Idk if anyone’s actually interested but I thought that maybe my experiences with mental health, neurodivergence, chronic illness, being fat, and queer identity may be useful as education and just for those curious about those topics. I am a person who finds comfort in labels, and therefore has quite a few. I will add an extensive list of all the things I am comfortable disclosing, which is pretty much most things, as well as some related topics that I think are relevant. Especially considering this is for education, I will also assume any questions asked are in good faith unless it is impossible to do so, even if said questions contain harmful ideas in some capacity, because breaking down stereotypes and stigmas is very important.
As an aside since this will be a long post, feel free to ask for definitions. I will make a separate reply with definitions for terms that aren’t well known, but I may miss some.
Queer identities: I use lesbian/gay/bi/pan/omni fairly interchangeably to describe my capacity for attraction to different genders, for multiple reasons. I also use asexual/aromantic/aplatonic for these purposes as well, with the microlabels demi, grey, and myr (a niche label that has nothing to do with my name) for each. I am genderfluid nonbinary, and use multigender, trans, xenogender, and possibly other labels I’ve not yet encountered or am forgetting. My preferred trans label is transandrogenous and/or altersex, though transmasc and transfem both can apply due to also being intersex. I will also use queer and genderqueer as general labels, and genderf*ck and gender noncomforming for presentation. I do experience dysphoria and euphoria related to gender.
Related to aspec (asexual/aromantic) identities and intersex: I am hypersexual, referring to libido, into kink, and an amateur sex worker. I am willing to answer even nonrelated questions about this that don’t violate forum guidelines, though I’ll make it clear now that my stance on kink is that play or kink where all parties are adult and consenting with no unhealthy power dynamics is not morally wrong, and that while certain topics are squicky or triggering to me I don’t take moral issue with any kind of fiction. I think another tangential aspect is that I am an infant CSA survivor, which is part of what has shaped my views on this, and I can go into more detail about why if anyone asks.
Neurodivergence, mental health, and mental illness: Now, what is included under the neurodivergent/neurodiverse (ND) umbrella will change depending on who you ask. Some will include all personality disorders, from OCD to NPD, while others will only include autism, ADHD, and very closely related types of neurodivergence. For the sake of simplicity, I will just put them all together in this umbrella category, though I want to make a note that I don’t describe most of my diagnoses as illnesses, or conditions, and only some as disorders or disabilities based on how they affect my day to day life.
I am autistic and ADHD. I have official diagnoses of both as well as of major depressive disorder, severe generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder.
I am also currently seeking a diagnosis of OSDD (otherwise specified dissociative disorder, a subtype of DID) or possibly DID (dissociative identity disorder); possible depersonalization-derealization disorder if the extent is more than is covered by a dissociative identity diagnosis; and have recently become aware of the fact that one or more of the alters may also have narcissistic personality disorder. I was not aware of this when adamantly defending my friends with the disorder, but my opinion has not changed, whether coming from the alters with it or without it. It is scary to admit, though, with the massive negative stigma against especially NPD, and I wonder sometimes if I wouldn’t be able to help fight that stigma more by not saying so. Those of you that have seen me around the site more extensively do know what kind of person I am though, and if nothing else I think that will help.
Some tangential things to this: I have been suicidal and have attempted previously. I have struggled with self-harm. I will ask as these are potentially very triggering topics for multiple people to not ask questions about the details of methods, but asking about my mental state at the time or how I prevent/avoid it is fine. I was a victim of infant physical abuse and neglect as well as the above mentioned CSA, my adoptive mother was extremely emotionally abusive in adulthood with red flags throughout my childhood/teenage years, and I’ve experienced abusive behavior from two other people I considered to be friends at the time due to not recognizing it. Aside from my birthmother, the three others relied on gaslighting, which apparently I’m susceptible to -_- Also, I am a disordered but mixed origin system, both of which will be defined in the definition reply.
Other pending health and related stuff: I am fat, but most of my health conditions are due to a mix of genetics and weight cycling/unhealthy fad diets forced on my by my mother. I could go on about fatphobia (and the related topics of healthism and eugenics) but I’ll leave it up to people to ask questions unless anyone would like me to write a more in-depth piece about it. I have chronic pain - most likely a mix of fibromyalgia and very short achilles tendons. I have massive GI issues and food sensitivities, likely a mix of MCAS (mast cell activation syndrome), the more aggressive form of fatty liver disease, (which has not improved when I have lost considerable weight in the past, also there’s a specific name that I keep forgetting -_-) and possibly some bullshittery from my body that doesn’t fall under any of those categories. I am working on correcting severe vitamin D and B deficiences as well.
(Be back with definition reply after a short break)
It took the longest to get comfortable with being pan - I did have some adjustment to the gender stuff but I do laugh looking back about how the initial “egg crack” was quite literally overnight.