I'm feel like I'm drowning in Dad food

Mom been sick for two weeks. I know I have complained before about Dad food.

Before Covid I had experience with Dad food that after several years with exceptions I felt like i was drowning in it or the kind of “bury the parent in the sand” thing but with my head under the sand bur replace sand with food. To the point I had enough of his food, I had to go at least once every other week to get a lunch from the mall just to escape Dad food or if I was meeting my case manager getting McDonald’s for lunch.

And it got to the point I wanted to have fast food every night because it would give me something different then “Dad food” for a meal. I mean at least back in those days Dad at least demanded I help unlike now (talk about it down below)

And between August and Sept with expectations, I was starting to get the “to the neck” kind of feeling of being “trapped” with Dad food. And now with an additional 3 weeks of Dad food I’m once again feel like I’m drowning or basically under the food sand.

in some ways Dad food hasn’t changed much but in other ways it has gotten much worse. Like for instance I thought Dad was obsessed w/ olive oil before… well now increases it by 100x more. He adds too much oil to a lot of things to the point, I can barley tell what I’m eating. And last night he had us half two kind of potatoes and anyone knows you don’t do that-But that was partly my fault because I said “chef’s surprise". Not to mention the lettuce salad-the pieces were bigger then the bowl!

And unless he’s making stew it means we having rotting bell peppers and mushrooms in the fridge not being used for meals like we should because unless for stew, he prefers to “Clear up” space in the freezers but also at the same time say “We need to keep them full for them to work properly”

Back in the years whenever I was at home for supper (not counting Fridays when I made the supper) Dad expected me to make a salad to the point he DEMANDED it of me. I rather he demand it of me again, then we could have something a bit different then cut up veggies or way-too-big lettuce pieces and I been bugging him about letting me help but again I would have to come down at 3:30pm to do it and he never knows what to make for supper until like 4:30pm if I’m lucky.

The only way I could “help” with salad or cut up veggies was if I want downstairs at 3:30pm in the afternoon and started making the salad then because Dad will want the supper at the table at 6-6:30pm sharp.

Mom’s still making fruit, and we’re all wearing masks. The only time I’m not wearing a mask is when I’m eating a meal, or I’m alone in the library (beside the more obvious ones of doing teeth and going to bed). And because of wearing a mask so much it means the inside of my mask is getting messy without Mom at the table to remind me to “wipe” off my mouth.

I’m getting to the point I want to either have a TV dinner every night or go get fast food every night just to escape from Dad’s boring food of having roasted potatoes and onions almost every other night.

And it’s not just the food I’m tired of it just without Mom there’s no like “fast forward” button for Dad at the table. Like on either Thursday or Friday- I asked Dad one little question about “What was Ipperwash Inquiry?” due to the reference in the paper and Dad had to take me back to the 1940s (As well as the geography lessons about the Great Lakes) and I just wanted to know what happened in the '95. And tonight Dad was quizzing me something he wouldn’t do if Mom was at the table or Mom had made the meal

The only three ways I can escape from having Dad food 1)get sick myself, 2)make suppers myself and last time I tried that-- i got sick myself or 3)have a free for all for supper-and I don’t want to get tired of free for alls, and also I don’t really want to eat by myself I do that too much as it is, with the fruit and yogurt and bringing it up here to eat unlike being in the dinning room w/ Mom.

Like I feel I will have to a petty 2-3 year old explusion if I have to have (outside of tomorrow’s free for all supper) another week or two of Dad food because I’m that FED UP: with Dad’s food!

I understand you’re frustrated. However it probably would be a good idea to go back and read over the posts from when your mother was visiting your sister and reread our suggestions and such because I can see this going the same way as that one did. I’m sure you don’t want that to happen.

You have come a long way with dealing with things since then. So before you go any further read everyone’s suggestions back then.

Btw how is your sister doing?

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She’s been home since the Tuesday before Canadian Thanksgiving. And I heard recently that she want to a Raptors game with friends who helped her out.

