Whenever my sister (and sometimes her boyfriend) come down. Dad keeps moving my stuff off the bacon table. And because of him touching the stuff we lose stuff. Like over two years ago we lost a Uno deck that Mom had only found a couple of months prior to that because of Dad’s moving my stuff whenever my sis comes the bacon down. So Mom brought and gave me a new Uno deck last Christmas which we put on the bookcase behind what is normally my spot at the table. And we have told Dad, over and over, and over that he is NOT to touch anything but HIS crap on the table and let Mom or I to clear off MY Crap from the table! Bur it always goes in one ear and out the bacon other ear.
I mean one time, sis was visiting (a couple of years before Covid and Dad was making supper) and Dad for some reason, thought that sis was going to be staying for supper (she wasn’t) and had put my books which had been in her area right in the bacon pathway which she would need to walk in to get to what is normally her seat at the table! So I had to move the books to some place ELSE.
I mean the only thing on the bacon table since the last time sis and boyfriend came down ( on the first week of Dec) was: my brush, the spray bottle, my watch I haven’t been using, and a bracelet from the parents’ and my trip to Ireland which I removed for my finally trip to the mall, yesterday and replaced with a bracelet which wasn’t likely to fall off. And when I went downstairs to make my lunch, he STILL had moved all that junk. It’s not like my sister and her boyfriend will be sitting immediacy at the dinning room table!
It drives me crazy. I shouldn’t have to clean my stuff off the table the night before if the guests aren’t going to be here until 3-4 in the AFTERNOON the following day.
Serious question: Would you like some sympathy (it does sound frustrating!), or a possible solution? I’m happy to respond with either one.
just sympathy. It just this been going on since 2013 at least (since that’s when my Dad retired from teaching) and sis been out of the house living else where. And it’s driving me bonkers Dad wouldn’t listen to the fact that Mom and I will clear off the table. Like I want to know where my brush and spray bottle is on Sundays and Wednesday so Mom can do my hair after the shower and when Dad moves stuff I might not be able to find that stuff.
Like I moved the brush and bottle back onto the table (I will move them after Mom does my hair) but I’m keep checking to see if Dad has moved the stuff again because I’m so paranoid of me loosing items because of Dad.
Then this is the same Dad who can’t remember that I dislike the sound of the old canister vacuum cleaner and he had to TWO days in a row, use it when I’m in vicinity of the old vacuum cleaner. First day was on Friday when I’m making supper for the family and also trying to listen to the news on TV and Dad got mad at me for asking him to save it to later. ! And then the next day was yesterday, Saturday, and I was putting glasses on the table (which Mom had cookies on), and he was in the living room and he turned the old vacuum on again
I mean couldn’t he have at least done it when I was UPSTAIRS in the HOUSE LIBRARY? At least that way I could shut the door on the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Something I can’t do if I’m in the kitchen making supper (not real doors between the Kitchen and dinning room but some kind of doors-Louvered doors ) there isn’t even a door way between the dinning room and the living room.
That would drive me crazy too. Especially the part where he doesn’t even ask you to do it, he just clears it off and puts stuff in random places. He might even think he’s doing you a favour by “doing it for you”.
My kitchen table is pretty cluttered most of the time. It’s just so easy to drop my reading or my magic tricks there, so that those things are handy when I want them. It’s actually better than it used to be, when my stuff also covered the counter on top of the dishwasher.
Yeah and because normally my sister visits so infrquently it just was habit to put piles of my books or magazines on the table on and around what is normally her spot at the table. Mom thinks I should just clear off the table the night before because “I know that Dad will go crazy cleaning off the table”. But he could only clean off HIS side of the table and Mom or I can do MY side of the table.
Clearly your dad is not interested in changing what he does.
I don’t know what’s more annoying: clearing it all away early, so that it isn’t handy anymore, or having your dad clear it away, and then you might not get everything back.
replace word bacon with swear words.
that makes more sense. I was wondering why you had a table specifically for bacon. I wasn’t sure if that was more awesome or silly
trying to keep my swearing to a minimum but I do use bacon as an alterative
Like I said this is the same Dad who forgets I hate the old loud canister vacuum. Get pissed off because he has to talk on the phone in the living room to a friend which means I have to shut the door to the library so I’m not part of the conversation. Like seriously, (protagonist’s eldest cousin from the newest Disney movie which came out on American Thanksgiving) could probably hear my Dad all the way down in Columbia. Because of how loud Dad talks on the phone and that’s saying something! And Several years ago I had to tell Dad several times to stay out of my room during the winter (back when I used to open up the curtians every day) because he would close them. And summer of 2020, the one time he opened them, he opened them so wide, that he ended up moving a part of the curtain which is normally tucked into the headboard behind a stuffed animal
Him clearing your stuff is annoying, especially if it then can’t be found. I agree with LeadingZero that it doesn’t sound like your dad is going to change on that front.
Is there any room for a separate place (or to set up a separate place) for you to put your stuff, not on a family-use space like the dining table, so he won’t try to clear it?
