One of my best friends works in a nice restaurant at the front of house, where he manages the waiters, bussers, and basically anyone who has any interaction with the customers.
The kitchen staff are all women who have escaped difficult situations, such as arranged marriages, abusive families, and other horror stories. They all report directly to the owner, who has made headlines as a woman who supports these victims and gives them jobs in her kitchen. She also advertises the restaurant as high-end, and so it comes with a level of expectation with regards to the food and the service.
Every night my friend has one complaint or another that these women are finding ways to provide sub-standard food, and slow or lazy service. He has often tried to tell them (calmly) what the expectations are for a high-end restaurant in a large cosmopolitan city, but whenever he does so they claim that a man telling them what to do is “triggering” and will go straight to the owner to complain. The owner will then come down hard on my friend, claiming he needs to have sympathy for their past trauma.
At first, he was sympathetic but now he’s torn between thinking they shouldn’t be advertising and pricing the restaurant as high-end if the kitchen staff’s past trauma can’t handle the pace, or maybe the women are using their past trauma to get sympathy and excuse their lazy behavior. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, and doesn’t want to be unreasonable, so he’s asked my advice.
So now I am asking you, help me to help him! What do you think he should do?
& AIBU to have no sympathy for people who have been victims?