It just Mom and I make “good food” Dad doesn’t make very good food. I mean the only reason his lettuce pieces were “too big” (ie: needed a knife to cut them) is because he didn’t make the salad first and then do the other stuff so he was trying to deal with cooking 2 things (sweet potato, as well as the roasted Potato’s, carrots, and onions) at the same time so he basically did the salad at last minute.

Anyone who is a home cook knows you’re suppose to do the salad around the cooking- like if you make pasta like I did on Friday that you make the sause first, and then you do the salad and then boil the water or if it might take shorter time (I can’t think of an example) you do the salad first.

and I do know we have a couple of East Asian recipes I printed off the internet from when Mom sprained her wrist back in Jan 2018. But i don’t really want to make any of them without the Spinach/bean sprouts “Korean Veggies” since I was getting bored of the “Japanese radish salad” even before Mom got sick. Hold on… Kale is a cousin of spinach…maybe using kale in place of spinach? Kale is bit more bland then spinach… But stil no bean sprouts

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I’m very glad to hear that your sister is out of hospital! It’s too bad that your mom is still sick, though.

I often make the salad first— sometimes an hour or more before I start working on the rest of the meal. It can wait on the kitchen counter, or in the fridge if it will be more than an hour before it is time to eat. Since we usually have salad and then the main course, that works pretty well.

Also, if any of the veggies from the salad are also used in the main course (things like mushrooms, green onions, or tomatoes) you can cut up extra for using when you make the main course.

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FYI you repeated yourself

The thing is when I make a salad weather it’s on Friday or not on a Friday (like I did pre-pandemic)…and Dad’s around in the kitchen Dad INSISTS on having the salad chill in the fridge and some salads doesn’t need to “chill” in the fridge especially if there’s no dressing on them yet.

And sometimes its even worse then that-that he insist on having the “chill in the fridge salad” wear the microwave “hat” (ie: cover) to prevent it from spoiling and yet the microwave “hat” should only be used for stuff that is literally going to be cooked in the microwave. (microwave chilli, steamed veggies for mac and cheese,).

And he thinks that food he makes on Tuesday of one week needs to be eaten up on Sunday because otherwise it will spoil. But it wouldn’t spoil unless he doesn’t eat it until like Wednesday of that same week.

Oops! Fixed that, thanks.

The reason I cover salads in the fridge is just to keep them protected from accidental spills of fridge stuff.

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it just Mom nevers covers her salad unless its has a dressing if at all. And I copy her a lot… and I wish Dad would let me copy her way and not insist ALL salads needs to chill or have the “hat”.

I mean he even chilis cut up veggies and yet Mom and I will just put them immediately on the table after it’s done there’s no point in chilling them.

Here is a chart for how long it is safe to keep different leftovers:

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thank for that. But Dad made this stew on I think either Wednesday or Thursday and it’s Sunday (so Friday, Saturday so it’s either two days or three days old). It wouldn’t be a week old until Wednesday.

The only thing which isn’t there was Potato Salad which Dad thought was old back in late summer and it was only Monday and he had barley made it on Wednesday or Thursday of the previous week. (So because he didn’t want to eat it- we had to throw it out hey I didn’t want to have it two days in a row which is what I had been stuck with before that he made it on Day 1, we have it on Day 1, but we also have it on day 2, 3, basically whenever Mom wasn’t at home for supper).

I mean I still want Mom food because I’m really sick of Dad’s food and as I said, I was already sick of Dad food. I mean we haven’t had her food since Monday before I had a hot dog for lunch. I want to be able to have good food which doesn’t have WAY too much olive oil… that you can taste more oil, then whatever the meal is …

if I want that oily food I would go to a fast-food restaurant, I don’t want it at home as well.

Do you remember what happened the last time you complained about something like this? It was when your sister was in the hospital. It did not go well. Many people here, myself included, could not believe how selfish you were being.

Your mother is sick with a serious contagious disease. Remember your sister who had long term affects from it? Since your mother is older she may have them also.

Last Christmas was my husbands first Christmas off in 7 years. We had intended to go to my parents house so we could all he together for Christmas. You know what happened? My parents, my brother and sister in law and their kids got COVID. Did we moan and complain? Yes it was disappointing but we made the best of it, we saw each other on Zoom and we ate Christmas dinner at home.

