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Happiness And Joy Can Come From The Most Unexpected Places

, , , , , | Right | April 23, 2024

We have a coworker who is neurodivergent. He’s worked for the store longer than almost anyone else save a few managers, and he is known for keeping the fresh fruit and vegetable sections looking like works of art.

[Coworker] doesn’t interact with the customers too often due to some social anxieties and other factors, so he comes in very early at the same time as the produce shipments and makes sure the displays are perfect (and I do mean perfect) with minimal customer overlap. His shift is usually over only an hour or so after we start letting in customers.

Something happens with [Coworker]’s family, and he has to take two weeks off for it. He’s not too happy with this, as he is comforted greatly by his routine, but we’ve all been encouraging him how great he’s been doing in “trying new things” lately, and he can tell us all about his trip when he gets back.

Coworker: “Oh, no, that’s not what I am worried about. I’m worried about the displays. I have a specific way I make the apple pyramids, and it looks better when the cucumbers are stacked diagonal, not to mention—” 

Manager: “[Coworker], while I know for a fact that no one can do that better than you, we’ll find a way to manage without you, I promise.”

[Coworker] goes on his trip, and while we make our best effort, we can’t make the fruit and vegetable displays look as amazing as he does. It gets to the point where it’s noticed by the customers, and I have a variation of this conversation multiple times.

Customer #1: “Oh, your fruit displays aren’t as neat as they usually are. I know it’s a little thing, but it always makes my day when I can tell someone has made a conscious decision to stack the loose carrots by size. These things go noticed, you know!”

Me: “I’m glad you noticed, and yes, our regular stocker is off for the next two weeks.”

Customer #1: “Oh! Nothing bad, I hope?”

Me: “Not that I am aware, but I do know he’s looking forward to coming back to work to make the displays all pretty again!” 

After the two weeks are up, [Coworker] returns to work, and within a day, the displays are back to the perfect standards he is known for. This time, the regulars have noticed, and in that small window when [Coworker] and the customers are in the store at the same time, variations of the following conversation occur.

Customer #2: “Excuse me. Are you the man who puts out the fruits and vegetables?” 

Coworker: “Uh… yes. I am.”

Customer #2: “You do such a wonderful job! You were missed when you were away! You can tell they did their best in your absence, and I know it’s only a silly little thing, but it really is joyous to see how much care you put into your work! Now that I know it’s you, I simply had to thank you.”

Coworker: “Oh… uh… you’re welcome.”

Rinse and repeat to the point where, the next time I see [Coworker] in the break room:

Coworker: “I had to go away for two weeks because my grandad died. My mum was there, and she told me that I wasn’t going to ever make anyone happy in my life. But since I got back, I’ve been told that I’ve made six complete strangers very happy.”

Me: “Oh, my. I’m sorry about your mum, but I am glad you made some people happy.”

Coworker: “I think I am going to try some new designs with the cabbages tomorrow. That will show them!” 

Our manager has since promoted [Coworker] to the head of the produce department, and he’s developed several regulars who are “fans”. He even hangs around a little longer at the end of his shift instead of leaving immediately to talk to them.

The displays have only gotten better and better.

“Closed” Is Just A (Different) State Of Mind, Man

, , , , , , , | Working | April 23, 2024

About a decade ago, I moved from one coast to the other for work. My cell phone provider didn’t have great coverage in my new location, so once my contract was up (after about two months), I switched providers.

All was well until about four months later when I got an email from my previous provider telling me I owed them almost $400. Confused, I called them up.

Representative: “I see here that you ordered a [Smartphone].”

Me: “What? No, I didn’t. My account is closed. It’s been closed for six months.”

Representative: “The item was ordered from your account and shipped to [City in my previous state].”

Me: *Annoyed and in disbelief* “Are you telling me that your company accepted an order from a closed account and shipped it to a state that your own records show I don’t live in anymore?”

There was a long pause.

Representative: “Okay, you don’t need to worry about this. We’ll take care of it.” *Click*

Sure enough, I never heard about it again.

