Pumpkin incident

This story takes place in October of 2014-2015 (actually might have been more 2015). My day-program was having a small “field trip” to a farm not too far away. Now when we first heard about the field trip the leaders told us that we could get a free pumpkin from the farm.

Now when I was telling my parents about the potential trip (and we did decide I would go)-the original plan was that I would not get a pumpkin at the farm (we didn’t really have a use for them due to the fact we use an electric Jack O’ lantern for Halloween).

Now when it drew closer to the field trip date- Mom told me when she was doing the laundry-that she changed her mind and she actually wanted me to pick one up. I told her repeatedly to update Dad on that change of her mind. But I guess before of Dad’s reaction she never DID.

Dad dropped me off and he expected me to take the bus home. I never did get a chance in the car on the way there to tell him Mom changed her mind about the pumpkin. So he wasn’t too happy about having to pick me up and then entire ride back to our town he was yelling at me (I think the one thing he might have said is “you don’t listen”) and I was literally crying trying to get him to understand that MOM had changed her mind. In the end Dad dropped me off at the church where I was going to leave it on the stage in the sanctuary and Mom would pick it up on Sunday.

I was so upset that 2.5 people asked me what was the problem-1.5 people (my boss on Wednesday, and another church lady who do catering from the church)and the other one was on the way home (our former postal worker).

From the stories I have read so far, it does sound like most of your issues stem from your Dad’s behaviour. I have no idea what to suggest. Maybe there is someone at you can talk to in confidence about him?

One little thing (my emphasis on text added):

What do you mean by 2.5 people and 1.5 people? I’m not sure what the meaning you intended, but what you described was “two and a half people” and “one and a half people” respectively.

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@Stephen there were two people at the church but only one person (my boss on Wednesday) asked me what the problem was. The other person only over heard what I said because she was nearby one of the kitchen’s windows into the upstairs hall (that’s was how I was talking to my boss). And the other person just lived down the street from the church.

And due to Covid I really have no one to complain too. Since I would complain to people at (program). And the parents and I went to counselling once (back at the clinic in one of my other stories-the one where Dad asked my then-family doctor about cold sore meds because when you’re a patient there you can get free counselling) it only worked for like August-October maybe Nov. Then it was back to the stressfuil enviorment

As for your issues, I have no suggestion. Are there organisations you can ring? Even if they can’t offer advice specific to your needs, just being able to talk to somebody trained in listening and understanding can help.

In the UK, I found CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) very helpful for my needs. The friends I have made on NAR are all wonderful, but whilst I am happy sharing parts of my life with them, there are many things I would rather keep private.

Is there an organisation in Canada you can call or chat online? You’re extremely limited with the assistance you can get on an open chat forum, and it does sound like there are issues you need help with, even if it is just someone who can only listen non-judgementally.

By the way, I would suggest you edit 2.5 to 2 and 1.5 to 1. Saying 2.5 people or 1.5 people is very confusing.

Only Crisis line but since I’m not actually in cris. And since I don’t have a cellphone. I can’t really call the crisis line. Don’t want to use the house home phone. I was able to call them once when I was going to the gym and used Mom’s cellphone to do it. When outside the gym.

But since I’m not actually in crisis. And I have mentioned some of the problems on Togetherall mental health place. But all they tell me is to move out which isn’t an option at the moment. or to “be asservitie” and trust me there’s no way to be assertive with my father.

I used to have a listener on 7cups website. But I haven’t “heard” from them in awhile. And I don’t want to take up my Case manager’s time from mentally health services when I do hear from him. Since he has other clinets to s

But still I can’t “let go” of the my problems with my Dad. Mom’s calls it polishing and tells me to “let it go”. But when I have a boat load of problems with my Dad. And every time he “acts up” again I bring up the entire list of things he’s done in the past.

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If you have a problem with a car, like a slight knocking sound, or it’s using a bit more oil than usual, you don’t wait until the engine had siezed up before you take it to the garage; you get it checked out before a minor problem becomes a major breakdown.

If you have regular slight dizzy spells, you seek help from a doctor now, rather waiting for the full blackout or heart attack or whatever.

The same thing applies to mental health.

If you are getting constantly worked up, even if you don’t think it is serious compared to other people’s problems, you get help now before you end up so stressed it is hard to not have meltdowns all the time (I’m not saying that is the consequence of not acting now; I’m just giving an example of what might happen)

Your case worker knows you and knows your circumstances. They also know their workload, and will know how to best fit you in.

I’m sure if you asked them, they would much rather be helping you solve smaller problems now, rather than big problems later.

Please ask. I think you’ll find it helps.

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my current one is the third one I had in one year. I had Case worker 1 in Dec. I had case worker 2 (only got to see her once before the panemid). And this is my 3rd one I got.

So like my family doctors he hasn’t been with me a “long time”

Even so, it is worth asking. That is what they are there for.

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except he has other clients to deal with. And I don’t want to take up too much of his times. He would have to cut me off eventually so he could move on to another client. And look at how much threads I spammed about my Dad on here. I have spammed just as much an Togetherall.

new problem- the mental health site I been ranting too has hidden some of my more recent posts since I did it in a very short amount of times and I stil l have even more posts to rant about They tell me to “use the journal” but when I want to have conversation with other people about my “Dad problems”… …the journal’s useless for that.

I mean this is what they wrote:

“We are just stopping by to let you know we have come to the decision as a team to hide some of your recent Community Talkabouts. Its great to see you feeling able to express yourself here on (site). (site) works well when members share and also allow space for others to share. We were becoming concerned with the number of posts you shared in a short space of time was affecting other members and the reach for their posts and ability to also be supported in the community. In our [house rules] 4.4 We ask members to be mindful of others and this means mindful of the space we create for others to share and be seen in the community too. We hope you understand”

and
" f you would like to talk to us more about this please do get in touch with us.

We wanted to gently remind you that our [Journal]function is something you may find more useful for those days you have a lot on your mind and need that space to explore and hopefully process how you are feeling too."