Dad seems to give zero shits about how his actions are going to impact my youngest sister. He’s also looking to move house, because “[girlfriend] won’t let it get to the same state this one got to.” And that’s all well and good for him and all, but I think he’s planning on moving sometime this year. He hasn’t given me an actual date though.
But the new house is too far away from where my sister is going to college. He was talking to the middle one about it and apparently his attitude is just, “Well, she might not finish college and go live with [nice aunt] or something.” Yes my sister has expressed that she would like to live in the same village our nice aunt lives in, but she has also made it very clear that finishing college is important to her! She’s actually putting in real effort so that she can get into the higher level course, and I’m so proud of her, and he just doesn’t care that his own fucking actions are going to ruin that for her.
Middle sister has also been storing some of her old toys in the attic that she wants to pass down to her future children, but he’s telling her that she needs to sort out the attic this summer. With very heavy implications that anything she doesn’t take back to university to store in her own room is going to be thrown away. She might be able to negotiate paying him storage space, which I have not suggested to her yet, but she shouldn’t have to do that!
He tried to talk to me last night about what’s happening to me if he moves out before I’ve found somewhere. I wasn’t being really responsive (yet again he’d cornered me in the kitchen while I’m cooking and therefore can’t leave) because I was doing my best to not freak out like I did when my sister mentioned that morning what he’d said his plans were. Which was that if i moved into his new house then the rules would be a lot stricter and I wouldn’t like it. He mentioned that as an option to me for if I haven’t found a house but didn’t mention the stricter rules thing. He also suggested going to his current housing association and asking them to find me a one bedroom flat. I get that contingency plans are important and all, but I was not impressed with the conversation.
I told him I was trying to find a house and move before he does so that wouldn’t be a problem, and he said that he was also working on getting a house. And he asked me if I wanted him to put his life on hold until I get a house. At the time last night I said “no, of course not” but thinking about it with what my middle sister’s told me today, I do want him to put his life on hold. Not necessarily until I find a house, but for two years so my sisters can finish their college and university.
He also tried to help me look for houses, saying that I don’t have to everything on my own. But he was looking where we live now, where the one bedroom flats are only just in my budget. I tried pointing out, as I have before, that I have a greyhound and she needs a garden. He told me that I’d just have to put her lead on everytime she wants out, and while it wouldn’t be ideal it is a good compromise. But if I move away from where we currently live, I could get a house with a garden within my budget.
I did actually finally get around to requesting a house viewing. Had a panic attack after I sent the message and asked middle sister to come with me as moral support, but that fell through since the sellers already had a buyer. Which is progress since it’s further than I’d gotten before, but now that there’s a vague time limit I’m getting panicky again because my “progress” is so fricking slow. And even if I do manage to move out before my dad and his girlfriend buy a house, it doesn’t solve the issues either of my sisters have.
I get that my dad is gettign really annoyed with me and is trying to encourage me to actually move out in his own tough love kind of way, but it’s no excuse for how little he cares about the impact on my sisters. I know he’s all upset and all that he’s missed out on life opportunites thanks to raising us. But he’s still a parent and as selfish as it may be I still think that should come before he gets to move on with his life. He has one more year until the little one turns 18, and while I won’t be too impressed with him for refusing her the help she needs at that time, I’m fuming at the thought that he’s planning on fucking her life over while she’s still techinically a child!
ARRGHGHAHRGAHHAHGHARHARGHHRG
” and that if know if she did have an issue.