Background: There’s only three things you need to know. 1)I had problems with a class in post-secondary school so that’s why I was graduating in 2012. 2)my sister went to post-secondary school twice (first university and then a college) and she graduated from the 2nd in summer of 2012. Third thing is at the time, I had replaced one frozen brand of broccoli and cheese wrap with something similar which only had two per box.
It was October 2012- It was MY college graduation day and Dad, Sister and I were getting ready to leave. Mom was going to meet us at the college. Sis was having trouble with something, and Dad told me to “Go wait in the car” but since he didn’t specify about the car -I choose the front passenger seat and when Dad &sis came out they both tried to bully me into sitting into the back seat because “sis had high heels on”. I refused to move and sister decided not to come because I was being “mean”. It was MY graduation day and beside I would have to give up that seat to Mom afterwards anyway.
On the following Wednesday, I went to do the recycling and I found the brocclic&cheese box in the cardboard recycling bin and since I knew I hadn’t opened it yet. When I walked to Mom, she said that my sister said that “there wasn’t any other food in the house” when she ate it.
Do you think my sister ate cheese&brocclic sandwhich to “Get back at me”?
Yes your sister did eat them deliberately
No she didn’t
Other (comment why you choose this in a post)
Do I have enough information at the beginning or too much? @Stephen
This happened nine years ago, and it was a lunch. Do you not have more important things to worry about? If the poll decides that yes, your sister wronged you do you go and tell her that she owes you three dollars? What are you trying to get out of this poll?
If the worst thing your sister ever did to you is skip your graduation and eat your frozen dinner, you got lucky.
the two small things my sister ate was going to be MY Monday night quick supper since I had bowling to go to and it started at 6pm. And I had to be in Dad’s car on Monday by 5:30pm to be dropped off at someone’s place to be picked up by a third person to go to bowling. And my sister ate BOTH (Two) of the small broccoli and cheese wraps. It was the only supper I was going to get because at the time 1)I didn’t have my own bank card. and 2)the only money I was talking was the bowling fee. I might be luckly if I was against (not a completion until Easter time)- someone, who might offer some chocolate or something, or in one case popcorn he brought from the concession stand.
I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong, but what are you going to do about it now? And was there nothing else in the house that you could eat for a quick dinner? No bread and cold cuts? Nothing? Did your parents let you go bowling without any money and without having eaten anything? This is just such a small complaint to be obsessing over nine years after the fact.
You know nothing of what’s its like living in this house. How about the felt Dad made me have a terrible experience in 2012 on “theme park day” which he took me too- like blaming me for running over a elderly woman’s toes when it’s HIS fault I did that because of him wrenching my arm off? or how about the fact Dad keeps making me feel like " my mother’s keeper" when I come home from the church alone to the point I stopped GOING to church? I would like to go to church again in normal times- but when Mom gets back to choir and play practice I know that the questions will start back up again “where’s Mom?” and “Have you had lunch yet?” when the only food there is cookies, and maybe crackers&cheese and some grapes. OR how about the fact he hurt my feelings several times by speaking or harassing me at the doctor’s for several years? Or the fact Dad and sister didn’t listen to me in 2006 when I tried to tell them I need to eat before Mom came home because we’re being picked up at 5:45? Or about the time both of them insulted my weight in 2014?
There was other food in the house…but I had really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, being looking forward to opening the next box of the broccoli and cheese things. And I never got to because sis ate both of those. So can you guess how disappointment I was and like I said, I never, ever got any kind of similar replacement because the next time Mom went to Giant Tiger store since by that time the store no longer carried the replacement for the original broccoli & cheese stuff. Due to that I been bugging Mom for years about making something with broccoli and cheese for Friday’s suppers.
You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like to live in your house. It sounds bad, but it also sounds like you standing up for yourself and telling your dad to back off would help. Tell him to stay out of the doctor’s office when you go, tell him to not grab you without permission, that sort of thing.
