I Hate Kids and People

Back in 2002, i went on a 3 week trip to Florida to basically experience as many theme parks as possible. But also in this trip was the opportunity to go swimming with dolphins in Miami and seeing alligators in the Glades.

As most of the holiday was in Orlando, but the trip to The Glades and Miami was too much for one day, the tour company laid on a coach and accommodation.

I can’t remember the names, so let’s call the Tour Rep Jane, and the coach driver John.

On the coach, they both had a microphone, but most of the time it was Jane telling us stuff, with the occasional interruption for banter from John.

His most common phrase was “I hate kids and people”, which he must have used about a dozen times over those two days. Despite that, it was clear it was only in jest, and when he was dealing directly with us, he was always warm and friendly. The banter between Jane and John really helped lighten what would have been a very boring ride. I can’t remember all that was said, but i do remember the running joke of “I hate kids and people”

When we were on our final leg back to base, Jane reminded us that it was the norm to tip the coach driver, so “I’ll be coming round with a bag for a collection.”

At that point, John’s voice came over the speakers: “I like kids and people!”

That got a massive laugh from everyone, and i suspect might have made for healthier tips!


Did you get to see any alligators? I eventually saw one in a business’ water fountain (I thought it was a tire; my ex mockingly told me that no, it actually WAS an alligator).

That was the only one I saw in Florida, despite many trips there. Wasn’t even in the Everglades.


We did, but not so many when we went on the cruise.

They had a small arena, where they showed a few gators of varying sizes. After that, they took us on one of those boats with massive fans on the back. Unfortunately by that time it was raining very heavily, so visibility wasn’t great. We saw most of the gators in the arena.


Awesome! I’m jealous.


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