AIBU about Dad's stuff infront of my Pop shelf?

In our basement I have one shelf (2nd to top) shelf of pop. I have pop only once a week (Fridays). While almost week to almost every two weeks… I will go down to maybe do an errand for Mom (like bringing strawberries up) and I found that once AGAIN my pop shelf is blocked from my reach due to Dad’s crap. Most of the time it’s his cereal boxes but last week it was the old Ice chest I have tried to be passive- aggressive by throwing whatever the object is blocking my view onto the bunch of crap on the other side of the same basement area. And he STILL blocks my access of the pop and I don’t want to ask for help to get my OWN pop from my POP Shelf . Like Thursday I went downstairs and a big box of Shreddies cereal was blocking my pop from me. So I tossed it onto the pile in front of the OTHER shelves down there on the opposite side. Not the cereal boxes are on top of one big storage container which is on top of a middle- size one which is ontop a transparent one. My Mom thinks I’m being unreasonable for having a fit everytime I have to deal with moving Dad’s crap from away from my pop shelf. It’s just I don’t care where he’s puts his stuff as long as it doesn’t interfere with MY pop shelf. (Heck maybe he could clear out some of the cupboards of the old work bench and the workbench itself and put the cereal THERE maybe?)

Even if your dad is being inconsiderate with his use of shared spaces…to save yourself some sanity, could you stash the drinks in your own room? It sounds like they’re on an ordinary, nonrefrigerated shelf, so they would keep just as well somewhere that only you have access to.

there’s no room in my bedroom for the pop since I have a rotating schedule of pop and one of us (either Mom or myself) restock the shelf when it’s needs to be… the drinks don’t need to be fridge until Fridays since like I said, I only have drink once a week. There’s way too much stuff in my room already, a ton of books, my bed, and my dresser, an end table, and 2 shelves (one big and has books on it and another smaller shelf which also has books on it). and a table which has my fan on it.

It’s just I’m literally am fed up with Dad putting his stuff (mostly cereal) in front of my pop shelf. Or at the very least before he gets a “big” box of cereal could he finish up the cereal he ALREADY has on top of the storage boxes before getting more? Like he already had like 6 boxes of cereals without the “big” cereal boxes which is the most recent victim of me “throwing” it onto the other side of the room. Like I said he could clean up the workbench (both the cupboard AND the bench) and put his cereal there instead of in front of my pop shelf.

What did your dad say when you talked to him about it? Is he just forgetful?

There’s no point in me talking to him since he will just forget about it

I think you’re blowing this out of proportion. It may be your shelf, but it’s in a shared pantry / basement, where it’s normal to move things around. If it annoys you to the point of “throwing a fit”, is it possible to reorganize the shelf so that there’s no extra space on the front for him to put the cereal boxes?

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Nope. there isn’t any other room down there for Dad’s cerealstuff.
We sometimes have rat/mice problems in the basement so years ago he put a lot of her food down there into storage containers (I think there’s are 3 storages containers ontop of each other) And it’s ontop of the 3rd which Dad has 6 boxes of cereal and he brought two new “big boxes” and the way he put the 2nd big box of cereal (instead of placing it with the “barcode” facing me he put the barcode facing my left if I’m standing infront of my pop shelf) which means I can’t get my pop without throwing the package (or last week’s case, old ice chest) onto to the other side of the basement area since I CAN’T ACCESS MY POP AND THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR MORE THEN A YEAR. Once I had to throw one of the old green baskets onto the other side of the room because IT was blocking my pop shelf.

and imagine the storage containers are full of food infront of shelves of stuff -I know the shelf underneath my pop, has a bunch of spices.


Storage container
six of these cereals ontop of the 3rd storare containers:
Cheeiros cereal
and two of these but the one on the LEFT the barcode is facing me. The one on the Right which I tossed to the other side it’s barcode was facing left, blocking my ability to get to the shelf which was ALREADY limited by the storage containers
and a green box I mentioned earlier

It sounds like you are frustrated by a lot of other things and maybe directing that frustration on something you could normally brush off.

This seems like a common “roommate/living with people” issue where you can’t get someone to do things the way you want them to. So your options are to decide not to stress about it, find a compromise (like making room for the pop in your room, rearranging the shelf, etc), or move out and arrange everything exactly how you like it.

OK, in this one, you’re unreasonable, since you ask me that. On the other hand, your dad seems to be some kind of cereal maniac. Your mom must have a lot of patience, or is she crazy too… Does your family buy cereal wholesale? Do you run a cereal restaurant? How do you manage for milk?

So apparently anyway you’re extremely particular about your pop shelf. But… first, you only need access to it on Friday, right? Or other days, do you want to go and just look at it? Anyway, I have constructive suggestions; one is to look up the words “claw arm”, for a device to reach your pop -when you can’t; another is to have a “pop box” which will also protect your pop from those rodents.

Or, maybe you could create space in the ceiling area, like hanging under a beam, that is not obstructed like your shelf is. However, any beam is probably there to support the rest of the house, so do not do harm to the beam, or all of you may suddenly be in the basement when you didn’t intend to go there.