You also need to start taking care of yourself. If you need to leave early and need to eat before then, make your own dinner rather than relying on your dad and sister. If you want broccoli and cheese stuff for dinner, there are hundreds of recipes online. You’re an adult with a college degree, you’re supposed to be able to do at least the basics. I know that you have some sort of disability, but that’s not an excuse to not try to grow up and learn to do basic adult things on your own.
You also should decide what you want out of these posts. Do you want advice or do you want to complain and have people commiserate? They seem to be asking for advice, but anytime people give you advice you whine about how you can’t do things and the most basic attempts to rectify the situation are too hard. If you just want to complain, that’s fine but stop asking for advice on what to do if you’re just trying to vent.
Do you miss the fact… the dinner I was going to get was 1)Frozen meal for ONE? and 2) I was NOT relying on my Dad or my sister for the meal. It was a pre package FROZEN dinner. And I had been planning on having it for my SUPPER on that Monday night had my SISTER not eaten it!! I barley have time to cut veggies and pop a frozen something into a microwave (like the Brocclic and cheese burrtiro/pizza pocket thing) before I have to be in Dad’s car to be driven someplace (it used to be someone’s house, but ,last year Dad drove me to the bowling alley) by 5:30ish. I WAS making my own meal by popping a frozen meal into the microwave. I didn’t have time to cook a complicated meal on the bacon stove even if I could find 100 recipes online. Those kind of recipies would be if I had more time like on the weekend or something. But most brocclic&cheese reciplies are for like Mac&cheese but both the FROZEN dinners (both the originally, burrito-like dish, and the more pizza pocket- like dish) were more of a “something I could eat with my hands” then the pasta with cheese and broccoli I had to replace them with.
Do you not know the term “Frozen” meal and “prepackage meal” MEAN?
Tell him to stay out of the doctor’s office when you go, tell him to not grab you without permission, that sort of thing.> Blockquote
I do not have a bloody choice in this mater. I have to have a bacon parent despite being 31 in the bacon doctor’s office because “I might not understand” what the doctor says!
Here’s some threads so you can see what I have to deal with:
I copied the two stories from the above so you didn’t have to go through the 911 group home thread to find them.
since Nov 2013. My church has plays (and not your normal church ones- we have done some more professional plays as well-let’s just say we have had a Catholic wedding, a Jewish wedding, and a Irish (?) wedding at the church via the plays). For some years (2010-2019 with a stint in 2006) of being part of the FOH (Front of House) in my case the usher for the plays. Now the year before (2013) I had been able to go to the cast party.
So I assumed in this year for the 3 and a half days of the play that I would be going to the cast party again and Mom didn’t bother to tell me otherwise until the Saturday. So I was very upset for the rest of the afternoon (t was a 4pm performance vs. the night performances) . When I got into Dad’s car with my dad and sister-Dad asked why the *** I was upset and sis told him that (I) thought I was going to the cast party. I guess Dad didn’t hear the word “thought”. And when we got home when I was still upset and crying- he accused me of “being childish” (hinting/pinching/etc) and have been “uninvited” to the cast party. When I told him that wasn’t what happened he didn’t believe me and that made me more upset.
July of 2016. My Mom and I have a habit normally of going to (distant town in our province to see plays in this town. For some years on the main street there was a (coffee restaurant)) it disappeared by 2019.
Now at this restaurant I would be able to get either ice tea (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays & Saturdays) or Pepsi (Fridays). Now this particular summer that we were trying to save money for our trip that fall So we did a couple of day trips up to distant town). My Mom didn’t think of mentioning it to me before I was telling her what to order IN the restaurant that I “wouldn’t be able to drink Pepsi or Ice tea with my meal” and that made me go into “full meltdown mode” and basically I was having a meltdown Dad must have thought I was talking a little TOO loud and that “someone was going to call 911 on me” and he even said so to my face.
Except for last year-my parents and I been on trips in 2013, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019 to various countries in the world. We came back from our last trip in 2019 and after we got our luggage at (provincial capital’s airport) we went to the “airport express” and on the way there Mom and I notice a sign saying that there was a delay with the train. Dad was not too happy about that and he was grumping. That made me tell him to I think “Grow up” and that turned into an argument.