Totally Estúpido! Part 32

, , , , | Right | April 23, 2024

I’m getting ready to get a pallet down for a customer. I’m setting up the gates per usual. The customer sees me — a Hispanic male — and shouts out:

Customer: “Oh, we need to call border patrol!”

Me: *Checks my watch* “Well, it’s been over five hundred years since Columbus got here, so you’re a little late!”

Customer: “Oh, you think you’re being funny, boy? Where’s your manager?”

Me: “Oh, Mr. Gutiérrez is on vacation right now, visiting family in Mexico. Would you like his email?”

The customer walked away. He tried to find a manager to complain to but couldn’t find one who was white. Apparently, it’s harder to explain away a racist joke to a person of color?

Related:
Totally Estúpido! Part 31
Totally Estúpido! Part 30
Totally Estúpido! Part 29
Totally Estúpido! Part 28
Totally Estúpido! Part 27

Welcome To Retail, Part 9

, , , , , | Right | April 23, 2024

I am sixteen, at my first job at a big grocery retailer. I am working stock in the noodle aisle when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s a middle-aged gentleman. He just looks at me and says the word:

Customer: “Corn.”

Me: “We have canned corn, fresh, and frozen.”

Customer: “Corn on the cob.”

I walk him over to the produce department, and we are sold out. This is normal for the time of year; it’s winter.

Me: “I’m afraid we’re out in produce, but we have frozen corn on the cobb.”

Customer: “No! The freezer ruins it! You’re hiding the corn for yourselves due to the corn shortage!”

Me: “Sir, it’s simply out of season and harder to get in the wintertime. I think this store does have it from time to time in the winter, but it’s mostly limited to canned and frozen options.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

The manager is a tough but fair woman who tells everything how it is. I call her, and she comes to the area. The customer immediately goes off about the hidden corn again.

Customer: “I know about your corn parties!”

My manager and I both fight back the laughter. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Corn is good, but who would have a party with corn?

Customer: “You are not taking me seriously! My wife will be very angry when she hears about this!”

Manager: “I’m afraid that there is nothing I can do. All the corn we have is what you see on display.”

Customer: “I will make sure that the wrath of corporate will come down upon you both!”

He storms out, and my manager recognizes me as one of the new hires.

Manager: “Everyone eventually gets their ‘welcome to retail’ story. Yours is the guy causing a scene over a corn conspiracy.”

Me: “A cornspiracy!

Manager: “Shush! We don’t want the customers to overhear!”

My nickname was “Cornspiracy” for the rest of my time there!

Related:
Welcome To Retail, Part 8
Welcome To Retail, Part 7
Welcome To Retail, Part 6
Welcome To Retail, Part 5
Welcome To Retail, Part 4

And This Is A Teacher. AAAAAAAAAAAA!

, , , , , , | Learning | April 23, 2024

I work as a tech support guy in an elementary school. One day, I was asked by an older female teacher (probably fifty-five or older) why her projector wasn’t working and if I could come take a look.

I arrived and found that it wasn’t even plugged in.

Me: “Where is the plug?”

Teacher: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s okay. I can probably get you a new plug, but I need to find one. I’ll be back in about ten minutes.”

But she wasn’t having any of it. She insisted that I make the projector work wirelessly and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Me: “That simply isn’t possible. Wireless electricity hasn’t been invented yet.”

She refused to listen. Then, she took out her phone.

Teacher: “If my phone can connect to the Wi-Fi wirelessly, why can’t the projector?”

I had to explain that Wi-Fi and electricity are different things, but she became angry and started threatening to report me to the principal.

I tried to remain calm and explained the situation to her again, but she refused to listen and accused me of being incompetent.

Eventually, I had to leave the classroom without solving her problem. It was a frustrating experience, but sometimes there’s just no way to make things work the way people want them to.

I later spoke to the principal and explained the situation to her, and luckily, she understood that the teacher’s request was unreasonable.