I had one of my two hair shower days this morning. I can wash my hair but I just can’t braid it (fine motor skills). So I need a parent or someone to do it for me. While after I did my chores of emptying the dishwasher and putting flatware on the table-I went and told my Mom I would go upstairs to grab an elastic for my hair and when I got back downstairs, we could do my hair. She said okay. But what pissed me off is the fact when I returned after grabbing the elastic -Mom was doing something on the Dad’s bacon notebook. I mean she knew I was going to be RIGHT BACK DOWN THERE!!! But she claims “we didn’t know how long you would be!” So I got pissed off at her and yelled and stormed off but had to storm back downstairs to make a drink for myself and I was slamming everything the fridge door, the water bottle, etc. She finally gave the notebook back to Dad temporary, so she could do my hair. And my mom thinks the electric braider thing only does a “twisty” thing and doesn’t actually braid. And since I have no way of buying one for myself (I’m not even able to use my own bank card to buy Sim games online) Yeah I’m a spoiled brat… but the way my parents raised me by NOT parenting me until I was an adult?
There aren’t really any rules in this house. The only rules were for me in normal times. Mostly “couldn’t go into provincial capital alone” and “I couldn’t be in a doctor’s office on my own”. When I was a child, my parents did try to teach me independence, but for some reason, at the time I didn’t want to know that stuff so I would have temper tantrums for something as minor as setting the table or doing the dishwasher. After one too many TTs my parents just gave up on me (and now, as an adult, they’re trying to parent me like they should have?!) so the only person who actually “parented” me is my only sibling, my 71/2 older sister. (I have no idea why else I obey her when she tells me something like “go sit on the stairs” for a time out like in 2006 Baked Potato incident). I am trying to have a better relationship with her but it’s kind of hard especially with my self and parent diagnosed autism. And then there’s the huge list of problems with my Dad which for some reason I just can’t let go off (several of them are on here).
I don’t really have any problems with my Mom except for her finding excuses to NOT do stuff or “pushing back” stuff. Or when we’re able to go to (Provincial Capital), in recent years (before Covid, like Feb 2019- the day before I blew up at her for her wanting me to make another fruit bowl after doing it from Sunday Night-Friday night) she made me walk (in my Frakenboots!) from Main Train station, to the Art Museum and since she wasn’t telling me, where we’re going (it was a “pudding” aka an Adventure)- I was complaining the entire way there (22 min walk) and at some point, she yelled at me for complaining even said “if you don’t shut up, we will turn around and go home and never come into (City) again!” and she knows how crazy I go if I’m stuck in (my region) towns for a long period of time. It’s not the first time, she has said something like that she always says stuff like that when I’m acting like a child. Some of my other problems with my mom is that despite her teaching me to cut one of my medications in half in 2012 (she was going to be away for part of May and all of June in East Asia) but until 2021, I hadn’t had any practice in cutting the meds in a long time. But she INSISTS on supervising me doing it because she “doesn’t want me to do it badly” because she litereally yelled at me for doing it on my own the other month because I needed my night half of (med) and she and Dad were watching PBS show, called “The Indian Doctor” and I didn’t want to bother her. And she insists on supervising me if I don’t give her permission to phone the drugstore at nighttime to renew a prescription of me with just the number pad on the phone. And she says living with me and with my sister (who moved out ages ago) is like “needing to tiptoe on eggshells because we never know when Mount Vesuvius might explode”. Personally in the 2019 incident, I think I only threw a fit about the fruit on the Sunday night was because I had done it Sunday-Friday nights, and was going to also have to do it that Sunday night as well, so is it any wonder why I didn’t want to do it in the middle of the day as well? Oh and I think it was 2018- when Mom had a sprained arm, I tried to clip one of my toe nails on my own, and when I showed, Mom she yelled at me for it! And she also yelled at me for trying to change my own bed (I had accidently took my sister’s bedsheets stuff-but how was I suppose to know whose bed stuff is whose, when I never changed the bed before?). Oh and I have bathroom problems a lot (much less then I used too) so I sometimes have to have a parent fix the toilet, because ever since 2004, I was scared to fix the toilet after my Dad accused me of causing the toilet to flood (something he has only recently appolgized for). I did my bathroom business and I did the parents’ job and then flushed it -I then told mom, and when I said something, about it being “bigger” she got grumpy at me for doing that. I mean I’m trying to be an adult here!
