If Management Doesn’t Like This Solution, They Can “Lump” It
CONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor
I have a five-foot-zero coworker. She is obviously pregnant, but this seems to make customers think they can just waltz up to her and place their hands on her belly.
She’s scolded the customers about this, who have in turn complained to managers, who have in turn told her to just deal with it.
Coworker: “Fine… I will deal with it.”
One shift, I notice this exchange. A customer once again touches [Coworker]’s belly.
Customer: “Oh, congratulations!”
Coworker: *Backing away* “Please don’t touch me.”
Customer: “Oh, I’m a mother, so it’s okay. How far along are you?”
Coworker: *Holding her belly* “This is a tumor.”
Customer: *Horrified* “Oh… I… Oh…”
Coworker: “Are you asking how long I have left? About six months.”
Customer: *Possibly traumatized, tearing up, backing away* “I… I’m so sorry, I…”
The customer rushes out of the store.
Me: *Trying not to laugh* “I think you just traumatized that woman.”
Coworker: “Maybe next time she’ll think twice before walking up to a total stranger and placing her uninvited hands on their bodily protrusions!”
[Coworker] gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. When she brought him into the store for us to coo over, she said to me, “Here’s my little tumor!”