I'm feel like I'm drowning in Dad food

Canadian Thanksgiving was October 10. On October the 13-14th, Mom made Turkey sandwiches. And then 2 weeks later (due to some issues-Mom going into visit my sister and Dad not understanding we’re suppose to use the turkey and rice we had a lot of leftovers)-we had a bunch of turkey left overs. And Dad and I never made turkey sandwiches -had 0 idea how to make them without step-by-step instructions from Mom.

Like if we tried to make stuff we have no clue how to make we need step-by-step instructions from Mom. And half the time Dad wouldn’t listen like he didn’t listen on that day- because the steps were pretty simple:

put gravy in a pot
toast the bread slices once for 3mins
well toasting mircowave the old turkey on a plate
put the turkey on the one bread slice and put it back into oven for another 3 mins

But Dad thought we wouldn’t suppose to put the turkey in the microwave util the second toasting and I knew from experience not to tell him he needed to listen to Mom- he thought he knew better.

This was hot turkey sandwiches vs “cold sandwiches”. And the only one who knows how to make hot turkey sandwiches in this house is my Mom.

so turkey
bread slices
green onions
gravy


Dad and I only knew how to make cold sandwiches which don’t involve turkey.

Well maybe I just don’t want to have single-persons suppers when I’m in the house because I’m already lonely as it is having my main course for lunch and my 2nd course of fruit and yogurt for lunch on my own either in the dinning room or up here in the home library. That I would like to be able to eat with someone else and not on my own.

I much rather Mom cooked or I cooked because I’m sick and tired/bored/expastered/annoyed with Dad’s cooking to the point I feel like I’m drowning in Dad food. Mom and I have more culinary skill then Dad. Since anyone with experience in planning meals should know you don’t have two starch dishes at the same meal and that’s what happened on Saturday night is two starches with Ham. That’s something Mom taught me awhile ago

@PotatoPercy hey mods I suspect this thread isnt going to be going anywhere positive. Perhaps a pause would be in order before it devolves too far.

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Well unless (Disability income) changes it tunes and allows me to work without penalizing me I would be on a starvation diet like many people on disability income who live on their own in poverty to the point, they’re applying for MAID. So I would be lucky if I could get even 1 meal a day on my own.

Some NDP members of Provincial parliament went on a “special allowance” diet for 2 weeks and what they could buy with only $95.21 for 2 weeks or $45.72 a week

and one of them had to survive on " diet of pasta, rice and bread "

It’s basically impossible to eat healthy outside of my parents’ home on ODSP.


But I don’t understand why mom can still make fruit, or make the beds or do laundry but she can’t make supper? Even though I gave her a task coupons for at least the fruit, making supper or the laundry she still “Wants to do her own things” with the fruit and the laundry.


And because Mom’s been sick I’m the one whom tries to put the dishes into the dishwasher after supper so it means I have to be the “dish fairy” twice a week

On another topic… at the dinning room table if I ask Dad a question… how can I stop Dad from taking me into the distant past (1940s) to just answer the main point of my question (1995)?

or not have him quiz me at supper?

Amount of money you’ll get and whether or not you are able to ever move out doesn’t change the fact that if you do ever move out you will have to make yourself every meal, every day, forever.

So, if this is true:

Then you are in for one heck of a shock.

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okay and I repeat myself here.

In my province people on disabled income are living in so much poverty due to the premier in 95-2003 cut, as well as the Liberal government that followed not doing …anything and then the current premier stopping what could have been, (UBI) that it’s impossible to get good food on disabled income and some of these people can barley afford an apartment which also prevents them from getting good food.

Disabled people on Disability income who don’t live with others are so much in poverty that there’s a long line of them signing up to die with MAID-because they think they’re “better off to die and decrease the surplus population” then to live forever in abject poverty with no hope for stuff to change in the future.

Our only hope at the moment is the Canadian Benefit Act that’s going through Federal Government. The idea is that they don’t want the provinces to “Steal” money from people on disability income (like it already does if we try to work, or if we get Canadian Disability Pension Plan) but knowing the local premier that’s is exactly is what going to happen.

So I wouldn’t be able to cook for myself because I wouldn’t be able to afford to cook on my own- I would be lucky if I could get one meal a week on disability income on my own because of how expensive food is.

One of the NDPs who did the special diet they ran out of money 5 days before the end of the experiment but unlike many people on disability income she had the options in her pantry- something people on the income don’t have.

So it’s highly unlikely I would be cooking if I was on my own due to reasons stated in the articles.