I even reminded him that HE was the one who acted childish at a museum in (country we visited). That turned into an argument against both my parents and Dad was so sure that the “guards” or personal (sorry not sure what the word is) was going to pepper spray me or call the actual cops on me for “arguing” to/with my parents.
and I have tried to stand up for myself but that just leds to fucking arguments on Dad’s party we’re like litereally two goats, ramming heads (three goats if sister’s around). Like once he told me around the time HE acted childish “I WILL NEVER GET A REALLY JOB BECAUSE I DON’T LISTEN” and it was over me leaving unwashed lettuce on a “filithy counter next to a filthy sink” I was going to wash the dam lettuce when I was done getting it off the heart!
I mean the real thing I need help with is with stuff like Michelena’s food, I need helping opening the dam package, and needing to stir it. Which if Dad was the only one around it meant, he will wash the fork we use to stir it, despite the fact the fork would be going INTO my mouth? And this is the same dad who leaves “dirty knives” on the same “filthy counter”?
And I think she lied because it’s the first of the two times she lied to Mom about something. The other time I had literally asked if she wanted to be at the table with the parents and I and she said “no” and then she told Mom “she wasn’t being included”. It’s pretty spucious that despite their being plenty of other food in the house she claimed otherwise and eat MY frozen meal.
the thread is mostly a vent. Sure the stuff is from a “long time ago” but since I never got apology for anything from her. Heck Dad’s one better in that department because he apologised for the not listening over the baked potato incident!
only my sister and my Dad. Sure there’s good things about them (sister took the two of us summer of '99 to a Cirque de Soiel) the first time I ever had cotton candy. And she has taken me to Jack Astor’s twice. And (pig-tail girl restaurant) once. And dad in 2012 let me cook tacco salad (my favourite summer meal to make since I can make it 100% on my own) for the first time. And sister “hand me down” her slushee making cup.
Well, I tried. Your reading comprehension is terrible, you have no idea what I actually said to you and I don’t have time to go through your giant post about how you hate your family and won’t do anything to extricate yourself from a bad situation because it’s too hard. If you’re ever ready to try, your social worker should be able to help you get control over your money and keep your dad out of the doctors office with you and maybe start to move out but I can’t give you any advice if you won’t do anything with it.
I’m sorry if I came off as a bit offensive… but the way you worded the last post made it sound like your thought my Dad or my sister were helping me to make my "uick supper for Monday night nine years ago. They weren’t… I was doing it on my bacon own by tossing a frozen meal (frozen meal brands: Stouffer’s Michelina’s, Smart Ones, Lean Cuisine, etc) into the microwave so I could eat before I have to be in Dad’s car at 5:30pm.
And I had been really looking forward to opening up the box of the broccoli & cheese pizza-pocket thing that Mom(?) had just gotten from the Giant Tiger. And since I never got a replacement for it (the pasta dishes don’t count since you can’t eat them with your hands) because like I have said THREE times now- the next time Mom went to Giant Tiger (the store she got these at)-didn’t have them at the moment. I don’t know if they have had them since or not-since I don’t go to that store or rarely.
These are examples of the l two “broccoli & cheese” things I’m talking about even if they aren’t the right brand of what I originally had. But close enough for comparsion.
Pizza-pocket like thing which was the replacement for the above-kind of thing.
And sis ate the only two in the new box and then claimed that “there was nothing else in the house” (when there WAS to eat that day) on the day she didn’t go to my college graduation just because I didn’t let her or Dad bully me into the back seat.