And speaking of “Mount Vesuvius” exploding, I been bugging Mom of letting me helping her (like I’m getting to the point, where I need to make “coupons”, on the computer of “One free laundry service either for clothing or for towels by (my name) without a Mount Vesuvius” or “one free fruit making service by (My name) for one day without a Mount Vesuvius”, or “one free non-Friday cooking day by (my name) without a without a Mount Vesuvius”) I mean I haven’t had any practice, doing the actually “put detergent in the washing machine” since 2018 but Mom was technically supervising then and she needed help because of her bad hand, I wasn’t doing it on my own -like I was sort of in 2007 (Mom couldn’t do it with her bad leg at the time, and my sister was out) and in 2012 when she was gone the entire summer mostly, first in East Asia, and then where her parents lived. All I need is another pair of written instructions like she gave me in 2007 and 2012 because between 2012-2018 she has changed rules again of how to do stuff. But she like her Mom “prefers to do everything herself” and she also “doesn’t know if I might have an explosion”. Sure the only thing I would probably need help with is sorting the clothes since some colours look too similar to one enough. Like I have what Mom says is a light pink PJ set, but to me, it looks as white, as this forum.
And My mom yelled at me once in 2014, when I was having some kind of unusually period, problem and I was trying to make an appointment with our (Mom/my) then-family doctor.
But on the other hand, she’s impressed on three (maybe four?) different occasions of my coping.
First thing was in October 2012, I was left home alone for two nights. What I DID know was that on the Sunday they’re coming home-they’re stopping at where the grandparents had been moved too. I don’t recall what time it was but I started getting a bit worried since (TV show we watched) was going to be on that night. So I remembered the name of the Living area where the grandparents were at, and called and asked to be connected to (grandparent’s first names & last name room) and Mom said when she answered the phone in grandparents’ room, that they will be leaving soon.
Another time was my first wisdom teeth were hutting me badly, and despite the fact I was in high pain the parents didn’t want to deal with taking me to the dentist. So on the one Wednesday, after I once again, complained to Mom about the pain, she left for work and I looked up the number for the dentist’s office, and called them and they said, they would fit me in and they did.
Another time, is that at (play-town), Mom and I were going to do a backstage tour again (we were suppose to do it w/ Dad, but he wasn’t feeling too well)-and I asked what time the next day’s backstage tour was and mom was impressed with me doing that.
And Mom was impressed how I coped in somewhere in late 2013, when we came home from (city) since we had been in to see the off-Broadway Disney Aladdin show (it hadn’t gone to Broadway yet)-and it took us forever to get home because of the ice on the ground. On any other trip into city, on the way back home in our town, every return home Mom would praise me for the 2013 trip home
There was one time, I could actually act like an adult in regards to Dad’s childish behaviour and even though she didn’t say anything but I think she appreciates me not screaming back (even though she wasn’t home at time). That Dad had demanded I make a salad for whatever he was making that day- for supper. So I was at that point, my way of making a salad was step 1)take lettuce off the heart, Step 2: wash the lettuce, Step 3), tear the lettuce and put it in the bowl and Step 4)cut up veggies. I was dealing with step 1 and putting the lettuce on the counter next to the sink and Dad stormed in and starting screeching at me about “DON’T PUT IT THERE, IT’S A FILTHY SINK NEXT TO A FILTHY COUNTER!” I said something along the lines of “Mom does it.” And then he tried to claim that my Maternal grandma got sick from lettuce (she didn’t). And then to end it off, he throw the “Filthy” lettuce across the little workspace of the “filthy” counter I had in the kitchen. I just ignored him, and I took my anger out at the veggies instead. (I mean exactly where else was I’m going to put the lettuce, when they’re going to be washed as soon as I was done taking them off the heart? on the Flithy stove instead?)
The first month and half of 2021, I had to go in cycles with my parents of getting me a pysch assessment for Development Services and I kept hitting the brick wall of “Why do you need a pysch assessment that for mental health things, not your problems” and “we should look into other supports for you” so I kept having to repeat 1)it’s more then just mentally and 2) All other supports just lead back to (Development Services) which is why the Pysch assessment was for. I got sick of the parents doing nothing, so I ended up arranging the pysch appointment with just one phone call, when my parents were out in late Feb 2021.
So now I’m on (Development Services) and I’m on Passport program and I got a new computer in late October. But as of the 1st of January, my Parents still haven’t filled out and submitted the blasted Reimbursement Form and it’s due by March. And I can’t pressure them until the end of the month. If I was my own Funding Manager I would have got it done back in NOVEMEMBER.
I am currently trying to write out a House Plan about what I want to live in. But’s kind of complicated due to the fact there are some skills I don’t know how to do.
Sorry for this long rant!