AIBU - customer service/security

This is a major annoyance of mine and I would love to just be blunt and tell people they sound like scam artists.

People will call and say that a relative is dead and want all kinds of information on their insurance policies, as well as cancelling and changing the name so checks are mailed back to the caller.

I say that I can’t release information, not even if a policy exists, I can’t change anything, certainly can’t cancel. I need a death certificate and legal paperwork proving legally appointed executor/administrator. I am as gentle as I can be because I’ve lost family members but there are some laws involved.

Half the time, unleash the emotional banshee. I’m a horrible person for putting up these roadblocks.

The person might not be dead, it might be a vengeful ex with an axe to grind. Sucks to get into a car accident and find you don’t have insurance because someone took your ex-spouse’s word that you are dead. Or the word of the sister that always hated you. Or your landlord, eager to get you out and willing to pose as your non-existent brother.

The person might be dead but the wrong person is calling. Sucks if your responsible daughter is tasked with your final affairs, but your drug-addicted son beat her to the insurance company and had the refunds mailed to him.

But instead I’m the bad guy because I have to protect a person’s confidential information until it is proven they really are dead and I’m talking to the right person.

Am I being unreasonable because I think people should think “am I acting like a scammer?” when demanding personal information and someone’s money?


I appreciate that grief makes you behave differently, but i can’t help but wonder if there are some who scream and shout to get their own way do so because they’ve succeeded in the past with spineless managers.

Nope, you’re not being unreasonable. You’re following a sensible policy to prevent people from breaking the law.


No, you’re not being unreasonable. I appreciate that you take guarding your customers’ information seriously, for all of the reasons you stated. After my dad died, I made sure I had copies of his death certificate to settle his affairs (my mom had already passed away, therefore leaving me as the executor for Dad’s estate), you know, like a reasonable grown-up. I get that grief manifests itself in different ways with different people, so maybe some of those people are normally reasonable, but you are definitely not unreasonable.

(And in re-reading what I wrote, I feel like I used the words “reasonable” and “unreasonable” far too often, but I don’t feel like trying to reword the whole thing now. lol)


Nope. I’m currently going through every piece of personal data because it’s been hacked. Including my photo ID. I’m now freaking out. They have everything they need to steal my identity.

Good for you for protecting sensitive information, and boo to anyone who wants to make it easier. The minute it gets easier is the minute they’ll get their IDs stolen and will be blaming you for not protecting it.

Which is definitely what happened in my case, the organisation screwed up their security protocols. So no, you’re doing the right thing.


And I just found out my ID never expires, can’t be cancelled and even the agency who provides it - a government one - can only put a note on my file. If I want it reported as stolen, I have to contact the cops.

All I had to do to get the note put on my file was to give the details that were on my ID over the phone. You know, the one that was stolen? :flushed:

So no, definitely absolutely 10000% you are being the reasonable one here.


If it’s part of your job to safeguard customer information, then no, you’re not being unreasonable to say ‘regulations state I need X, Y, and Z before I can release that.’


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