AIBU about Dad's stuff infront of my Pop shelf?

Tbh, you say you drink one can/week. So, once a week you have to ask someone to help you retrieve one.

To me, it sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.


I don’t want to have to ASK for help. I want to get it on my OWN. Is it not that difficult to make sure my pop shelf ACCESSIBLE to me? I literally had to ask Mom the other week to buy some kind of “eye stuff” which I can use for my eyes (not the night eye stuff, other stuff) which is accessible for me to use because the other “eye stuff” of Dad’s I need help with (also with the night eye stuff) and Dad doesn’t really like touching my eyes–is it wrong for me to ask to make stuff accessible for me?

Wether it’s a electric can opener, day eye stuff, or not having jumbo boxes of cereal blocking my reach of my pop? The other week, I had a complete fit with Mom because she “pre-cut” some cheese for me since I was “Cutting cheese pieces too big” but the problem is the bacon brand of Armstrong cheese breaks way too easily if you cut them thinner and Mom and I had a “cow” over it. It’s like she took away something which made me feel “Grown-up”.

PS I don’t drink the whole can-I only did that once. I put a bunch of it into a mug or into the slushee cup if I’m using it-and give whatever remains to my Mom. The only time I did drink an entire can of pop was the first and only time I was home alone overnight and that was in 2012. So I had noone to “share” it with.

This is at the heart of your issue I think.

You want to be able to put things where you want without having to move other people’s stuff out of the way.
You want to be able to control how you do things like store and prepare your food.
Those are reasonable and valid desires.
Unfortunately it might not be possible to have full control of yourself and not deal with other people’s stuff unless you move out.

Dad has 6 smaller normal size cereal boxes onto of the storage containers without them blocking my ability to get to the shelf. Its when he puts a jumbo box of cereal or a green basket or a old ice chest then it’s becomes a problem.

I have little control over my life as it is… so I need to be able to control something and my pop shelf and the cheese are the few things I CAN control but in order to control it Dad needs to stop blocking my pop shelf! It’s getting annoying as him talking in my ear when we watch something like Murdoch Mysteries on TV.

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I know that this topic is 11 days old but the main problem seems to be about feeling like an adult. Whether you’re 13 or 33 (and even if you own your own home) there will always be some kind of power dynamic where you’re subsurvient in some way.

However, there is an adult way for you to handle this. Boycott the pop. If you only drink one can a week, it can’t be bringing you that much joy. Make it someone else’s issue and, if questioned, claim dental hygiene reasons. It’s a lot harder to refute something that’s good for your health.

except I’m the only one who drinks the pop. It’s for MY enjoyment. Even if I only get to have it on Friday. So t’s my problem. There’s a reason I call it MY pop shelf. The only time my parents drink pop is if we have one of Mom’s “cast parties” after her one-woman plays. And we haven’t had that since May 2019. Due to Covid

Sadly with parents, especially when living in the family home, it’s not easy to bring up issues. The only time I argued back (and used a well-weighted argument of logic and reason) mother ended up in tears and I was the bad guy despite being right. At this point your options are:

Status Quo: Current situation where you’re unhappy.
Boycott: If pop gives you joy then you don’t want this.
Move the pop: It’s only 16 cans. Personally I would make room for them in your room. Plus then it’s YOUR pop and when events start happening, your mother will find it hard to just take one.
Long-term strategy: Convince parents of the dangers via rodents to the cereal etc. as detailed by another poster.

Sadly I can’t think of a fifth option.

option 3 isn’t an option: since 1)there’s no room in my bedroom. And I have four cases of pop. Cola, Lemonade, orange, and Ginger-ale.

Option 4: I should mention that for Mom’s “cast parties” 1)they don’t take place at home and 2)Dad buys “mini” or smaller pop cans for those events and bring them to the church for the “cast party”. And guess who ends up drinking the leftovers for awhile? I do.

Ok I might have to rephrase what I said about Mom drinking Pop. She drinks whatever remains in the can after I put the pop for my “snack day”-into either a mug or a make-your-own-slushee cup. Since the only time I can drink an whole normal size can is if I’m home alone overnight which has only happened once so far in my life.

You’re not being unreasonable in thinking this way but there are limited ways to solve the issue. Apart from making there be space in your room for the pop, or finding another part of the house for it, there’s not really anything else we can suggest that would make you feel like an adult.

The childish, petty route could work. Target your father and ask him in a whiny way for a can every week and say that you would get it yourself but there’s a mountain of cereal blocking your path.

You could also play mountain goat and “accidentally” damage items in the way of your shelf.

However, honest communication and learning to ask for help is a very adult thing to do.

I already damaged one of Dad’s cereal boxes (the box which caused the problem in the first place-last week) due to the fact I was trying to open it to see if we have more crackers as favour to Mom and the one box kind of tumbled off the lid of it. Mom had to take the containers off one by one and until she found one with a box of crackers in it.

But the only space for my pop is on that shelf in the basement… And I don’t want to have help from ANYONE getting my own pop. Dad already has fits about him having to search for TV dinners or ice cream in the freezers. Like he had a cow the other week when I wanted to have a slushee with my drink. Which I made sure the parents knew in advance
My sister gave me a slushee cup from Zoko’s and I can use it for drinks like slushee and the slushee part of the cup, was in the freezer hiding after some months and Mom couldn’t find it. So Dad had to find it.

But Dad said after I talked to him I can move his junk from in front of the pop shelf. And last week he didn’t put anything infront of the pop shelf

update: it’s worse today then 11 days ago. It was bad enough that Dad has to have not-even-open-yet-boxes of cereal in front of my pop shelf- but now he added two OPEN jumbo boxes of his **** cereal so my pop is full inaccessible to me unless I throw everything blocking the shelf to whom knows where.

well, you said he gave you permission to move his stuff, so I say move his stuff. heck, if you want to be petty with it, move his stuff so it’s behind your stuff.

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can’t move his stuff to behind my-stuff there’s barley any room for my stuff on the shelf -with one side being a coffeepot still in a box and on the other side some bottles of spices(?).