I bought a dress for my four-year-old daughter. It has pockets. All other “pockets” her clothes have had were just sewn on for aesthetics, so this is the first time she’s ever seen functional pockets.

Daughter: *Peeking into the pockets* “Mom, what’s this?”

Me: “Those are pockets. You put stuff in them.”

She looks at me like I just said something ridiculous.

Daughter: “…like candy?”

Me: “Sure.”

I grab a piece of candy that happens to be nearby and drop it into her pocket. She looks into the pocket and sees the candy sitting comfortably inside.

HER FACE LIGHTS UP! This is a mind-blowing discovery.

Daughter: *Excitedly* “And toys?”

Me: “Yes. Anything small you can put in there.”

She ran into the toy room and grabbed random things to stuff into her pockets. She came out after a couple of minutes with a triumphant smile on her face, pockets bulging with a bunch of cars and Pokemon.

Since then, every time she gets dressed, she asks, “Is there pockets?”

I have just started teaching a new class of kids on the first day of school. Most of them don’t have their own phones, but one of them is going around the classroom with an older smartphone and taking photos of the walls before class starts.

Me: “Hey, [Kid]! What are you doing?”

Kid: “My dad asked me to take photos of everything in all my classrooms. He wants to check that there isn’t anything that supports the libel agenda.”

Me: “The libel agenda?”

Kid: “Something like that. Something about snow.”

Me: “The liberal agenda? Snowflakes?”

Kid: “Yeah… that! I don’t know why my dad hates snow so much. I mean… we live in Colorado.”

On the side, I moderate a forum where we try to help customers who have been scammed. A big chunk of the issues are people who get scammed when trying to buy things on unsecured online websites.

This customer comes to us complaining that they were scammed into buying TV stands instead of TVs.

It is quite a classic scam; you show a picture of the stand with a TV on it, list a price that is very interesting for a TV (but less so for a stand), and let the customer draw their own conclusion. And when done correctly, it’s 100% legal.

Then, this customer transfers us the offers.

Offer: “TV Stand. Stand for a TV. Only the stand. Sold without TV; only the stand will be sent. Stand only. €49.”

The most eagle-eyed of you should have noticed a plural when talking about the offers. Yep, this guy bought three stands and was not very happy with us when we told him there was no scam at all.

Early one morning on a city sidewalk, I was approached by a stranger.

Man: “Excuse me. Could you spare a dollar?”

I pulled out my wallet and handed him a dollar.

Man: “Thank you. The dollar helps, but two dollars would help more.”

I pulled another dollar from my wallet and handed it to him.

Man: *Holding back a smile* “Thanks. Two dollars really helps, but with three dollars, I could get breakfast at that restaurant.” *Waves a hand down the street*

Giving him a sceptical look, I pulled a third dollar from my wallet and gave it to him.

Man: *Barely holding back laughter* “Thanks, but if you give me a five, I’ll give you three dollars back, and it only costs you two dollars!”

Me: *Laughing* “Be glad for the three dollars I gave you!” *Stuffs my wallet back into my pocket*

Back in February 2010, I was working for a small company. All of us were in the large open office when the owner made an announcement.

Owner: “This is my new PA, Marisol.”

Marisol was Latina. Everyone gave her a smile and a wave except for one coworker.

Coworker: “She’d make a great maid. I’ll bet she’d keep things spick and span.”

Owner: “[Coworker], you’re fired.”

Coworker: “What the f***?”

Owner: “Did I f****** stutter? Leave right the f*** now.”

Coworker: “Why? For telling the truth?”

Owner: “[Coworker], you have exactly ten seconds to get your a** out the door before I call the police. One… two… three…”

[Coworker] stormed off, kicking a wall en route and slamming the door behind him as the owner reached “nine”.

Owner: “Anyone else have any dumb remarks?”

There was silence from us all.

Owner: “Get to work. I’ll have a replacement for [Coworker] by the end of the week.”

The owner was as good as his word. He had a replacement for [Coworker] within two days — a Hispanic man who proved to be the hardest-working guy on our team.

Marisol proved to be an incredibly organized, efficient PA for the rest of my tenure there before I got hired away by a larger company in 2015.