That depends on what you want to get out of the conversation. When the subject comes up, do you want them to acknowledge your feelings or do you want real advice?
If you want acknowledgement, then they could say something like, “yeah, that sucks”, or your preferred sentence of commiseration, and then move on. So in that case, the conversation would go something like this:
“I feel lonely and wish I had a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that sucks. [brief pause of commiseration] Have you seen this Sims mod?”
If that’s what you want, then you could tell your friends/family this: “When I get on the subject of finding someone to date, I just want to vent and have my feelings acknowledged. I’d prefer hearing you say something like [preferred sentiment of commiseration] and then moving on from the subject.”
Or adjust it as necessary.
Getting helpful advice may be trickier. In order to give good advice, someone needs to have good advice to begin with. In this case, your friends and family might not have any. If they were lucky enough to have the “sit back and wait” advice work for them, then they’ve never been in your position so they can’t give you anything. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right person (just as there’s nothing wrong with being proactive about finding a partner), but it is really frustrating to have someone succeed on a course that’s not working for you and then all they say is “just do what I did!”
“I am doing what you did and it’s not working for me.”
“Well, try harder!”
Ugh.
In that case, if you want advice, then you need to find someone else. You could write a letter to an advice columnist. Though keep in mind that if your letter is too similar to other letters they receive, they might not publish/answer it. You can go through their archives for dating advice, though. I like Captain Awkward for that: the site’s been running since 2010, so there’s plenty to go through. She has lots of general advice which is very intersectional, and there’s plenty in the archives about dating and about interacting with people in general. https://captainawkward.com/
Otherwise, you could branch out and meet new people. I mean, with dating, you’re already looking to meet at least one new person, so why not more? The more people you meet, the more likely it is you’ll meet someone who can advise you, or be a potential partner, or know someone who you could date. And, of course, having more friends is a requirement for leveling up in charisma (until TS4). 
I know it’s kinda hard to meet new people while we’re in the middle of a plague. There is Nextdoor, which does have its issues (mainly, people being jerks on it), but it allows you to connect with other users specifically in your area. https://nextdoor.com/
Or you could start branching out with the people you already know. If you ask the people in your church or bowling team for help meeting new people (not just potential partners, but people in general), they might be able to find someone for you who can give you advice or who’ll end up being a friend or partner.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for advice and your friends/family don’t have anything helpful, you could go back to the first option and ask them to just let you vent. That way, you get your frustration heard and they don’t give you the same old tired advice.