No, I will not steal her phone!

People have asked me before to submit this, but I’m not sure it has what it takes to make a viable story, so I thought I’d post it here and see if the editors choose to move it to the site.

Moon: me
Olivia: head cashier (“customer service manager”) whose name I couldn’t spell even if I wasn’t trying to protect her identity
CL: Crazy Lady
OL: Other Lady

(Note: this happened nine years ago, so the dialogue isn’t 100% accurate.)


Many years ago, I worked at [craft store with a male name] as a seasonal cashier. This was before they introduced their rewards card, so if a customer wanted to use a coupon, they had to clip it from a newspaper insert or bring it in on their phone. We occasionally had spares we could use, but it wasn’t a regular thing (and a bad policy, as you’re about to see).

One evening, Crazy Lady came up to my register, had me put her purchases through and asked if we had any coupons.

Moon: We have [whatever specials were going on], but you need to have the coupon with you in order for me to use it.
CL: You don’t have any I can use?
Moon: None today, sorry.
CL: What about her? (•points over my shoulder•) What kind of coupons does she have?
Moon: Who? (I look behind me to find Other Lady standing in line at register 2 and possibly looking at coupons on her phone.) Her?
CL: Yeah.
Moon: You want me to take her phone so you can see what coupons she has and possibly use them?
CL: Yeah!
Moon: No!

Crazy Lady got super upset, to the point where I had to page Olivia to come deal with her, because I was busy staring at a fixed point in space so I wouldn’t cry in public. (Crazy Lady would surely have made fun of me for being a crybaby, since people don’t seem to understand tears of rage and frustration.) I don’t remember what Olivia said to talk Crazy Lady down off her ledge, but when she was finally gone, Olivia turned to me and said,

Olivia: Did she really get that upset over a coupon?
Moon: Yup.

Olivia walked off muttering and that was the last time I saw Crazy Lady. (I don’t remember if Other Lady was still there at that point, but if she was, she probably made a comment about Crazy Lady, too.)


I mean I don’t see a problem with stealing another customer’s personal items just so I can save $2… /s