The Customer Wants Gas But Is Full Of Hot Air
Customer: “I need gas.”
Me: “How much, and what pump for you today?”
Customer: “I need to fill up out there! What the f*** do you think?!”
He just points at the window and makes no attempts to be specific.
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but here at [Gas Station Chain], we need to start with an amount when you pay inside, and also, which one was it again?”
Customer: “I just need to f****** fill it, g**d*** it! It’s the white truck out there! F****** bulls*** town.”
Me: “We could start the number a little high; whatever you don’t use, it puts right back on the card when you hang it up. And which white truck is it?”
Customer: “It’s right f****** there. Are you r****ded? Fine, put eighty on there.”
At this point, through the process of elimination, I have figured out which truck is his, and I proceed so I can get him out of the way.
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it appears your card has been declined. We can set it up again in case it was just a wrong PIN.”
Customer: “You pieces of s***. I come here all the time!”
In four years, I’ve never seen him.
Customer: “I know the owner!”
The president of the large corporate company is over two thousand miles away; I think I’m in the clear.
Customer: “Here! Just put twenty in cash on there! Can you f****** do that?!”
Me: “Absolutely, sir. You have yourself a fine day now.”
At this point, I attempt to wash myself of this man, but the jacka** has other plans. He pushes past my other customers, physically almost slams into the door, angrily sets up the pump, and then proceeds to think he’s gonna smoke a f****** cigarette at the pump.
I immediately hit the hard stop, go to the intercom, look straight out at him, and begin shaking my head, waving my finger, going, “Ah, ah, ah,” just like the guy from “Jurassic Park”.
Fuming, he comes back to try and lay into me, but my boss is there, and she has witnessed the entire thing.
Boss: *To me* “Go in the back.”
Customer: “What the f*** is your guy’s problem?! That little piece of s*** needs to come out here! I’ll kick his f****** a**!”
Boss: “Did you just threaten my employee?! What gives you the nerve? Do I need to call the cops? Get the f*** out of my store!”
The customer was both fuming angry and white as a sheet as he pivoted and went straight out the door. My boss immediately went and saved the camera footage for the inevitable Human Resources call, but it never came.