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The family packs are brought whole sale. But he only has two. But milk depends if it’s winter time or summer time. We only go through in the winter time (we buy 3 milk bags in one) 1 milk bag per week. But in the summer we use 1 of the three milk bags per day.

summer time: Dad’s cereal, the smoothies Mom and I have, and my supertime Choclate milk. So we use more milk in the summer then in winter time. But it’s not just CEREAL which blocks my pop shelf- one it was the Green basket and last week it was an old ice chest. It’s just I want to be able to access my pop without needing to be “Elasticgirl” or needing SOMEONE’S ELSE’s HELP! I want to be a “grown-up” and I can’t with Dad’s crap blocking my way every week. It’s has gotten way too out of hand of Dad’s crap. My pop is save from the rodents because it’s on the top shelf (not counting the very top of the shelf which has Kleenex boxes onto of it), IT just I want Dad to stop putting his crap infront of my shelf making it impossible for me to get my pop. Or at least put his boxes in a way which I can stil reach them on my own. There’s already too many cereal boxes down there. You would think my message of “throwing his stuff onto the other side of room” would tell him a message. But he stil hasn’t gotten it in over a year.

Like I said maybe we should clean up and around the big white work bench which has cupboards down there and put his cereal THERE so my pop shelf isn’t blocked? Don’t know where we would put the wood through since according to town laws we can’t have them outside on the porch. Thanks to a neighbourhood “Karen”. And we have fires in the winter time. There’s several sets of shelves. But I don’t know what’s on all of them. Like some of the shelves when you go immidedatly facing my pop shelf- it will have pickles, my chocolate scause, cans of sandwhiches fillings, cheese whiz cans, soup cans, and at the top there’s boxes of pasta, including, a box of Korean Ramen, (Ramyeon). Since it’s an L-shaped shelf the one almost oppsite to my pop shelf, the other shelf has: mustard, accents cans, salad dressings, and sometimes salsa (one time, my finger almost ended up in a mouse trap on one of these set of shelves because no one informed me there WAS a mouse trap on the shelf) Then after the doorway to the laundry area (which also has a fridge and the new freezer) the shelves next to my pop shelf on the 3rd level is Dad’s lemon juices, and on the next shelf is Mom’s cake boxes. Then the next shelf over which is underneath my pop shelf, there’s are the spices, and then my pop shelf. theen a bit of a aisle to get into the “bear cave” to access the exercise bike, and the old freezer (which has Ice Cream tubs and some other stuff in it).- on the other side is my boxes of pop. And then more storage of a bunch of stuff infront of his work bench. Just be the basement is only one of the places driving me crazy of getting in my way.

Like upstairs isn’t much better we had rodents somehow get up there ones so we have a couple of storage containers up stairs… but the one storage container is infront of our two pots we use for “pasta night”. Putting the Pasta bowl back the next day is FUN (not!) when Dad has his five million jackets onto of the storage container in the kitchen which is right infront of where I need to put the pasta pot. And that’s not counting the Chinese take-out containers which are on the other side of the area where the pot goes.

Note: Dad doesn’t mind me moving his stuff from in front of my pop. I asked him using the “I” message

So why don’t you just move his stuff so yours is in front?

Your frustration at this scenario seems to be at like 7/10 and for me this would register at like 3/10.

I can really relate to this, as I have had similar problems. Some thoughts.

  1. The cereal must go into a bin. It WILL attract rats and mice. It is only a matter of time.

  2. WHEN the critters come, they will wreck your pop by pooping and urinating on the containers. You think they can’t get up there? You’d be surprised where they can go.

  3. Not only does your dad have too much cereal, you probably have too much pop.

I have been in a similar situation with stocking up on stuff and taking advantage of great deals. I ended up with a huge disaster and stuff got wasted because I Could. Not. Find. It.

What worked was to get an idea of the maximum and minimum amount to keep on hand of each item. Tuna, for example. My husband likes the expensive kind, so when it goes on sale, I will buy three cans at a time, or even six. However, I never ever will have more than 18 cans of tuna on the basement shelf. Even if they are giving away the stuff, I wouldn’t take it if I was already “full up”. When I am down to just 3 cans of tuna, it’s time to buy more, even if I have to suck it up and pay full price.

Is your pop in cans? Pop stored in cans for too long will randomly explode, make a huge mess, and attract bugs and critters. This is what the best before date on the cans is about. So don’t have more than you can use in 3 months. (I think that’s how long it’s safe for. And no, I’m not making this up. I have experienced it, and the phenomenon is described in detail in this book: Rust: The Longest War (Audible Audio Edition): Jonathan Waldman, Christopher Lane, Brilliance Audio: Amazon.ca: Books ).If it’s bottles, look at your supply and ask yourself how long it would last, at one bottle per week. If it’s 2 years, you probably have too much.