Like I’ve said you’ve been great lately about being more reasonable. Don’t backslide because of something so trivial about having to eat food you don’t care for. Think about your mom and help your father. Complaining isn’t doing anyone any good and you won’t win yourself any points here.

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Riddle me this how many weeks have I had Dad food in August when almost every day Mom was in (not counting the Tuesday I was in Toronto, to see the "Little Canada exhibit, and The Cursed Child play)? In Sept it was more like every other day Mom was visiting sister. So except for the very end of the month (trip) - I was having dad food every other day.

So between that, and the last 2 weeks- (this will be three weeks) riddle me this how many “dad” food meals i have head since Wednesday in August? (Fridays are NOT included);

If my math is right it’s been about 11 weeks. And I’m starting to get to the point I either want TV dinners every night (hey they will be better then Dad food) or Fast Food every night like I was when Dad cooked almost every night in when Mom still worked before I was allowed to be able to go every other week to get fast food for lunch- which didn’t start till fall of 2020.

1.Mom’s still been making our fruit every day despite being sick (and i been telling her that she could ask me to make a the fruit- for only the 2 of us I gave her a “task coupon” for that reason). 2. Everyone been wearing a mask in the house. I only take off my mask when I’m alone in the library, or if I’m eating to the point my mask is becoming a mess.

Like the plan for Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday’s suppers the week Mom got sick:

Tuesday:
ham and veggie mac and chees
tossed salad

Wednesday:
Ham and Veggie breakfast burrito
Kale salad-new recipe

Thursday:
Ham
perogies
peas,
coleslaw


On Tuesday because I was sick of Dad food I made myself some chilli with leftovers of what I had opened up on Sunday and I think either a tossed or a Caesar salad for myself- even though Dad was going to offer me some chicken wings and something because I didn’t want to be within a 5-foot pole of Dad food. (If I hadn’t had gotten a fast-food lunch that day Dad would have gotten some kind of fast food-but with my previous two experiences that he’s obsessed with chicken burgers- he got chicken burgers at some point in Late August from Harvey’s and that’s what Dad and I had from Burger King the week before Mom got sick)

Wednesday- Dad and I tried to make turkey sandwiches but because Dad can’t follow instructions (and he didn’t want to listen to me)… Mom ended up having to arrange the 2 sandwiches herself. for Dad and I. I made a carrot and raisin salad

Thursday is what I had going to be offered on the Tuesday the Chicken wings and ?

Friday i made Pizza and tossed salad.

If I wanted to be away from Dad food with a 5 foot pool about 3 weeks ago now, I want to be like 50 foot pole now since I’m that fed up with his food and it doesn’t help that he wouldn’t let me help at all and I been bugging him about that since my sister’s accident.

The only way I could “help” with supper is If I’m making a salad or cut up veggies at 3:30 in the afternoon so I don’t have to deal with Dad’s version of “cut up veggies” or “salad” (like you’re NEVER suppose to have lettuce salad two days in a row and Friday and Saturday we had lettuce salad…).

But I don’t even trust him in making a Wardolf salad because last time (and only time) he made it, he put lemon choice on the salad.

I rather he been demanding I made a salad like he was pre-Covid, that way we could have something at least a little good rather then almost always having “Cut up veggies” of some kind. And he cuts them WAY too big.

And another reason I’m not overly found of Dad food is unless he’s making stew he doesn’t really use up veggies in the fridge which means bell peppers and mushrooms basically rot away unlike if Mom or I were making supper (pasta, Asian food of some sort on rice, or Mac and Cheese). He’s kind of obsessed with wanting to clear out old food from the freezer but also at the same time wants it “Full to the brim so it works properly”

And there’s a major difference between Mom visiting sister in hospital/home and Mom’s being sick- Mom still made the suppers when she was at home and now I haven’t had her meals since Monday after Canadian Thanksgiving so October 17. was the last time I had “mom food”.

