Last Tuesday my Dad had an operation. So his right wrist wouldn’t be normal for awhile. Last Friday I helped him with Grocery shopping. Mom and I went to the mall today-and just as I was getting myself a drink (I’m really dehydrated since all I had today was OJ and Pop)-Dad drops the bombshell on me that he was expecting me to help him again with grocery shopping this week. Which kind of screws up my plans to sleep in and be stinky* on Friday since I’ll be going to the mall again on Saturday with friends. And when I talked to Mom after Dad dropped the bombshell on me she said, “it will be a month before Dad’s wrist will be back to normal.” I mean could he have at least mention he was going to expect me to help him grocery shop for at least a month last Friday?
- Stinky-my traditional week is that Sunday & Wednesdays are my hair shower days. The rest of the week expect for Saturdays are my “body shower” days. Saturday is my stinky day aka the day i don’t shower
Yes, you’re being unreasonable. It’ll take you an hour to two at most, and you’ve gotten notice. You’re an adult and he’s not asking too much, you can give him a hand with the shopping.
Ok did you miss the fact, I didn’t get advanced notice? Like I COULD have been told this last Friday after Last Week’s grocery shopping? Instead of being told today almost half-way through the week? Since my plans are already weird as it is because of me going to the mall again on Saturday- then to be dropped a bombshell today- that I’m expecting to have to help Dad again? Since going grocery shopping with Dad means getting up at 8:30am and on Fridays I normally get up at 10:30am. Then on Saturday get up at 10am and leave at 10:30am…
It’s not Friday. You’re getting three days notice. That qualifies to most people. And you’re not doing anything Friday, you can do this for a month or so.
If you really don’t want to get up that early, ask your dad to go shopping later. You’re helping him, he can accomodate your schedule.
Ok this is NOT advanced day notice… it’s Tuesday and I COULD have been told LAST FRIDAY when I went to help Dad with GROCERY SHOPPING the first time I went helping him with the GROCERY SHOPPING. If I had been told LAST FRIDAY, I wouldn’t have MADE A PLAN to be STINKY/SLEEPING IN THIS FRIDAY because of my Saturday’s mall thing with friends.
But because I didn’t know until I got home TODAY about that plan AGAIN (helping Dad with the grocery shopping) I had made a plan to be stinky/sleeping in on THIS Friday. Had I been told LAST Friday, I wouldn’t have made the plan to be stinky/sleeping in THIS Friday.
Sometimes plans have to change. You’re in your thirties, you should be able to accept going grocery shopping on your day off even if it’s not the ideal situation. You asked if you were being unreasonable and I gave you an answer, if you just want to complain there’s another forum for that.
@Callyn I gave up trying to reason with this member. It’s obvious that they have no interest in being involved in reasoned debate. Once again, an echo chamber is desired and, once again, an echo chamber has not appeared.
@CJR You’re not wrong, but if she never gets pushback she’ll never grow up. She’s not intentionally difficult (unlike some NAR commenters) and I know I’m just a random internet person, but maybe something will get through eventually.
I can’t help being routine oriented and my routine is already being disrupted by helping my Father last Friday with grocery shopping and my Saturday plans with some friends meeting at the mall again. Had Dad told me something like “Hey just so you know, I will need your help for a month?” last Friday Because if I had known that -my brain wouldn’t have made plans to sleep in this Friday because of my Saturday plans.
Well at least I can pretend it’s experience for when I had kids because I wouldn’t be getting much sleeping in then?/s
Sorry but I disagree. You have more than suitable notice so I am just going to say this once.
YOU ARE THIRTY YEARS OLD. GROW UP YOU LITTLE BRAT.
you do know you don’t have to be looking at my bacon messages you know if you hate me that much? Just because I’m 31 years old doesn’t mean I’m a brat it just I’m routine oriented and if stuff distrubs my routine without more then a couple of days notice it throws me off espically if I might have other plans for that week not on the same day though!
