My client got the idea that filenames still can’t contain spaces. In her spare time, she goes through all of the files on her company’s server, meticulously replacing all the spaces with underscores.

She can’t grasp that the fact that the filenames already contain spaces is proof that they can, in fact, contain spaces.

I am sixteen, at my first job at a big grocery retailer. I am working stock in the noodle aisle when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s a middle-aged gentleman. He just looks at me and says the word:

Customer: “Corn.”

Me: “We have canned corn, fresh, and frozen.”

Customer: “Corn on the cob.”

I walk him over to the produce department, and we are sold out. This is normal for the time of year; it’s winter.

Me: “I’m afraid we’re out in produce, but we have frozen corn on the cobb.”

Customer: “No! The freezer ruins it! You’re hiding the corn for yourselves due to the corn shortage!”

Me: “Sir, it’s simply out of season and harder to get in the wintertime. I think this store does have it from time to time in the winter, but it’s mostly limited to canned and frozen options.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

The manager is a tough but fair woman who tells everything how it is. I call her, and she comes to the area. The customer immediately goes off about the hidden corn again.

Customer: “I know about your corn parties!”

My manager and I both fight back the laughter. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Corn is good, but who would have a party with corn?

Customer: “You are not taking me seriously! My wife will be very angry when she hears about this!”

Manager: “I’m afraid that there is nothing I can do. All the corn we have is what you see on display.”

Customer: “I will make sure that the wrath of corporate will come down upon you both!”

He storms out, and my manager recognizes me as one of the new hires.

Manager: “Everyone eventually gets their ‘welcome to retail’ story. Yours is the guy causing a scene over a corn conspiracy.”

Me: “A cornspiracy!“

Manager: “Shush! We don’t want the customers to overhear!”

My nickname was “Cornspiracy” for the rest of my time there!

Related:
Welcome To Retail, Part 8
Welcome To Retail, Part 7
Welcome To Retail, Part 6
Welcome To Retail, Part 5
Welcome To Retail, Part 4

I work as a tech support guy in an elementary school. One day, I was asked by an older female teacher (probably fifty-five or older) why her projector wasn’t working and if I could come take a look.

I arrived and found that it wasn’t even plugged in.

Me: “Where is the plug?”

Teacher: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s okay. I can probably get you a new plug, but I need to find one. I’ll be back in about ten minutes.”

But she wasn’t having any of it. She insisted that I make the projector work wirelessly and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Me: “That simply isn’t possible. Wireless electricity hasn’t been invented yet.”

She refused to listen. Then, she took out her phone.

Teacher: “If my phone can connect to the Wi-Fi wirelessly, why can’t the projector?”

I had to explain that Wi-Fi and electricity are different things, but she became angry and started threatening to report me to the principal.

I tried to remain calm and explained the situation to her again, but she refused to listen and accused me of being incompetent.

Eventually, I had to leave the classroom without solving her problem. It was a frustrating experience, but sometimes there’s just no way to make things work the way people want them to.

I later spoke to the principal and explained the situation to her, and luckily, she understood that the teacher’s request was unreasonable.

While driving home, I get stuck waiting at the railway crossing near the station of my little hometown. The station is to my left, the train has just stopped there. From my right, over a grassland, two preteen boys are biking toward the crossing. I mostly notice them because I am a bit worried about them knowing to look out for the train. They do; they lie down on the grass just under the bank, probably to watch the train from below. They’re nearer than I’m really comfortable with but safe enough.

Once the train is gone, one of them runs up the bank and puts something on a rail. Then, he looks around and adds two rather large stones — about the width of the rail itself, as far as I can see from where I am sitting in the third car from crossing. Then, he grabs his bike and goes to join his friend standing near the crossing; they obviously want to cross both the railway and street.

Seeing these actions, I roll down my right window. With half a dozen cars in each direction, they won’t be able to cross the street before my car reaches them, so I will be able to tell them off.

Only… the first car stops at the crossing. I don’t hear what is said, but one of the boys runs back to the rail and swipes the stones off. The cars in front of me drive away.

Wait, but he left the first thing. It’s not a stone but something colourful; maybe it’s soft, but still, I’m not going to take any chances.

I stop by the boys and shout for them to get the last item, as well, while the first car from the opposite direction has also stopped and is honking. The boys go and get the third item, as well, and we all drive on.

Somebody got a triple dose of being raised by the village today. And I got my belief that I am living among decent people confirmed.

I don’t know if it’s just my resort that gets this or if it’s everywhere, but so many people come and check in with “service dogs”, and it is so painfully obvious that they’re not really service dogs. This happens during check-in.

Customer: “Just so you know, I have a service dog: a black poodle, golden retriever mix. It’s for medical alert.”

This dog isn’t with her during check-in.

When we ask her the two questions we are legally allowed to ask, she gets angry and threatens us.

Customer: “You’ll get in trouble for asking those questions!”

I pull out our booklet and literally show her the law before she gives up. As we’re doing this, her husband brings the dog in, and this furry friend can’t even listen to being told to sit. Before I can even finish checking them in, it tries to jump on other guests and barks.

Me: “Ma’am, I am not convinced that this is a service dog.”

The woman tries to talk to me but is being pulled away by the dog who has discovered an interesting new smell.

Customer: “I told you that you will be in trouble if you deny access to my service dog!”

Me: “Your dog has been in the lobby for five minutes, and it has disobeyed your every order, bothered other guests, and been a noise nuisance. This behavior is bad for a dog in general, let alone a service dog.”

Customer: “That’s it! I’m going to complain! Where is your manager?!”

Manager: “I’m standing right behind you, and I am charging you the hotel’s pet fee, plus a cleaning fee.”

Customer: “That’s discrimination! Why am I being charged a cleaning fee?!”

Manager: “Because I doubt the steaming turd next to us was made by one of our other guests, ma’am.”

He points down to the recently-deposited evidence.

Customer: “Oh, s***!”

“Oh, s***,” indeed! They were charged the pet fee and a cleaning fee, and we took a bigger deposit against their room. They had to check out early since the dog was such a barker that we got multiple noise complaints.