Dad doesn't understand why I don't like the "old way" of doing presents


For years until 2016-I didn’t have a lot of access to my own money despite having an account since I was 12 years old. So for present holidays or people birthdays’ what we would do Mom would-buy-something-and-I would give it to recipient for whatever the event is. This is what I’m going to go the “old way”

But in 2016 when I got more access to my own money (bank card)- for Christmas I was THRILLED to be able to buy my family presents for the FIRST TIME EVER!

Main story:
For Mom’s birthday this year Dad had brought me a card for mom and wanted me to sign it. That really made me angry. Dad doesn’t seem to understand there’s something more special about me buying something on my own (or if I have no time or can’t go out, making a card online) vs doing it the “old way”.

Yesterday after Dad and I did our weekly grocery shopping -Dad and I stopped at “Crappy Tire” and he got a paring knife for Mom which he wants ME to give her. But the thing which annoys me is I had already brought her a Christmas gift back in November-a Calendar. But Dad said “we always give people more then 1 present” but still… he needs to think of other people’s feelings.

Does anyone know how to deal with this for future reference?

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Just go with it and still buy your own gifts, they will learn

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I have been buying gifts for the family for the last 6 years. And twice this year Dad doesn’t seem to understand I don’t like other people buying me stuff or a card to give another person. That’s the old way. I prefer the new way where I can use my OWN money to buy people stuff.

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Suggest that the gift he bought would mean more to the recipient if they knew it came from him rather than from you. If you need to give further explanation, say that you don’t want to take credit for something that you didn’t do: it feels like robbing the gratitude that should be given to the person who really bought it.


Well I will use that for future reference since I already wrapped all the presents for the three family members and my sister’s boyfriend.

Oh speaking of presents my sister’s birthday was earlier this month and because I had been hanging out in the mall with some of my friends… I was able to buy a b-day card for her.

And when she opened it on the Sunday after I brought the card on the Saturday (her b-day wasn’t until Tuesday) when she and boyfriend were visiting she thought it was the cutest card ever.


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