Like since I have plans for Saturday to go to the mall AGAIN… my plan was to Sleeping in on the Friday and usually that’s my back-up sleeping in day for Saturday plans . But because of having to help my Father on Friday as well as the mall again on the Saturday, It means my sleeping in day isn’t until Sunday (as is my “not showering” day) and Sunday is the bacon day that I would normally change my clothes for the week.
But I would have liked something like “Oh hey, just so you know I might need your help for a month with the grocery shopping” last Friday so my brain didn’t make a plan to sleep in THIS Friday because of my Saturday plans I only found out because I was telling Dad while getting my drink about how EB Games (Now GameStop I guess everywhere)-didn’t have Steam cards at the moment and how (grocery store we went to last Friday) and he was like “Oh maybe when we’re at (grocery store) again this Friday if we need to go there we could look?” and I was like having an “oh crap … Dad’s expecting me to help him again?”
I guess I can just pretend it’s exercise for when I’m have kids /s And I can sleep in on the other days of the winter holidays
I’ve gotten calls at 1 AM to be in to work at 3 AM on days when I was planning to sleep till 5 AM. While doing the nightshift like that, my brother sliced his hand open at 7:30 PM and I had to wake up and take him to the ER, then wait for him to get his hand stitched up, then get like two hours of sleep before work. Sometimes it happens, it’s part of being an adult. And I say this as someone who likes their routine. You can either help out or you can continue to be the child that he knows you to be. He’ll never treat you like an adult if you refuse to act like one.
Yeah and he knew that I had plans for this Saturday. (er he might have known not, know that I think of it…because Mom didn’t understand til I explained it when we’re at the mall) But I have to go rather I want to or not with Dad grocery shopping for a month.
But Like I have already said… I could have had been told "Oh hey, just so you know. I will need your help for a month with the grocery shopping " last Friday. So my brain didn’t make it’s usually “back-up plan because of Saturday plans”. Because my not being told until today-my brain had made up it’s plan for the usually “back up sleeping in plan” (ie: sleeping in on Friday) so my brain has to switch into Gear C (Sleeping in on the Sunday) when my brain was in Gear B (Sleeping in on Friday) . Gear A would be normally sleeping in Day of Saturday
To put it quite simply, I don’t hate you. I hate the behaviour. Anybody who complains and refuses to do anything about it exhibits behaviour patterns that I personally find contemptible. I do think that it’s worthy to advise others to not waste their time.
After all, I was talking to Callyn. Not you.
you still commented on my thread…
You do not own the forum, to my knowledge. You can create whatever threads you like but as a fellow member I can comment on any of them however I please and communicating with who I wish. Barring, of course, offensive behaviour, spam, etc.
I didn’t say I own the forum. But this is my thread. Just because you aren’t routine oriented doesn’t mean everyone else. For some people, its harder then others when there’s routine gets disturbed and I’m one of those ones whom unfortunately do have more trouble with routines being disturbed.
Let’s say my brain is a factory. Three of the gears are about sleeping in day (Yeah I can sleep in tomorrow and Thursday). Gear A is the normally Saturday sleeping in day. Gear B is the backup plan of Friday for Saturday plans Gear C is the back-up, back up plan of Sunday. Two of the gears are about the day I change clothes for that particular week Sunday is Gear BA, while Monday is Gear BB.
Because of my Saturday plans and not being told until today about having to help Dad again… my brain had shifted into “Gear B”. But now that I have been told my brain has to now shift to Gear C and it could have shifted into Gear C a lot sooner had I known before today about needing to help Dad again on Friday. Which means I have to shift the other gear of BA into Gear BB.
Sure some people can handle that “shifting gears” very well of their routines but I’m one of the ones who unfortunately can’t do that easy.
At least I’m not being told on Thursday then I would be really pissed off.
update: Dad and I are doing the shopping on Thursdays which means my brain can go back into gear B mode.
Oh and I can think it’s my strength exercised for the week
So you talked to your father and came to a solution that worked for both of you? Good, glad to hear it. Keep talking to him like that.