The Police have your DVD player

I occasionally put things on a local Freecycle-esque Facebook group. General rule I have is collection only unless very local (within 5 minutes walk). I put an old DVD player on the group and it languishes, I forget about it until someone asks if it’s still available. I send them the details for collection and play the usual game of “Can you deliver it to the other side of the city?” “No.” Finally I am asked if I can drop off at the person’s grandmother’s house about 10 minutes gentle walk away. I say fine, drop it off on Friday evening and let them know it’s been dropped off. I remind them to give their grandmother a head’s up and to collect it soon as there is rain on the way. Messages stop.

Sunday comes and I get a message. “I don’t have the DVD player.” Upon questioning the idiot, he hadn’t told his grandmother about the delivery. She had opened her door, found a “suspicious package” (with the idiot’s name on it) and called the police. Police collected it. I assume they still have it but as I told the idiot “My responsibility ended as soon as delivery was made. You’ll have to contact the police yourself.”

What a pillock.

P.S. If an editor wants this as a more submittable story, I’ll post a more detailed version on request.

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Yeah, this is definitely facepalm worthy, and it’s squarely on the buyer’s shoulders. I know I’d be coming over to grandma’s house just to pick up the package soon as it arrives instead of having to trust grandma to do it for me.

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I assume grandma wasn’t home, or you’d have gobbled her up and then lain in wait for Red Riding Hood. :slight_smile:

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Yes! We’d love to use this as a story. We can actually work with what’s here, but if you wanted to provide a more detailed version we’re happy to read that!

No worries. I’ll dig out the Facebook messenger logs and post a more detailed version.

Suggested tags: UK, Free items, Idiot

I occasionally put things on a local free items Facebook group. My general rule is collection only unless very local (within 5 minutes walk). I put an old DVD player on the group and it languishes. I forget about it until someone asks if it’s still available. I send them the details for collection and play the usual game of “Can you deliver it to the other side of the city?” “No.” Then I receive a message from this person who I will term Pillock.

Pillock: Is it FREE?

Me: Yes. It’s free. When would you like to collect?

Pillock: But is it FREE?

Me: The item is completely free. It is against the rules of the Facebook group to charge for items or collect items to sell them. If you do, you get kicked out of the group.

Finally, after a bit more back and forth, I am asked if I can drop off at the person’s grandmother’s house about 10 minutes gentle walk away. I send them a message before setting off.

Me: I am very uncomfortable just leaving the item on someone’s doorstep. Are you sure that you want me to do this? It’s also due to rain during the night.

Pillock: Yes, I’m sure. Just make sure it’s wrapped up well with my name written on the bag.

I ensure that the DVD player is wrapped in three layers of plastic bags, his name written on each layer. I go out, drop off the bag on his grandmother’s doorstep as requested and send him a message.

Me: I have dropped it off as requested. Remember to tell your grandmother that there’s a package on her doorstep.

Pillock: I can’t.

Messages stop.
Sunday comes and I get a message.

Pillock: I don’t have the DVD player.”

Upon questioning the idiot, he hadn’t told his grandmother about the delivery. She had opened her door, found a “suspicious package” (with the idiot’s name on it) and called the police. Police collected it.

Me: My responsibility ended as soon as delivery was made. I told you that I was uncomfortable with just leaving it there. You’ll have to contact the police yourself.

Pillock: But I don’t the DVD player…

Given the competency of this pillock I assume that the police still have it…

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If I might suggest a title, how about:

“Was free; now locked up”

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I quite like “The police have your DVD player…” as a title myself but it all depends on what the editors want to do. They may prefer to use the abridged version in post 1.

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Hi, CJR!

Thought I should let you know your story has just been published! We’re sorry it took so long to get to but it’s a great story and we really appreciate you sharing it with us!

https://notalwaysright.com/was-free-now-locked-up/262015/

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Thanks for publishing it!

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I thought it sounded familiar!

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