When They Don’t Have A Cent Of Decency
I used to be a manager in billing. A caller was screaming at one of my agents to the point that she was crying. The conversation went like this before they got to me.
Caller: “My services went out for half an hour, and I demand a credit!”
Agent: “Yes, ma’am, I can offer $25 as a courtesy credit.”
Caller: “Are you joking? That’s nowhere near enough to compensate me for my inconvenience! I know they hire idiots at your company, but you have to be the lowest of the low to think of even offering a figure that low! Put me through to your manager as it’s obvious I am just going to be wasting my time with you!”
She put the caller through to her supervisor.
Supervisor: “My agent was correct and following procedure by offering a $25 courtesy credit, ma’am. Since you have expressed that this outage has severely inconvenienced you, I can offer you $50.”
Caller: “You idiots aren’t getting it, are you?! I have been severely inconvenienced, and you think a measly $50 is going to cut it? Your company makes billions! Put me through to the manager; this is a waste of my time!”
The call got to me and irritated me to the point that I was grinding my teeth.
Me: “Well, ma’am, I have listened to the gist of the calls, and all I have heard is you hurling abuse at my agents for following correct and proper procedure. Therefore, I will not be offering the $50 that you should have taken from the supervisor, and I will not even be allowing the original $25 that was offered by my agent.”
Caller: “No! You have to give me the $50! You agreed!”
Me: “And you rejected it, so that offer is gone. But I am a fair man, and I am aware that your service was genuinely out for half an hour. At your current bill, that comes to four cents prorated, but I’ll make it eight cents and round it up to an hour since I’m a nice guy. You’ll see that credited in your next bill. Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”
Caller: “You f******—”
Me: “Thank you for calling, and have a great day!” *Click*