We are very busy as our state has recently ended a lockdown and mask mandate so everyone is shopping again and using their pent-up retail energy. However, my store, like a lot of companies, downsized significantly during the lockdowns, and we’re struggling to hire people back to keep up with the demand.

Customer: “This is crazy! You have all these customers and only four lanes open! Explain yourself!”

Me: “We’re currently trying to hire, but it’s slow-going getting staff back after all that’s happened.” 

Customer: “Such a lazy generation! No one wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Would you like an application? I have some physical copies here if you don’t like applying online.”

Customer: “What?! Why the f*** would I want to work here?!”

Me: “Well, you just said we need more people.”

Customer: “I’m fifty-eight years old! Why would I want to work as a f****** checkout clerk?!”

Me: “It’s sad… People your age don’t want to work anymore…” *Huge customer service smile*

Customer: *Glaring* “That’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

Customer: “I’m so happy you had this sauce! I was looking everywhere for it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m usually pretty good at knowing what we have in stock, but I’ve never seen this one. What’s it for?” 

Customer: “It’s used for Puerto Rican food. It’s a very special and unique flavor that you can’t really get from anything else. I love that your store sells it.”

Me: “I’m really happy we had it for you! I’ve never had Puerto Rican food, but I’ll look up this sauce later and see what it goes well with.” 

They check out, and I continue with my shift as normal. About three hours later, I see the customer back at my checkout lane.

Customer: “Oh, good! You’re still here! I was worried your shift might have ended!”

Me: “Is everything okay?”

They hand over some Tupperware containing what looks like many different types of food.

Customer: “I was telling my mom about the cashier who’d never had Puerto Rican food, and I swear you could’ve heard her gasp from here. She cooked up a little bit of everything and made me run back over here for you to try some.”

Me: “Oh, my! That’s so nice of you! And her! Thank you so much!”

Customer: “I’ll be back next week for your opinion!” 

Me: “And the Tupperware!” 

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. Mom never expects to get those back.”

Not only was the food delicious, but I tried it with the sauce from my store, and it really enhanced it! I still returned the Tupperware the next week (I had it on me for every shift just in case), and it’s a good thing I did because even more food came my way from that crazy Puerto Rican mother the following week.

I became an expert on Puerto Rican food just from sitting at my checkout lane!

On my way to work after getting off the streetcar in the morning, I meet a coworker.

Coworker: “You’ve seen the unionists at the streetcar stations?”

Me: “Yes.”

Coworker: “They’re boring with their petitions! It’s bad enough that I have to leave early now that we have fewer streetcars.”

Me: “You know what the petition is about?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “The petition is against the lack of streetcars in the city, especially in our area.”

As we were really early for our workplace due to the lack of streetcars — it was either that or be late — he finally went back to sign the petition. Unionists aren’t such a pain when you agree with their petitions! But maybe you should listen to them first!

My workout buddy and I went to a restaurant. The waiter stopped by and asked if we wanted to order drinks. We said no, just water, because we’d just been working out and were very thirsty. Plus, my buddy tends to get post-workout migraines, and if he does, then I’m the driver.

Before we could say we wanted appetizers — we were, after all, very post-workout hungry — the waiter vanished. Twenty minutes later, people who’d come in after us were getting their appetizers.

We weren’t able to wave down our waiter, so we walked out.

I know alcohol and even soft drinks boost the total and corresponding tip, but that’s no reason to ignore water drinkers.

I am working in the kitchen at a hotel during the breakfast rush. A coworker making the omelets gets a written order and looks shocked.

Coworker: “That can’t be right.”

I have a quick glance at the order written down.

Note: “Cheese omelet, topped with a fifty-fifty mix of mayo and grape jelly.”

Me: “That’s… an abomination.”

Coworker: “That can’t be right. I’ll check with who gave me the order.”

The waitstaff who took the order confirms that it is correct; they double-checked when taking the order down. I just stare sorrowfully at my coworker who is now coming to terms with the fact that she will have to make this monstrosity.

All I can hear from her at the omelet station is:

Coworker: “The smell… Dear God… The smell…”

What made it worse was that guest was staying all week, and they ordered the same thing for breakfast every single day…