WHU for getting upset

So tonight my husband and I were getting ready to have our weekly date. We go to Wawa and people watch and eat. Anyway we were about to leave when we hear the neighbors trashcan rolling out and then the car. We have a common drive so when someone is at the end of the driveway it blocks the way out.

Anyway we went out to the truck and we see lots of trash bags on OUR PROPERTY.

My husband yells at the people who we don’t know that’s not where the trash goes. Here our neighbor had gone away and has house sitters there. We didn’t know this. All we saw was two strangers putting trash on our property.

Apparently she told these people when trash day was since this is the right day but not where to put the trash. This is also the person who has had the ASPCA called on her because she has anywhere from 10 to 15 cats in her house or more locked in carriers (we didn’t call but we’ve seen them do it). She puts out 10 to 15 bags of trash. Years ago my husband’s grandmother brought in her trash can (we’re the house in front) and we continued doing it until we changed trash companies and had a different pickup day.

Anyway he apologized to them for yelling but seriously all our neighbor had to do was give us a heads up that she had house sitters. Instead we saw two random people putting bags of trash on our lawn.

Was my husband unreasonable?

Not an unreasonable feeling but an unreasonable action.

Meaning the proportionality was off in my opinion. Its not unreasonable to be annoyed but the first response would have been to say “hey thats not where thats supposed to go can you move them” and then go from there. Jumping straight to yelling was a bit of an unnecessary escalation in my opinion.


I think part of it was that we have fought so much with our neighbor over this trash thing and I don’t think he realized at first it was not our neighbor.


I think I remember some of your stories/comments about your neighbors and their trash. IMO while your husband’s reaction was a bit harsh and hasty, you guys have been kinda conditioned to expect the worst, so his reaction was understandable; yeah, kind of unreasonable, but definitely understandable.

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your husband’s response is understandable, since you have had issues with her in the past.
Yet it is kind of unreasonable to just start shouting at people.
It is even more unreasonable to expect your neighbour to come and tell you that they have house sitters. who is staying in their house is frankly not really anyone’s business but hers.

We wouldn’t care except she’s always up in our business. For example anytime we have someone over she asks oh who was that. None of her business. All we saw was two random strangers on our property dumping trash. If it hadn’t been that we wouldn’t have cared.

I do understand what you’re saying. It’s just been a long series of problems with her. I mean for all we knew if we’d seen those people going into her house we could have called the cops thinking someone was breaking in.


It seems weird though that they wouldn’t have put the trash on their own property. Why would a house sitter not assume that trash goes on the house’s property? It almost makes me wonder if the house owner told them to put it there, if that’s been a common problem.

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The issue is that since our house is closest to the road and that’s where they pick up the trash, it can’t be put in front of their house. We used to both put our trash to the right of the common driveway when we both had the same company. However when we changed our company we asked our neighbor to put her trash on the left of the driveway so it doesn’t damage our lawn. Because of the many cats she has the bags are full of cat shit, newspapers that she uses for cat litter, and cat urine. Don’t get me wrong we love cats. We have three of our own. But she’s a hoarder.

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Oh, my bad, I missed the fact that you’re a “front and back” neighbour.

No problem. :slight_smile:

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