Am I self centred for wanting kids despite knowning I will be a a not very good parent?

I have always wanted children . I had hoped by this point in my life-I would have been married and have three children. I know I probably wouldn’t be a good parent. But I want to be able to continue the family line-I want to tell my kids, and my grandchildren stories about their ancestors (like Dad’s Dad’s mom’s ancestor came over on a famous Pilgrim ship or one of my great-grandparents on my Dad’s side meet a future gangster in WWI trenches). Except for two males cousins on both sides-who don’t have partners as far as we know-both lines will die out with the the women. I mean there are other (last name and las name but they are not MY family at the best they’re very, very, very distant cousins ) Some people think I’m self-centred on wanting to have kids. So am I self-centred for wanting children?

You’re not self-centred for solely wanting children.


The desire for children is a biological urge. It’s preprogrammed into pretty much every living thing (or at least, every animal). The familial parts–wanting your family line to continue, wanting to tell stories about your ancestors–are a part of this, believe it or not. You can hardly call yourself self-centered for something programmed into you by 4 billion years of evolution.

I’m also of the opinion that those who know their shortcomings are less likely to be bad parents than those who believe they are infallible.


I agree with you - even if one hasn’t found a partner one can grow into the role of parent.

My dentist used to have a sign on his ceiling That said “no man knows what he truly believes until he begins to teach his children”.
The process of being a parent changes one