Leader Briar picking on me?

Last night I was re-reading some of my stories about (day-program). I realized I never explained why I didn’t like like “Leader B”. So I’m going to mention two stories in this thread about why I didn’t like her. I’m going to call her “Briar” for these two stories (Not her name but its better then “Leader B”) Tell me if I need to change up anything!

For people who haven’t read the other stories or have forgotten the way my day program ran. This is how it would run: in the morning there would be check-in, then we would do something (ASL Presention, Ted Talks) then we have lunch (Mini Pizzas, soup, etc), then do something (Games) in the afternoon from between 1pm-1:45pm.

There’s three background informations here for the first story: Once I used to be bullied in school so I can tell wen it seems like I’m being picked on. The other thing is that in the day-program is that around 2016(?)-we started to have a “chore sheet” for the program. So when we signed in the morning we had to sign up for a chore of some kind (recyling/garbage, dish washing, cleaning the bathrooms, wiping the tables, and vaccuming). The last one is Leader Briar and I started around the same time (Fall 2013).

First Story
I don’t know why it just after 2016 it seemed Leader Briar was basically picking on me for doing stuff others were doing as well. Like if we had some messy like English Muffin Pizzas for lunch despite everyone making a mess on the tables she would only tell ME to clean up my mess despite the fact that someone would be wiping up all the tables after the lunch room cleared out!. Heck the messes I cleaned up on others’ tables (when i signed up for wiping the tables)- were worse then the mess that Leader Briar told me to clean up on MY table! (that I techinally shared with others including her and other leaders/ or students)

2nd Story.

After about four years (out of 6) of attending the program it kind of got “boring” of us doing the same things over and over. Like for instant since Nov of 2014 Novemember was budgeting and cooking that month. The only new things in the last couple of years pre-pandemic werethe “Story-telling” lady who was helping us tell our own story, and the baking lady. As I mentioned before we would occasionally have Pot-luck and I would bring a cake Mom has made.

Main Story:
In March of 2017 we had a potluck at the day program. I brought a cake in like always. My “cake container” isn’t a normal one but more a makeshift one. Because I had gotten bored with most of the morning activies as well as the afternoon activies-I preferred being at one of the two computers we had in the “main” room even if I was mostly reading this site or translating my latest Swanson SimLit chapter. This one afternoon after a potluck my cake had been completely eaten up no leftovers at all, and I was trying to get the two parts of the cake container into the bag but Leader Briar kind of told me of “for not socalizing” at the program. I did socalize just not around where she is outside of lunch time.

I can’t remember how I reacted I might have “slammed the cake container down” onto the desk But the following week Leader Briar describe it as "throwing the cake container down-which i certantly didn’t do. She suggested I try the sister program in my town as a “break” from this program.

I did try it for a one week and let’s just say that the other day-program made this other program be heaven in comparison - the sister program’s location is really crammped vs the normal one I want too.

Note: There was only one situation where she was actually helpful then picking on me.

So Im going to try to be careful here and I apologize if I come accross as harsh. But I think some context on the day program demographics might be helpful.

Ill admit I dont fully understand the target demographic of your program but the leader seems to be behaving as if you should “know better” now Im basing this on very little information but the impression Im getting is thag you are older than/ have been attending the program for longer than the rest of the participants? Again apologies if thats not the case but its an impression Ive got from some of your stories.

If thats the case the leader might be holding you to a different standard than the other’s as you have more experience in how the program should run and how you should act while attending.

For instance with your table story. A new person who hasnt had the cleaning chore yet might not realize how annoying it is for people to make a mess, but someone who has had the experience of doing the chore should be better able to empathize with the cleaner and thus should clean up after themselves. Either way as a NAR reader you should know “its someone elses job to clean that up” is a line of reasoning that is often used by the unreasonable customers.

Well your advice is nicer then it has been in the past. We might have had our differences. So I’m going to try to explain the best of my ability and not feel argumentive.

The day program and its sister one in my town are social recoration recreational program for people with mental illness that are living in Western part of (my Reigon). Running twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays from 10:00am to 2:00pm, The Day Program offers its members discussion and educational groups, arts and crafts, exercise
programming, games, a book club, outings, movies and a $2.00 lunch. The peers (ie: particpants) are suppose ot help out with the running of the program when it was in person.

I been going for just over 6 years by the time of March 13th lock down. It would have been 7 in October. The age range is very wide basically everything from my parents’ age (70) to my sister’s age (40). My Friend G who meet through the program she been attending since it moved into (or started?) in her building.

Leader Briar was new herself at same time I joined the program as a “Leader-in-Training” because there had been another main leader at the time and she took over from the (other leader who left).

  1. I can’t remember when we started the chore sheet but no later then 2018. Prior to 2018 or 2017 we were suppose to do the “chores” without being asked too, or people were doing the same chores over and over (one dude, like doing vaccuming a lot in the lunch room and that all he ever did) and some woudn’t be doing any of the chores at all (I have to confess that was me back then at all-the closet thing I got to do chores back then was going next door to the grocery store twice to buy ingrdients for lunch but I did dontate a bundle buggy after one time and I had donate a couple of tongs sometime later)

  2. Once we had the chore sheet we’re suppose to 'take turns" doing the different chores. Ie I didn’t do garbage/recyling every week (which is what I prefered). I did the dishes once and another time I used the upright vaccum cleaner. But I would frequently sign up but not as often as the garbage/recyling sign up to wipe down the tables and one of the last times I changed up my routine in chore sign up sheet was cleaning the two bathrooms the program used in the building

Thing is that everyone made a mess at their tables and on days when i didn’t sign up for the wiping the tables days Briar always told me “to go clean up my mess” at the table I was at . But yet the several times I signed up for the wiping the tables- others’ tables were much more “messier” then my “so-called” mess that Briar made me clean up at MY table on days I didn’t sign up for that particular chore. In comparison to some of the others’ mess (bascially almost a pigstyle) there was barley anything to clean up with my mess it was basically sort of like a hopstial table or the mess left behind could have been left by someone else at the table we had shared.

I don’t remember how many tables there were but pre-pandemic they were habitual being rearranged- what I can tell you is we had enough of them that we could put them together to make 2 set of squares. So when they weren’t in the sqaures you could sit 4 people on each side of the tables.

My problem is that with the table story is despite everyone more or less leaving messes on whatever table they’re at on the days I didn’t sign up for the “wiping the tables” Briar contanstly was going after me for wiping my mess when it might not have been my mess at all… and never going after anyone else for wiping the table of their messes despite everyone leaving messes at their table

Have I cleared up everything for you or do you want me to try to make anything clear for you?