My sister is in the hospital and my parents are struggling with helping her and looking after me. What can I do to help?

My sister is in the hospital and my parents are struggling with helping her and looking after me. What can I do to help?

On Tuesday my sister was in a horse accident. The horse somehow reared up fell on my sister and then rolled off her. She’s still is alive and her top half was okay because she got a vest during the weekend the only thing which isn’t okay is her pelvis but the doctors think they might fuse together naturedly. Do to this it means since Wednesday afternoon Mom been going in each morning and not coming home until 10pm at night. So it means its only Dad and I in the house all day.

So what Can I do to help?

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You’re seriously asking if it’s ok to get takeout when your sister is in the hospital? It’s takeout, get takeout because you want it or whatever. Your mom is being controlling but even asking this question is showing that you don’t understand what your sister being in the hospital means. If my sister was in the hospital, I would get takeout because I was worried about my sister and didn’t have the ability to cook for myself, not because I didn’t know how to make Asian food.

Also, calling it Asian food is not really a good look. China has a bunch of regions with different types of food, Japanese food is different from any of them, Thai is different from any of them, etcetera. Calling Japanese food Asian is kind of racist,


What makes it any more “special” than any other meal?

Food is food, if it’s tasty and affordable then why would it be considered a treat and not just another dinner?

@FaeRei takeaways are usually considered to be more expensive and less healthy than home-cooked meals. That’s probably why in quite a few families getting one is a weekly (or less often) treat.

@Celoptra I can only see this thread going two ways.

One: We tell you you’re allowed to buy your own takeaway, and then you keep insisting that you can’t because your mum told you you’re not allowed.

Two: We tell you you shouldn’t get takeaway, and then you keep going on about how you want it because you haven’t had any “Asian” food this week.

Are you going to be able to respond to this thread in a way that doesn’t turn into an argument?


Are you over 18? Then decide which you want to do (order the Bento box or not order it), and do it.

I understand completely what my sister being in the hosptial means. It means I’m been stuck for almost five nights of having “Dad food” for supper Wednesday night, Thursday night, Saturday night and Sunday night (tonight).

And since Wednesday afternoon I been stuck doing all Mom’s normal jobs expect for cooking- rising out the dishes/rising off the knives after meals, making my own fruit, and making my own smoothie/iced chocolate/iced coffee using the blender. And now that we also have to deal with the dogs- guess whom always has to herd them downstairs and be with them outside each morning? And I also I’m the one whom has to fed them twice a day. And Mom’s also is expecting me to do another job of hers- she wants to see if on Tuesday we can go to “Little Canada” and she wants to know 1)how much does it cost, and 2) how long does it take to “see” it. Because after 2 hours of seeing it we both will be visiting my sister in the hospital

The only reason I’m calling it Asian food is Mom doesn’t just cook Korean food- she cooks Japanese food- like Wednesday’s original supper plan was sushi salad but because she wasn’t here to make it -Dad and I can’t make it or eat it. And the dish Dad and I tried to make 10 years ago was a Thai dish- Thai Chicken Statay. Would it be better if I had written “Mom can make a variety of dishes from different countries- Korea, Japanese, Thailand , India something Dad and I can’t do. We tried making Mom’s version of a dish from Thailand 10 years ago as well as Mom’s Korean vegetables but it didn’t work out for us since we’re missing stuff”?

The meal I’m goin to have on Tuesday is a supper but the other one the Japanese food is a lunch. It just without Mom here to make food from one of the several different Asian countries she cooks from. it means without going to get a bento box I don’t know when the next time I will get Mom’s version of Asian Fusion. Since except for Thursday and Friday- she left before I got up, and isn’t back until 10pm.

And I’m having a tough time dealing with Dad and his suppers as well as other problems I’m having with Dad because its only Dad and I in the house with no “buffer” (ie Mom).

I mean Dad got mad I held up supper yesterday because I needed to open up another milk bag because I had used some for smoothie earlier in the day?

