AIBU for feeling slighted?

Ok so Saturday was my birthday party. I mentioned how my brother and his wife and their kids went to Disney World. He brought the drinks for my party which was not just for my benefit but for everyone’s. In my opinion it was to help my parents out. They brought me a bouquet of flowers. That is it. No gift per se just two cards one from the girls and one from them. Am I wrong for feeling these people who just spent tens of thousands of dollars on a trip could have gotten me a gift? You only turn 50 once.


Not at all.

My birthday is coming up soon, and the only person who will celebrate it honestly is my (twin lol) sister. Everyone else will only extend wishes because Facebook reminded them.

I honestly gave up celebrating my birthday years ago.


The thing is they were at my party. It was so ridiculous. I’m so sorry about your birthday. Happy birthday in advance.

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birthday hugs


Thank you. You too.


You arent unreasonable for feeling slighted. Sounds like you and your brother have different perspectives on birthdays.

Personally Id rather my sibling spend the money on my neices and/or nephews than on me. A cheap gift would just be something I dont need that takes up space in an already full house. And a gift that was expensive/big enough to actually improve my life is something I would want to be involved in choosing. So I always tell people not to get me anything. Just show up, maybe buy a round or something but not physical gifts.


When I turned 30 I decided to have a big party and my parents essentially paid for the venue, the DJ and food as their gift to me and I was delighted by that. When you say your brother brought the drinks, what are we talking about? Did they buy hundreds of dollars worth of drink or just turn up with some six-packs or whatever?


We don’t have any kids ourselves. So he doesn’t have any nieces or nephews on our side.

They brought wine, beer and soda. But we only had 27 people there and no not hundreds of dollars. It’s just my husband and I have so much less than they do and we never fail to do gifts.

I’m looking at this from a Scottish perspective so booze and soft drinks (mixers) for a party of 27 over here could easily rack up a bill well in the region of a couple of hundred pounds.

I’m not saying you’re wrong and I know that not everybody likes practical gifts (particularly not for milestone birthdays) but equally I can totally understand their perspective that supplying the party was gift enough. Dependent on the age of the kids though I think it would have been reasonable to expect a small gift as a token of their affection too though.


I was refering to spending money on his own kids (your neices and/or nephew). Again personal feeling and you feeling different is perfectly valid.

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Gotcha. Sorry I misunderstood.

As far as a small gift is concerned, it can depend on whether it’s something you’d actually use or if it’s just clutter.

For my birthday recently, my sister gave me a keyring. It was something I needed, though she didn’t actually know that, and I happen to love the one she chose for me. I genuinely don’t mind that the gift was only something small and inexpensive. It was the thought that counted, and I smile every time I use my keys and see it.

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