Replies to Post - Do You Ignore?

I have been reading NAR for some time, but just recently started posting comments.
While I have no problem about dissenting posts, I have recently seen a few responses to what I’ve posted that were just flat-out ugly and to me, seemed disproportionate to my post. And a little scary. Candidly (and obviously?), I am not on social media, so perhaps am just not used to this.
What do you all do? I don’t necessarily want to block the person as I think it’s usually helpful to hear a dissenting opinion, but these responses have perplexed me. (so far, it’s just been one poster with odd responses, so I could block them.)
Thanks.

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I choose not to sink to the level of the Commentariat and just read stories.

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For me personally its about learning the environment. If you lurk around for a while you will get a general sense of what sort of opinions would be recieved well or not received well. As well as getting the sense of the people that frequent the comment section.

There are sometimes where I have a thought or an opinion that I know from being around may not mesh well with the comments at large. So in some cases I simply choose to keep it to myself. Since a comment section is not the best forum for a civil debate on opinions.

You also learn the people. Some folks are open for discussion, some folks are absolutely set in their opinions, and some folks will just argue because they enjoy disagreeing with everyone. So I have an internal unofficial list of people that I dont block but I just choose not to engage with since I know it wont be effective in anyway.

Thats part of the reason I like these forums vs the comments. In that in general I find people are a little more open to discussion/ different opinions and it can also be more of a discussion between individuals where as I find the comments to often be an individual vs the crowd dynamic especially for any out of the ordinary opinions

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Thank you - very helpful.
It was just so weird - I was accused of liking “unwed mommies” in response to a post on “Drive Drunk and That’s What you Get”. It referenced a completely different post where I hadn’t made any comment on unwed mothers, but the poster accused me of doing so.
Again, I’m not a social media person and wasn’t expecting this type of response.
I agree forums seem to be better suited for this. I also think I need to develop a thicker skin!

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I second Opinion’s opinion. I enjoy discussions with people of another opinion, if all sides can keep it open-minded and “neutral”, you can learn a lot from listening to “the other side”, even though there is no agreement in the end.

The comments are full of a lot of people who wants to troll, argue and let out some steam, with no real interest in a real discussion or a genuine interest what other’s think. Don’t waste your energy on that kind.

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The block button is your friend. There are people I have disagreed with, some regularly, who are mostly civil and sometimes make good points (or at least what I think of as such) so I haven’t blocked them. There are others who are either trolls or genuinely awful, awful people who either view the comments as a chance to score points or upset others. Just block them and get on with your day.

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Depends. Sometimes I ignore. Sometimes I report. I don’t block unless they’re particularly awful. Sometimes I reply, if I think that arguing with them or making fun of them will be enjoyable.

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Depending on how I feel at the moment, I will 99% of the time ignore. Every once in a great while, I will engage, but since I am horrible at putting my thoughts into words, that happens very seldom.

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Depends on what you have the energy for, I suppose. As long as you’re still having fun, that’s the main thing. For me, I just decided that if they irritate me more than they entertain me then they get blocked.

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I think this is why, since joining the forums, I haven’t really commented on the main site. I can’t be doing with the ones in the comments who seem to think it’s their job to make the people in the story look reasonable.

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Always make your online experience a safe one - if you need to block a user, that is your decision - and if you’re experiencing harassment on NAR, please report it to one of the team.

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I try hard to ignore posts and replies from a particular poster here because they tend to get me upset. Fortunately they haven’t been posting lately, but perhaps when they come back I may be blocking them.

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Thanks, all - very useful tips!

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Ignore, but see what other people say. To support, to disagree, or to join in ignoring.

I often think about, then cancel a comment I’ve written, if I think it isn’t good enough. No, really. I really do.

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I just looked through your history and it seems like you may have a stalker - you don’t seem to comment much so it was easy to find, but way back about a year ago, you wrote a comment on a completely different blog/forum (not NAR), expressing support for a couple who are trying to decide if marriage is right for them. This person who replied to your NAR comment to say some crap about you liking “unwed mothers”? They came from that forum. They commented under your thread there, disapproving what you said about how people can cohabitate without marriage. Whoever that person is, followed you here onto NAR, and that is the comment they’re referencing. That’s why it’s out of the blue for you.

(I can’t see their activity cuz it’s set to private, but I had to say I didn’t recognize the name on NAR, and I know nearly all the regular names at this point).

I would suggest A) blocking that person and B) maybe setting your activity to private. Idk what would possess someone to follow you onto a different site/forum to bother you over smth you said a year ago in a totally different forum, but it’s honestly creepy/obsessive and you should block and report asap.

Edit: Proof. Blue is you.


Screenshot 2022-08-28 at 12-11-51 Drive Drunk And That’s What You Get

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Carolyn,

Thank you! This is creepy, you are right!
I am not a huge commenter overall; you are right on this also. I never saw M2’s responses, or if I did, completely forgot them. (I’m pretty sure I didn’t see them, or I might have responded. Then again, there’s no way to “win” this argument, so hopefully I would have done nothing.)
It never occurred to me that someone would follow me from Annie’s Mailbox (assume that is source above) to here from something from a year ago!
I didn’t know “private” was an option, but I’ll look at it and see what it means and how to do it.
I have to thank you again for looking at this; apologies for delay in my response (lots to finish before retiring).

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And the trolls. Don’t forget the plain old, living in mother’s basement type trolls. Nothing better to do than go start pouring gas on an innocent flame of ideas or opinion.
I just ignore.
They don’t know you, you’ll never meet, no reason to give them half a thought :sunglasses:

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