I would suggest people research ODSP and Food. And get back to me. Anyway I changed the topic.

how can I stop Dad from taking me into the distant past (1940s) to just answer the main point of my question (1995)?

or not have him quiz me at supper?

This post and thread are a repeat of a previous thread which got off track. We’d suggest checking out some of the suggestions in the previous thread re: meals and in the meantime, are putting this post into Slow Mode.

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I’m ill and have spent the last two days mostly in bed, because sitting up makes me dizzy and gives me a headache. And yet I still have to decide on and make all my own food. And wash the dishes after. And feed the cat (three times a day) and clean out his litter tray.

I do not ‘want’ to do any of these things. Can I get some sympathy over here? Alternatively, any chance of some ‘Dad food’ so that I get a choice about cooking?

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Years ago when my friend’s son was a baby my friend and her husband both got sick. Her husband could take cold medicine. But she was nursing so she couldn’t take anything. You get sick or tired? You can’t say to your kids or pets oh sorry don’t feel like feeding you, changing your diaper; etc.

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Yeah I know. so when I’m sick myself I try to make myself get up and do stuff instead of staying in bed. Due to the same reasoning. I can’t remember the commercial, but its about some kind of medicine and it’s like “Mom/Dad can’t take sick days”

These commericals:

Mom is well enough to visit my sister today to get laundry. And she been making supper for Dad and I the last 2 days. Despite at least 1 day it was my idea- Fried Rice in trying to use up Dad’s brown rice and some ham.

Last night was suppose to be Mac and Cheese but we didn’t have any bell peppers so it was split pea soup instead. I didn’t do much but get the salad ingredients out and cut them up or stir the soup when Mom asked me.

I guess its one of those things “Mom wants to do everything herself” as Dad puts it in regards to laundry.

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“I asked Dad one little question about “What was Ipperwash Inquiry?” due to the reference in the paper and Dad had to take me back to the 1940s (As well as the geography lessons about the Great Lakes) and I just wanted to know what happened in the '95. " And in a later post:
how can I stop Dad from taking me into the distant past (1940s) to just answer the main point of my question (1995)?
I think your dad was answering your question; sometimes the answer to a question involves history. (You will likely disagree with this, but if you only want a surface answer, use Google and find the shortest answer you can.)
And because you have to now wait 4 hours between posts to this topic, I’ll add that, on a different note, it was nice of you to give your Mom a coupon for making fruit - but it would be even nicer if you just did it anyway without use of a coupon. Let’s face it; due to circumstances, we could all be fully responsible for taking care of ourselves one day - might be nice to get the practice while you can request help.
Best of luck.

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It just Dad sometimes takes me into literally Caveman days when I’m asking about something which happened in the 20th century. So I could be at the tables for hours it feels l without Mom having to step in and say “Could you get to the main point? she doesn’t need to hear every detail”

I mean why not just tell me plainly that "Michael Harris said in '95 “to get rid of the (Slur for Natives Canadians) which were occupying the Ipperwash park which should have been returned to them after the Second World War and not turned into a park” (Yeah I could look on Google but that would just get more more confused). And if I wanted to know I would ask like “Why did the government originally take it away”? (PS why do I need a lessons about the Great Lakes for this business with the Ipperwash inquiry?)

I didn’t just give her a task coupon for fruit- there was a task coupon for alternating supper days, making salad, and doing the laundry. But Mom kind of has that kind of behaviour (like My Dad says my maternal grandma has) of “wanting to do everything herself” so she doesn’t let anyone help her. So the only way I can try to get her to let me help her is by the coupons.

I think I have the same condition myself when I basically tried to take over almost all of Mom’s jobs during the summer when Mom wasn’t around to do it. Looking after the dogs (which are back with my sister), making supper (only twice), rising and putting the supper dishes into the dishwasher, and once I tried to sort out the clothes for laundry purposes.

I was like “I can do everything myself” during that one week in August when I ended up sick on Saturday.

When you talk about your dad going on and on and on, it reminds me a lot of someone I know. The thing that helped me to shorten those long talks was to watch the time. I would check the time when one of these long talks started, and give my full attention to the lecturer for 15 minutes—longer than I might prefer, but plenty of time to answer a question or explain the basics of something. After 15 minutes, I would say something like, “Thank you for explaining that, but I have to get back to X soon.” My lecturer might try to continue, and that is when I would say, “I’m sorry, but you’ve been explaining this to me since [start time], and I think I’ve absorbed all I can, and I’m finding it hard to focus on what you’re saying because I keep thinking about X. What is the main thing to remember about [lecture topic]?”

