The Dumbest Lie I Ever Heard

Hey there, NAR-ers! I’m one of NAR’s editors, and do I have a story for you! It’s not a customer story; this one falls under the category of Not Always (even the least bit) Legal.

My oldest friend has never been great at decision-making. And this story is a prime example of this flaw turning out really, really badly.

A few years ago, [Friend] ended up in a really turbulent relationship. She and [Boyfriend] were on their way to a gathering for couples around their age when the two of them got into a fight. At some point, [Boyfriend] said something like, “Pull over and let me out. I’m walking home! I don’t want to be near you!” My friend refused.

And instead of just dealing with it like a normal person, [Boyfriend] pulled open the car door and bailed out of the car while they were going around forty-five or fifty miles an hour!

Naturally, my friend pulled over immediately and got him back into the car and took him to her parents’ house (where she was living at the time). Her father is a retired emergency room nurse, so [Friend] figured she’d need his advice. But [Friend] was too embarrassed to tell her dad what had actually happened, so she made up a story (which her boyfriend backed up) about [Boyfriend] getting hit by a car in the parking lot of a local business.

[Friend]'s father immediately told her to take her boyfriend to the ER to get his injuries looked at, and also strongly recommended that she file a police report regarding the supposed hit-and-run. She hesitated to call the police, but she did take [Boyfriend] to the hospital, where the staff asked what had happened. They both stuck to their story.

And then the hospital staff contacted the police. They arrived to take statements from both [Friend] and [Boyfriend] regarding the “accident”. The police then contacted the local business where this incident had supposedly happened and asked them to review their parking lot security cameras. Before [Friend] and [Boyfriend] had even left the hospital, the results of their review had come back; neither of them, nor their car, nor a car matching the description they’d fabricated, were spotted anywhere near the local business that day.

The police asked [Friend] if she’d like to revise her statement, at which point the truth came tumbling out.

Several months later, [Friend] and [Boyfriend] had to report to the county courthouse to face felony charges for filing a false police report. The really fun part is that they had broken up by then! Awkward…

In the end, [Friend] had a clean record before this incident and was let off with minimal punishment. [Boyfriend]'s past was a bit murkier, and he faced slightly more serious consequences.

Sometimes I wonder why I stay friends with her. But like a trainwreck, I can’t stop watching!

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Yeesh. They could have just claimed he fell out by accident.

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I gotta be honest with you. Neither of them is that smart.

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Yeah, I kinda guessed that. :stuck_out_tongue:

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