waffle around 11:25am that she said “fruit will be in awhile”

Mom isn’t helping to look after a sick person- just my sister’s two dogs and she HAS had something to eat.

Because I’m like two years out of pratice of making fruit-I did try on On Dec 13th when we needed fruit in an early. But Mom makes fruit for three people now instead of two.

But Mom still could have called me about the change of *bacon plans.

But he does a pretty good job of being deaf when he does actually need to be part of the conversation like when we need to know how long a burger will take is that we have to yell at him twice.

Like two summers ago when we were having corn like every week-one week when we had hot dogs on my night to make supper-Dad didn’t tell us until last minute that we had corn in the basement. And yet both the parents got made at me about that. Despite the fact I had asked earlier (at 3:00-3:30pm) if there was anything extra that needed to be prepared and Dad head was too far into the computer to hear me ask that question.

So if he can be like that when he does need to be part of the conversation-why can he be like that when he doesn’t need to be part of the conversation?

  1. The existence of the plague still makes it difficult to get medical help if he needs it. The emergency rooms are flooded and you can likely get the plague from the hospital.

  2. That can still be pretty rough if the dogs are large and anxious.

  3. But she was still hungry enough that she needed to grab a yogurt.

Why does she need to tell you that she’s not making fruit?

You aren’t reading it properly… Mom wasn’t the one grabbing a yogurt- I Was the one grabbing a yogurt to eat because of the CHANGE OF PLANS ABOUT FRUIT.

Why are you getting angry at me?

I just have to correct you there. Mom wasn’t the one grabbing fruit for herself. I was the one grabbing fruit for myself.

So you’re angry with me because you edited the original post after I posted and then expected me to reread the original post even though there were no notifications?

Is that something that’s worth getting angry over?

Nope because you were reading stuff that wasn’t in the unedited original post. You thought it was my Mom who grabbed yogurt for herself to eat even though I had clearly said I was the one who grabbed yogurt for myself. And you also assumed Mom was helping my sister with the pyshcially part of looking after her boyfriend she isn’t. And You also assumed Mom hadn’t eaten.

But could we get back to the topic of why in the world does Dad have to insert himself into conversations which doesn’t involve him? Yet he can be plenty absorbed into his computer at times when it DOES involve him (like when I asked two summers ago about any extras which needed to be prepared on a night we’re having hot dogs and yet he doesn’t tell us until hot dogs are almost done that we have corn despite me asking earlier about any extras and both the parents got mad at me for it?)

Okay. I was wrong about your mom getting a yogurt. Is my mistake really worth yelling at me about? If you had calmly explained that I was mistaken, then I would have corrected myself. Instead, you chose aggression by yelling at me. That is extremely rude.

sorry I didn’t mean to be angry… I know I sometimes I come across that way but I didn’t actually mean it

Thank you.

Back to the topic, it sounds like your dad decided to butt in so that he could defend your mom. I don’t think it’s wrong of someone to insert themselves in a conversation in order to defend someone else. Maybe there are other times when he isn’t justified, but the situation described in the OP isn’t one of them.

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and that happens way too often in this house. But yet he can be so absorbed into his computer at other times when we DO need his attention and his input that we have to call him twice to pay attention.

Well because of no fruit, Mom said when I asked I can get some chocolate later to tide me over for supper.

Do you sometimes call for his attention when it isn’t important?

not that I can recall. We only try to get his attention if we’re talking about something on the news, or how long something will cook (hot dogs, burger) on the BBQ or if we have a history question or something.

Does he think those are important questions?

Well when I’m trying to make a salad before Dad heads out to Barbecue the meat and the buns-- yes since you kind of need to time the salad (and extras) so they’re read about the same time? Its kind of like timing having the salad on the table when you have pasta dish during the winter. (ok not the best example). And Dad doesn’t mind me (or my sister) asking about history (the only problem with him answering is he goes the long way around to get to the answer).

It just every time Dad butts into a conversation I’m having with Mom (which is like ALL the time) its turns into a gigantic fight because of his constantly butting into conversations which don’t involve him. (It didn’t turn into very big one today because I’m trying to be a bit quiet because of my sister’s sick boyfriend). It just is getting ridiculous and its been going on for years.

Maybe when he doesn’t respond when you call him, it’s because he’s actually very invested in the computer. Or maybe there’s something he needs to finish up quickly before he can respond. Have there ever been any times when you’ve been so involved in something on the computer that you miss when your parents are calling you?

When does he usually butt into conversations?