Nope, you name, a room, it’s crammed with stuff. both of the two Basement rooms, kitchen, family room, living room, dinning room, main bathroom, bedrooms, sewing room, are all crammed with stuff. Granted the family room has a lot more floor then been seen in awhile (and I’m still mad at him for messing up a carefully made pile I made before the last play-town trip in 2019 with Mom, because I had a specific book at the top of that carefully made pile and Dad put all those books in those pile in a place which until recently, I couldn’t reach with HIS crap in the way!) , Even the back and front halls are crammed with stuff as is the garage. And the two and a half staircases. When he moves books for like Christmas and stuff he doesn’t even bother to try to tell the difference between MY book and his HIS books. Like around Easter I had to go through a pile of MY books in the living room and return a couple of HIS books to him, since they certainly weren’t my books. My sister is similar ‘neat freak’ and I lost the only copy of Gulliver’s Travels I had which I think was on the steps because of her moving my stuff without permission. And because we didn’t have a computer town on the other side of the library room Mom had a pile of books (one of which was my copy of Moby Dick) and put the router and modem on top of it. And the last time sis was here she moved my old computer tower to be the tower to the other screen and now I don’t know if I will be able to find the Moby Dick book again.
Like because my Uncle’s Flea market had to close down this year and we had kept some of my grandparents’ things in storage there, we now has a lot of things from the maternal grandparents’ and some of the things are little light up village houses? And a couple of days ago Dad asked if Mom wanted to set them up and Mom said she was trying to figure out where, and Dad suggested the coffee table in the living room. And both Mom and I had to remind Dad that the coffee table was for Christmas presents and this is something we been doing since 2007.
That sounds really frustrating.
What if you kept a box or basket on the dining table (or anywhere else that might make sense) for your stuff, maybe with a label like “IF YOU MUST MOVE THIS, TAKE IT TO CELOPTRA’S ROOM”? At least that way things would stay together and be clearly labeled as yours and maybe be less likely to get lost.
For what it’s worth, I was thinking the same thing.
I have a bunch of small things that stay on top of the dishwasher counter. It used to be a hassle when I had to move them to clear off more counter space, once or twice a week. But now they are in a small plastic tray, and I can move them out of the way and back again easily, instead of picking up each thing and moving it separately.
I also get what it’s like to have to work around someone else’s clutter. I have a basement full of stuff from when my husband’s father passed away. That was more than 30 years ago now. I don’t dare throw it away, as my husband claims that each and every item—even things that have been in boxes for three decades— has deep personal meaning for him.
Sometimes I fantasize about what I would do with those things once my husband dies. I know that in reality, I probably wouldn’t be able to do anything with them for quite a while.
Sorry for the very late reply. I didn’t have internet from 4ish on Sunday to just now.
My bedroom’s is also crammed full of stuff as well. Books, clothing, etc. Even the little shelving I have in there are both overflowing with books. I did literally mean that every room in the house is packed with stuff-like everywhere
Welcome back to the internet.
If that’s how you like your room to be, that’s cool, and it works well for some people. It would drive me to distracted frustration, though; I hate it when I can’t find things or don’t have a place to put them.
If you like it that way, leave it be and enjoy. If you don’t, though, while there’s not much you can do about the rest of the family’s stuff, you could work on your own room if you want. For instance, maybe there’s clothing or other stuff you haven’t used in years and wouldn’t mind getting rid of, or maybe different shelving or a change in room layout would give you better storage options (we have a big 2x12 bridging two bookshelves and a dresser so we can keep a long, low shelving unit across the top of all that), and there are things like drop-down hanging rods and linking hangers to increase clothes-storage space. When you have enough room to have a place for everything, you could also have room by the door for incoming stuff from other rooms, if that sounds like a good idea.
There’s like no room anywhere and there’s no way to reconfigure the room. The door is on left side and there’s a bit of an indent behind it. beside the doorway there’s a mini bookshelf full of books (there’s even are a couple of books in front) and o ntop of the shelf is a bunch of my old clothing. A a set of drawers are next to it in another indent and due to my difficulties trying to find PJs in the bottom drawer in the past Mom took them all out and put them in a pile at the bottom of the drawers and there’s also my version pads-both the linar ones which I use everyday except on “Aunt Flo” visits and the maxi pads which I use on the Aunt Flo visits. There’s is even clothes on top of the drawers, and on the other side of the drawers is more clothing (junk clothes) and then a bookshelf also full of books and basically opposite the book shelf is by bed, and at the foot and corner of my bed there’s a basket of whom knows what. And next to the bed is an end table and stuff around the end tables are more books, and then the windowsill which underneath has even more books. And then there’s a little TV table I have a fan on and on and around the table there’s even more books, and right next to it is laundry basket. And behind the table & laundry basket (beside more books) are a closet of clothes, most I haven’t wore ever or I haven’t worn since either Gr.8 gradution, or Gr.12 prom.
But my problem is Dad moving my stuff from the table. Like every room in the house is filled with books. You can’t go into one room of the house without almost tripping over a book or two. Ok you wouldn’t trip over any books in the family room, but you could once but there are still books in there. I mean how would he like it if I moved his notebook from its spot in the family room and put it in a place he can’t find it again?
Have you made any progress on moving out?
Nope, and at the moment. I’m still waiting for Mom to do the claim for the computer and she can’t until she checks her email and we were without internet from about 5pm on Sunday evening to 3pm today.