That’s just it I’m way over 18 but I’m still live with my parents and I even have my own money but Mom thinks because I’m going to have supper (hopefully at Red Lobster and maybe this time I can get Seaside Shrimp Trio which I didn’t get last time almost a month ago) that the other special meal I should wait an entire week for Bento Box but I want to have some kind of Asian-Fusion this week not to have a week and a half with no Asian-Fusion cooking of any kind.

Wow. . .


Celoptra, if you want your parents to treat you like an adult and teach you how do things you need to start acting like an adult. You would get upset because your sister would call and your dad or parents would be on the phone with her for hours. Now you’re complaining that your mom is spending hours with her at the hospital when her pelvis has been CRUSHED. Don’t you know that this is your opportunity to show your parents that you are ready for more responsibility? Your parents are worried about your sister and rightly so. Help them out in any way you can instead of complaining about not having something you want.

Being all upset because your mom isn’t home to make ‘special meals’ is not going to make them want to show you anything new. Yes you’re limited in what you’re able to do. But do what you can and do it with a smile. This is your time to show that you’re an adult and you want to help rather than throwing a tantrum because you’re not getting your way.

To be honest you’re acting very selfish.


It does not matter. You are an adult. You have your own money. Put on your big girl hat and make your own decisions.


Are you aware of how selfish and callous this sounds?

Your sister is in hospital with a serious, probably life-changing injury, and you’re complaining about having to do extra chores and eat meals you don’t like as much.


And you wouldn’t like Dad’s meals like I did if you had to be stuck with them for over four years like I did before March 2020 expect for holidays when Mom did the cooking. I mean this is the guy whom once burned Chinese leftovers… any wonder why I don’t want him near the kitchen?

And because of Mom not being home to make supper it’s means the side veggies or salad are just the same things cut up veggies/tossed salad, and Caesar salad over&over again.

More importantly, it means that your sister is in a LOT of pain, and most likely that she nearly died. Your parents are probably extremely worried that their daughter has such a serious injury, whereas you’re just upset you can’t eat things you wanted to eat?

Would it be more relatable to you if I said that while in hospital, your sister probably isn’t able to eat smoothies or Thai Chicken Statay or any of the nice things you’re sitll able to eat?

Are you even a little worried about your own sister? I really don’t think you understand how serious this situation is at all.


Sis is getting better and her pelvis isn’t that crushed she was able to move abit yesterday. The doctors hope by Tuesday that she can get her feet off the bed.

It just I rather Dad is the one whom spends all day with my sister so Mom can stay at home just so i can have a break from my Dad whom drives me bonkers- like if I leave the house library for even a minute -Dad will be up here playing with the tower fan- when I want him to leave it alone.

Your sister is bed-bound, in extreme pain, and only able to move a little. She may end up with permanent issues.

And all that means to you is that your food isn’t as nice and your Dad is doing some things that annoy you.

You need to get a sense of perspective. Things being a bit imperfect for you just does not matter in your family right now.


I love how you pick and choose what to mention in replies. Do you even realize what an opportunity this is to show how mature you can be?


My mom said my sister sent home for me a little Lemon tart thing that was with her lunch last night. It just Dad’s cooking is crap but I have to eat it because I don’t have another choice… I can’t even think of what to make for supper on Friday -let alone, think of meals to have the other deals.

I either have two choices for supper on Tuesday : have Asian food in Toronto and miss out on Red Lobster until late Sept. Or have Red Lobster on Tuesday and wait a week to have bento box for lunch but the 17th Mom is going to have to stay home on one day that week because she needs to bake a cake for someone. I mean there’s a 3rd option and be able to have both

And the doctors say my sister don’t need surgery they think the pelvis can fuse itself back together. (The bone is broken in some places in the one hip but that’s not the painful side).

No it doesnt mean you have to have “dad food” it means your sister is in the hospital and in pain.

Im going to say this as plainly as I can



How about you stop whinging that your food isn’t a nice as you’d like, and actually practise some empathy for once?