What I really need help with is stuff like the Michelina’s package and stuff. In normal times when I go to bowling I don’t have the time to make a complicate meal for myself. I only have enough time to: cut up carrot&cukes for myself, open up a package of frozen food, (sometimes with help if it’s Michelina’s), put it into the mircowave pour some chips into a bowl for myself, go stir whatever frozen meal I’m having (again with help if it’s in a Michelina’s package), either put it back into the microwave for another bit, and then let it stand which gives me enough time to pour my drink (it was one drink at the time, now two supper drinks). Then on top of that I have to brush my teeth, change clothes (after 2013-I didn’t need to change clothes due to already being changed), get money ready, and make a new drink for myself. And yet still be in Dad’s car by 5:30pm and I mean I literally have to be in the car for that time.
I’m having supper on those kind of days at about 4:30pm and i have to be in the car by hour after not exactly time to play around with complicated meals.
Not yet… I have an email for the person who helped me get the ball rolling.
And I was mad at Mom earlier. She critized me for cutting one of my presciritions in half (I take a full in the morning and a half at night) on my own. I mean she was busy watching something! And she told me “You know you have to have the correct dosage right?” I mean she was treating me like I was 5. And also she showed me back in the summer of 2012 how to goddamm do it. And she then said “While I was waiting for you because you always want to help”. While of course I want to do it myself! What would happen if my parents were in an accident? Or they come down with something bad and can’t take care of me? They said “they will never kick me out” and only say stuff like “they only say they’ll kick me out when they’re frustrated”. and I thought I had done a pretty good job in cutting the stuff in half just for Mom to treat me like I’m 5. (It’s bad enough my Dad & sister do it)
I don’t want to learn this stuff when I’m 50. Same goes for calling the goddam pharmacy for prescriptions refills.
I think you should take a step back and have a long think about how your family treat you and look at the situation from a different angle. I really think the only problem you have is that your ENTIRE family are over protective of you and treat you like a child. This is from reading this entire thread and some of your other posts. I gather you have an illness or disability? Maybe show them you can take care of yourself? And having meltdowns about how they treat you is not the way to do it? Pardon the bluntness of this remark…but you need to grow up.
@Rhona Yeah I DID try to do something “grown-up” on my bloody own recently. It was cutting one of my need prescriptions in half according to instructions (since I take a half at night) and Mom scolded me for doing that without her fucking supervision. And yet I did it at least once in summer of 2012 without anyone’s supervision. That’s what happens when I try to show I’m a fucking grown-up is I get scolded for doing it without their supervision. Which always led to fights in this house.
Or how about the fact I make a big elaborate plan of how I would go to a doctor’s appointment on my own (take Go Train, then switch to the subway, to a certain stop, and then get to the hospital for blood work) and I still had to take my big-mouth dad to the 2019 appointment.
I can’t “Grow up” when my parents wouldn’t bacon let me?
I don’t think Dad’s overprotective because if he was he wouldn’t keep saying that I would be either drugged or have 911 call on me in a group home for “acting childish”. Nor would he scream at me about the pumpkin incident saying “I never listen” when I did listen: To MOM in that incident. Or insult me about my weight twice.
or maybe my sister and Dad shouldn’t have tried to bully me into seating into the backseat on MY graduation day in 2012?
I mean after the ceremony if sis had actually come I would be the one stuck in the WORST spot ever. Behind Dad who is basically a more serious version of Hagrid from Harry Potter.
So, I needed the leg room when I could in the front of the car more then my sister did. But that still didn’t give her the right to eat MY broccoli & cheese thing and never get a replacement for it and then for her to claim to “Mom there was nothing else in the house”. when there WAS other food in the house for her to fucking eat. Or even better she could have headed down (either on foot OR by her own car) to the food court to Wendy’s or McDonald’s to get some food since she does eat those occasionally. She had a job at the time unlike ME. McDonald’s 10mins by walking, 3 mins by car. Wendy’s again 10mins by walking, 4 mins by car.
The change in date makes no difference to my change in stance of not knowing. And I’ll be perfectly frank: I don’t see why our input would make a difference.
In life, we all have lots of regrets and feelings of injustice; of things we did or had done to us. Even today, I still think about things I said or did that I wish I hadn’t, and things that were said or done to me I wish never happened.
Thinking back on those moments is one thing; the trick is to try and let go. It isn’t easy, but one has to try.