Stop Stealing My Soul! Hawaii State Public Library System

At one point either in Highschool or Late Middle school (2006-2007) the Hawaii State Public Library system was doing some sort of audit or refiguring for their funding table and as a result each library was asking for volunteers to come in and count the number of people coming into each location.

The task was simple, use one of those hand held silver clicky things to count every time someone comes in and write the number down every now and then. I had my own little table and chair and a selection of books, a good way to stay out of trouble during the day.

On this particular day there was no one before me and the person after me never showed up, but, I used to hang out at the library anyway so I let them know I could just keep going for however long they wanted to deal with me.

I’d say sometime around lunch this lady came into the library, she was an older woman who had a. . .vibe. . . of “I like causing problems”. I click the button as she walks in and she turns to look at me.

Lady: “Don’t do that!”

Me: “Ay?”

Lady: “I didn’t give you permission to do that!”

Me: “Do. . .what exactly?”

Lady: “That!”

Me: “This?” I click the button as another person walks in and around her.

Lady: “STOP THAT! You are degrading my soul!”

Me: “Uhh, it’s not a camera, I’m keeping count of the people that come in. It’s a funding thing I think.” (I said this because I had already heard of the superstition about people and cameras and I thought this information would put her at ease)

Lady: “I DON’T CARE!”

Me: Clicks the button again as another person comes in

The librarian is approaching at this point as is the Securitas guard that usually stayed in the quiet section.

Lady: “I SAID NOT TO DO THAT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP DAMAGING MY SOUL I’—”

I got up from my table and walked towards her, rapidly clicking the button and holding the device out in her direction.

She screams and backs out the entry door, I follow her, click click click click click click

She ends up running across the street and down the road so I went back to my table.

Librarian: “You didn’t lose count did you?”

Me: “No, I had just written it down, I can do the math.”

Librarian: “Alright, umm, if she comes back just yell for us ok?”

Me: “Alright!”

I later came to find out that she was a known issue at that library, she was fond of stealing or damaging books as well as yelling at the staff for random self invented issues.

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An effective deterrent for her is to play old episodes of Flipper.

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She might be on to something. Her soul does sound a bit damaged to me.

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Y’know, it might not have been the best idea to follow her while intentionally doing something that frightened her.

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See, adult me knows that, 2007 me was just like “Hahaha clicky button make loud lady go brrrrrrrr”

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LOL, yup!

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So dolphins are damaging and stealing souls?

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Just Flipper in particular.

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It’s more about the clicking. I don’t think they deliberately steal souls, so if they do, it’s not done on porpoise

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"STOP THAT! You are degrading my soul!”

Lady, you can’t damage what you never had!

Of course this person was a problem customer. Probably plans her library trips around, “how can I irritate people this time?”

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