Leader saying "only good things" for hoilday check-in before hoildays when U deal with grief?

I don’t know wether to call it bad worker. But in my opinion it’ is. One of the leaders (B) of my day-program I don’t really like.

In Mid-Dec on Dec 19th (A Wednesday) -my parents and I learn through my sister via Facebook that one of my “School friends” had passed away. He apparently passed away (reason unknown) on the Tuesday. And it was right before the winter holidays.

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I was dealing with the grief of losing someone who was my own age. I mean I had been to plenty of funerals for older people-its just not the same. Well anyway I was dealing with that grief all throughout the rest of the day and into the next day-Thursday-which was the holiday party/pot luck for the program. Now right as check-in started- Leader B said we could only talk about good things-so I couldn’t talk about the fact like I would have normally done on any other day -about the school friend’s passing. So I didn’t really feel like participating in anything that day or just barely making an effort to participate

Would that be consider a bad worker or what?

  • yes that is bad worker
  • no that isn’t a bad worker

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Sounds like that was not the time or place to share heavy personal news. There’s nothing wrong with trying to keep the mood light at a check-in for a party. You could say something like “I’m dealing with some personal stuff so I’m a bit out of it,” or whatever wording feels natural as an explanation without getting into the details.

But any other time of the year -other people can talk about “heavy stuff” at check-in like the “problems with boyfriend” of the one person I mentioned in the other thread - so it doesn’t seem fair the one time there was heavy stuff for me to share (besides my parental problems)-I couldn’t share it?

People kept asking me throughout the day what i was upset about. So I had to explain it to people one-on-one, every time they asked. When I could have just explained it at check-in like everyone else would have been able to normally do?

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It sounds to me like the leader wanted to set a different tone for an event near major holidays that are supposed to be a source of cheer for everyone, and that was just bad timing for you when you were dealing with something.

It also sounds like this was over half a year ago and you’ve already decided what you think. What is it you’re looking for on this post then? Vindication?

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it’s just was the one leader. None of the other leaders (there were three leaders in total) said anything. And people had written about stuff on NAR which happened when they were 5, or younger that they been told about. Not that I can name any example.

It just do you know how sick and tired I got of having to tell people one on one all day? If it hadn’t been for potluck and Mom’s cake I would have left that morning after not being able to tell during check-in. And it didn’t help B basically told me to shut up when I was trying to tell her latter (or I think that what she told me),