X can be anything from a chore that needs doing (dishes, laundry, sweeping) or a project that you are working on (NaNoWriMo, SimLit, even a game). The point is that you have given Lecturer your best effort at attention for a very reasonable amount of time, and you have other things to do that are also important.

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Thanks for that Zero. But its kind of hard to watch the time when the dinning room clock is literally behind me sort of beyond me to my right (if I’m sitting-I can see it well enough when I want to eat fast for like a show or for Trick or Treating duty) I guess once I change my watch time on Sunday (which I barley ever used-only used on the Trip since March 2020)-I could use that whenever Dad starts his “record”. So I will see about using your tips.

It’s just when he’s gets into lecture mode it’s kind of hard to get him to stop. I mean he’s good enough some tourists when we’re going back to the boat from one of the Greek Islands- said that Dad should be a tour guide with his knowledge.

And sometimes it might feel like it’s forever. This has nothing to do with history but October of last year when the news broke about the accidently shooting of what was she on the film that Alex Baldwin had been filming. The same day news had broken out about some former Dragon’s Den star’s relative (a nephew) had shot someone and when we sat down to supper -he was going on and on and on about the Dragon Den’s case (i thought he was going on and on about the Baldwin business) and I basically exploded at him because even though we barley had been at the table for 5 mins, it felt like 20-25 minutes with Dad hogging the entire conversation. Didn’t realize until later he was talking about the Dragon’s Den judge case.

I mean Dad was giving us basically what lawyers and medical experts would in a court room provide a detail by detail of the case he was talking about to the point I would have rather he started talking about history instead. At least history would have been a bit more interesting to me then detail by detail about “the case”

Celoptra, I’d like to make an observation if I may. You complain about your father talking a lot and talking about history and such. However, you do the same thing. For instance, here’s a quote from another one of
your threads:

If you talk to your dad the same way that you write stories on here maybe that’s why he does it? You have a habit of bringing up things that happened years ago. Maybe you do it because he does it. I honestly don’t know.

I’m not trying to be mean I’m simply pointing out an observation that the same thing that you find irritating in your father is something that you do as well.

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Published author when I said Dad talks about history. it can take 30-40mins for Dad to get to the focus of the question I asked.

. Like if I ask a question about Medieval ages or even the World Wars I and II (as to opposed some other wars which could also be classified as world wars) it seems like he takes me back to the caveman times literally and the only way to get him to stop is to have Mom to tell him “she doesn’t need to know every detail get to the focus of her question”

And this happens every time I ask a question about history that he takes me back to like the cavemen days and I’m talking about centuries later.

. I mean could he just get to the focus of my question like last week’s question was “What was the Ipperwash Inquiry?” and the main answer to the question was that when Native Ontarians were occupying the park-which rightfully belong to them- the premier (Mike Harris, an older friend to the current Tory Premier Doug Ford) in '95 told police officers to “Get the (Slurs) out of the park”. which of course you can properly guessed ended up badly for Native Ontarians.

But the way Dad told it he had to take me back to basically the late 1930s to explain that the Government “stole” the land from the Native Ontarians for military purposes on the condition (supposedly) that the government would return it to Native Ontarians after the War but after the War instead it was turned into a Nation Park which made them mad.

I mean yeah we’re both interested in history. I been from a young age but there’s a difference between taking 5 minutes to answer the focus of the question vs 30 mins to tell me every little detail of what happened before the focus. I mean if I’m interested in more knowledge after the focus of my question is answered I would ask “So why were the Native Ontarians occupying the park?” or “I’m assuming the reason the Native Ontarians were occupying the park is that a previous government stole the land from them?” and then Dad could take me back to the 1930s.

My Mom said that if I had asked Dad October of last year (when he was going on and on about the Dragon Den case-when I thought he was talking about Baldwin case which just gotten aired and I exploded at him because it felt like he had been going on and on for 15mins when it barely been 5 mins) “Could we change the topic, I don’t want to hear every single detail of the case?” that Mom and Dad would have been ROFL because Mom says I have a habit of telling every little detail of a story (a book I’m reading, or a story from the site).

And what’s worse is Dad has taught me I need to maintain eye contact when someone is talking so I have to listen to Dad’s “record” starting all the way in the distant past when the answer to my question is like let’s say 20 records later. So I have to try not to roll my eyes or fall asleep when he tells me about the distant past.

Hey everyone, this thread isn’t constructive and is revisiting issues addressed in other posts. so we’re closing it.