How late is too late to send a non emergency text

So I have a friend who has a cockatiel. This friend lives by herself. The other night she sent us a group text message with a picture of her bird saying she’s defying gravity at 11:30 PM! If this was a weekend it wouldn’t be a problem. But it was during the week when people have to get up early the next morning.

IMO I think we should have a rule that no one should send non emergency text messages after 10 during the week. I probably wouldn’t have known about it except I was listening to my audible subscription on my iPad.


If you only knew about it because you were listening to podcasts, then why is it a problem?


Because I don’t have to get up early but another one in our group gets up at 4.

I also go to sleep listening to audiobooks. It’s Harry Potter so I have listened to it many times.

Is the person who gets up at 4 AM complaining about texts?

are the people who needed to get up affected by it at all? phones can be silenced to prevent such things from disturbing you while you sleep, or not taken into the bedroom at all. also, some people can easily sleep through a text notification. so unless someone has said it disturbed their sleep, it’s hard to say if it’s a problem or not. after all, you only knew about it because you were up at the time. would you have known about it if you had been asleep, or would you be one of the ones who would have found out about it when you got up?


Agreed with Katrin, there are ways to not be bothered by notifications. And even if you, for example, go to sleep listening to an audiobook, can’t that be downloaded? If it can, then you can put the phone in offline/airplane mode.
While it does sound odd to send such a trivial message at 11.30 PM, I would think those who have to be up early have found ways to not be awoken by unwanted online distractions.

I’m agreeing with Katrin too.

It’s easy to silence certain apps or even just a group in an app if you don’t want to be disturbed.

Me and my friends usually start sending text around 10 :rofl:

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If I don’t want to be paying attention to messages, I turn off the relevant notifications. If it’s not affecting you then it doesn’t need you to deal with it. If it is affecting you, turn off the notifications or personalise it so only emergency contacts can message you between certain times.

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Our rule with friends and family is no non-emergency calls or texts after 10PM. Some friends we make exceptions for because they aren’t bad about it, but others…

One friend had a long-time habit of considering things like noisy neighbors emergencies and calling us about it (instead of security or the cops). This obviously didn’t fly, but it didn’t sink in. (Said friend has serious mental health issues and has since gotten therapy, so she’s learned to deal with this stuff better, but still). Another freaked out when his mother called us at 1 AM after he fell fixing a blind his apartment and got a nasty compound fracture in his leg, because he wasn’t “dying” and thought she was being rude. Considering that type of injury calls for surgery and a lengthy hospital stay, and there can be deadly complications either way (plus, you know, it’s a serious injury and he was a close friend), we had to reassure him it was an emergency and it was OK.

Basically, if you don’t want to turn off notifications on your phone, just let people know you have a time limit. Unless a friend or family member is like the first friend (or drunk, because we’ve all probably been drunk dialed at some point and know it’s a hazard), they should respect it. If they don’t, consider doing the notification thing.

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