Who would win

I was actually banned from starting this conversation at an old job…

Who would win in a fight:

  1. Zombie Ninjas riding trained Jurassic Park Velociraptors

  2. Space Wolf-Men (sci-fi werewolves from space)

  3. Pirate Robots

Rules:

a. You have to explain how the winner would beat the other opponents.

b. You can make up any context, battleground or weaponry provided that you make a case for why your fighter would have it.

c. You also have to make a case for how your fighter would beat the scenario created in the previous answer.

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Sci-fi Werewolves FTW.

The Ninjas being zombies would be very frail and quite easily hacked to pieces although the Pirate Robots would also take substantial losses, mainly from velociraptor flattenings.

Being from outer space, Werewolves have the technological advances and aerial superiority. They would start by vaporising the velociraptors as the biggest targets on the field, turning the tide in favour of the Pirate Robots on the ground. With sensors instead of eyes the Robots would be able to search out the zombie ninjas. The Werewolves would then be able to mop up with EMP weapons frazzling the Pirate circuits. Landing parties would be able to mop up.

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Ah however you have forgotten about the cadre of pirates built with shielded circuitry, silver lined swords and silver bullets. Visually they looked no different to their generic counterparts and they played dead until the wolf-men descended to inspect the battlefield whereupon the anti-space-wolfmen- pirate-robots rose and commenced their massacre.

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That’s why the Landing Parties are expandable convicts. Commence Heavy Aerial Plasma Bombardment!

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There is at least one battalion of similarly equipped robots in reserve at a subsea location shielded from the wolves scanners. They emerge and target the spaceships with their rail-gun cannons equipped with spent uranium cannon balls. Avast!

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Having revealed their positions, the Werewolves get to reveal their love of tennis, deploying a giant tennis racquet as a shield for their fleet, serving most of the cannonballs back to where they came. Unfortunately the ships stationed near the handle weren’t so lucky.

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The pirates release the sea to air to space Mecha-Kraken which seizes the racket in one of its many tentacles and begins to beat the ships with their own shield. Meanwhile the surviving ships in the flotilla release another volley into space. Oh, the lycanthropic humanity!

At this point I’ll retire to let someone else play :slightly_smiling_face: the battle isn’t necessarily over though…

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