And I had to argue with dad into having General Tso’s chicken last week just because I wanted Asian food on Sunday.

so is it any wonder I’m completely feed up with Dad food almost 11 weeks of food if you count from August till now?

I can look at recipes all I want but that wouldn’t help because unless there’s a meal plan like Mom usually makes I don’t know what is for supper each day!

So if Mom can make fruit -I don’t see why she can’t make normal suppers I mean she will still be wearing her mask and will be washing her hands extra carefully. I mean yeah Dad wouldn’t want to eat anything Mom makes… when she’s still sick.

The only way I could ever get out of eating Dad food is if I was sick myself and I don’t really want that. The only other way is me having a “free for all” every day. And I don’t want to get tired of that either. Yeah I know I wouldn’t be having Dad food tomorrow since I’m getting a TV dinner out and some cut up veggies (yeah, no oil!).

(And I’m still mad at the fact-when Mom got ill, they got her a home rapid test but when I was ill in late August- I didn’t get a Rapid test and Dad was so sure that I had Covid).

Fruit takes a lot less time to do than a full dinner. You don’t cook a full meal. You have no idea. I’m done replying to you. Someone else can try and reason with you.

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This is what I’m feel like I’m trapped in/drowning in

vs me and a balanced meal

If you don’t like the food your dad is making, cook your own dinner. Offer to make dinner for the family. Cooking is a chore, your dad is taking it over because your mom can’t and you won’t. If you prefer to not eat food your dad has made, your other option is doing the chore yourself. I know you won’t and will just whine about not being taken care of to your preferences, but your problem would be solved if you took some initiative and tried to take care of yourself and your family.

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The problem is I don’t want to have to be cooking my own food every single day. For one it would mean eating by myself and I’m already sick of eating by myself by fruit and yogurt in the afternoons up here in the home library unlike what I would normally do and eat in the dinning room with Mom.

At least the only good thing about eating in the library by myself is I don’t have to listen to Mom or Dad reading the paper out loud to each other which drives me bonkers and I can’t pay attention to what I’m reading in the paper without reading the same setence 3-4 times before I can go forward

And the 2nd reason is I would get tired of having to make my own supper every day.

I made Pizza Friday of 2 weeks ago and Mom had some, and I made for just Dad and I, Pasta and Meatballs Its just the other 6 days of the week I’m sick of Dad food.

I know its a chore… I cook every Friday- and all I want when it’s done is to sit down. But there’s two problems 1)I barley have any idea what I’m making for supper each Friday unless like last week I have an idea and most of the time the dishes Mom thinks up for me are “full pizzas”. and 2)most of my ideas when I do have ideas which aren’t pasta related are taco dishes and the parents are a bit tired of that.

It’s not that I wouldn’t make the suppers it just without a meal plan I can’t make a supper. And a lot of stuff I can’t make without Mom’s teaching me how-like East Asian /South Asian Food. And also I don’t want to be cooking every day if I’m only suppose to be cooking once a week.

But i wouldn’t mind HELPING with supper if Dad would just let me make a salad or something so we could have something other then “cut up cuke”. But Dad wants supper to be on the table at 6:00 or 6:30pm so the only way I can do either is by making the salad/cut up veggies as early as 3:30pm and then they would really need to “chilli” in the fridge.

Well maybe he could make something other then roasted, greasy potatoes, onions, and occasional carrots every 2nd and 4th days… and then I wouldn’t complain so much. We will have it on Day 1, and then we have it on day 3, and then again on Day 5, well if Mom and I would try to replace it with something different on Day 3 and Day 5 if we were making the supper.

It’s more of an unbalanced meal with Dad cooking then with Mom or I cooking which would be balanced meals. I think the only balanced meal I get out of Dad is stew and that’s only because we had “roadkill turnips” (dad’s words) that we got for free in the parking lot of Costco’s on Thursday.

The last time I tried to solved the problem I either ended up sick (made supper two days in a row after making a meal plan for that week in August the week after I visited my sister) or Dad and I got into an argumentlive over something that wasn’t relevant to supper (tried to make turkey sandwiches but because I didn’t know how to make them, and Dad didn’t know how to make them and we were using old Turkey and I knew he wouldn’t listen to me/he thought he knew better).

Okay beside one argument on Friday with him (he tried to be helpful and brought stuff up for me, but I had no way of knowing that until I want down to try to get the stuff and couldn’t find anything and thought we were out of Pasta sause) Dad and I were able to be in the kitchen together without a “shrieking match” on Friday when I made supper with Dad’s help.


But beside food how do I prevent Dad from telling me every single detail about something at the table, when I just want the answer to be focused on my main question?

Like I’m using the Ipperwash Inquiry for an example, like just tell me that “Mike Harris told police person to get Natives out of a park which they’re occupying which technically belonged to them” and not take me back to the 1940s to explain to me that the government of the time “stole” the lands from the natives under a false pretense of them getting it back after the war.

Or how do I prevent Dad from quizzing me about “what have you learned about making stew this week?” like he did tonight.


And I suggested to Dad we look at some Asian Recipes (I say Asian, because I don’t know which countries they might have come from- like one is Dragon Noodles, and one is Mongolia beef) that I have recipes of in a red binder because of recipes I downloaded in 2018 and we can replace some of the ideas for other stuff (ie: like instead of using noodles, use rice, and instead of chicken using beef) for Tuesday’s supper.

But we still have no spinach or bean sprouts to make Korean veggies and those are things mom can make. Since I don’t really want a Asian radish salad either- that’s basically the only “Mom Asian food” I was tired of before Mom was sick… because Mom had never put spinach or bean sprouts on the shopping list so if she made curry or Fritters on Sundays it means we had the same Asian Radish salad for several weeks in a row.

But making beds is a chore as well and she made 2 beds today- I helped only by removing my toys and also removing the pillow cover, the bottom sheet and the top sheet.

So riddle me this:
is making a bed more of a chore or less of a chore then making supper?

Or Mom could make like the main course for supper and I could like make the salad or cut up veggies so that it wouldn’t have to lay all on Mom’s shoulders ( I did give her a task coupons for: Making fruit, as well as cooking on a non-Friday, as well as making salad/cut up veggies or doing the washing).

I guess I will take over making supper just for Dad and I just so I dont have to deal with “Dad food” and hopefully I don’t get sick this time unlike last time.

(I don’t get it why Dad got Mom to have an home rapid test when she got sick but when I was sick despite Dad being so sure I had Covid to the point he wouldn’t even eat in the same room as Mom and I - he didn’t make ME get a rapid test)

I’m responsible for cooking for myself every day. I’m also responsible for making my bed (I don’t bother) and any other chore I need done. And I have to work five days a week. And I don’t complain on the internet about it, because I understand that this is just life. I’m sorry that you’re currently having the slightest of difficulties with life, but it’s really only the slightest of difficulties to not have your mother around to cook for you and instead have to depend upon your less culinarily gifted father for a few weeks. The only reason this is not the pettiest thing I have ever read is because I have read your thread about being upset that your father had to cook for you while your mother was visiting your sister in the hospital.

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You…don’t know how to make turkey sandwiches.

I just can’t even.

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You don’t want to be cooking your own food every single day? WTF am I reading here?

Do you think your dad wants to be cooking every day? Or your mom does? Do you think I want to be cooking my own food every single day? No, but I have to do it becuse otherwise I don’t eat. Similarly I don’t want to wash up after every meal, or clean out the cat’s litter tray every day. I do a lot of things I don’t want to, because I’m an adult.

What on Earth do you mean, you don’t know how to make a turkey sandwich?

Take two slices of bread. Butter them. Put on turkey, along with whatever sauces and vegetables you like with turkey. Close and eat. Just like every other sandwich in the world.

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Wait, what???

I understand that one of your goals, and please correct me if I’m wrong, is for you to move out and have your own place.

Should that happen, you will need to feed yourself for every meal. No one will be doing that for you at all.

So unless you want to eat out or order a take away for every meal (and I don’t recommend that), you will need to get used to it.

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