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I have had pop in cans since I was in Gr.8 (?) and they haven’t exploded once. No maybe not Gr.8 I can’t remember what I drank back then but it was pop. And I have four cans of each drink (compliments Pespi-like drink, a lemonade drink, complient’s orange drink, and compliment’s gingerale) and in the more then 15 years they never exploded once in the time on the shelf. I only drink one pop can a week (unless there’s something else going on like a party or I had my wisdom teeth removed since a couple of days after me removing my 2nd set of wisdom tetth the other summer my mouth still hurt but I was able to have a slushee with the slushee cup my sister gave me the year before or I’m sneaking pop at bowling or getting food from resturants in-town). So this week the pop of choice will be gingerale. Next week it’s Pespi-like drink, the week after lemonade one, and back to orange drink. They never exploded once in the 15 years in the basement but I get through them pretty quickly despite only drinking them once a week. Neither the cans on the shelf now the cans still in the box have never exploded down there. I recently restocked the lemoande and orange from new boxes. And I see we might need to get a new box of pespi-like cola soon because there isn’t a lot left in the box. But we put 4 cans of each onto the shelf and once it gets low we restock from the box. Until the box is empty.

@RR8 MY stuff is on a SHELF Dad’s stuff is NOT on a SHELF but ontop of STORAGE CONTAINERS in FRONT of my “Pop SHELF

So that’s 16 cans of pop, max, which is 4 months worth. I couldn’t recall the exact time, but I think I was wrong about 3 months. I know for sure that a year is definitely too long. So no, it doesn’t sound like you have too much pop if you never have more than 16 cans.

Your dad definitely has too much cereal, because he has more than can be stored in bins safe from critters. I have had two serious mouse problems in 30 years. Once, they were attracted to cereal in my basement. The other time, it was bird seed in the garage. Instead of complaining about how the cereal gets in the way, maybe start pointing out the risk of improperly stored cereal.

Cake mix (that’s what you meant by “cake boxes”?) should be in bins too, just as bad as cereal or even worse.

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I might go through the ones on the shelf in under 2 months. But remember there’s more in pop boxes nearby. So there’s still whatever’s in the box. I don’t know how many come in a box.

Well, let’s stay focussed on the problem of the cereal boxes in front of the cans that you are currently using.

the only “problem” of the cereal in front of my pop shelf is that Dad kept blocking the shelf with either jumbo cereal boxes, or with an old ice chest (we got a new one recently) or with one of the green Superstore baskets with handles (which now Dad has filled both of the green basket with his crap… and I think Mom would like to be able to USE at least one of them for when she needs to bring up leftover Chinese food for leftover Chinese food night).

But after I sort of talked to Dad yesterday trying to use the “I” message. He said he didn’t mind me moving his cereal boxes (the only problem is there no place to PUT his cereal- boxes due to all the shelves being full the best I can do is throw it on some crap much closer to the floor then where my pop cans are). Everywhere in the basement shelves are full heck even are two freezers are full of stuff as well. Even the storage containers are full.

From my own experience, I think there is stuff there that they don’t know about. I don’t know about your family, or how much you want to solve this problem, or what you enjoy doing, or how much time you have, BUT one way to tackle this is to look at the overall problem: too much stuff.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is NOT to convince them to get rid of stuff. That never works, at least not for me. Instead, you want to make it easier for them to find the stuff they already have.

Start with one of the tubs of stuff, and make a list of what is in it: soup, pasta sauce, tuna. Write it with a marker on a piece of paper or cardboard, tape it to the outside of the box. (If you can use a label maker, that is even better.)

Check the expiry date on packages. How does your family deal with “expired” goods? If you don’t know, ask. If the policy is “throw it out”, do so, but not without telling people that you are doing it and why. Show them the packages and the dates.

(Most canned stuff is safe to eat long after it has expired, but the fact that you have had it for so long that it has expired may indicate a problem. Does your family not actually like that food any more? Have they lost track of it because it is in a bin, out of sight?)

You do not have to do this all at once–if you are even interested in doing it. In fact, it is better to take it slowly and talk about what you are doing.

The goal is

  1. to solve a problem everyone is having (too much stuff, can’t find things) and thus
  2. shine a light on the “too much cereal” problem, which is a small part of the “too much stuff” problem.
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Note trying to be rude but:

I can FIND my pop. That’s not my problem. The problem is when Dad puts either a)Jumbo cereal boxes b)old ice chest or c)a green basket in front of my pop shelf I can’t ACCESS the shelf without being “ElasticGirl” or needing to ask for help from someone else. If I move his crap, I then can ACCESS the shelf on my own. I HATE asking for me unless I really need it. I can just move Dad’s stuff so I can access my pop.

I know one of the storage containers in the basement stacked up has bags of croutons and maybe the other one has bacon bits bags in it. But that’s about all I know is in one of the containers. I have no clue what else in there containers. Since it’s not my job. The pasta boxes are on top of the one half of set of “L-shaped” shelves-some in other transperent storage containers, and some not. at the corner of it is the box of raymeon. The shelf underneath it is full of sandwhich filling cans, and the next 2 shelves have a mixed of soups and beans (both baked beans and kidney beans) and at the back there’s also is some pineaple or corn cans. And when we get to the bottom half of the “L” there’s the pizza scause cans, concut milk cans, under neath that shelf we have salad dressing and mustard. And underneath that we have Accent cans (back in the spring my finger almost got caught in a mouse trap because neither of the parents told me there WAS one on that particular shelf). Then when we go to the “straight shelves” the bottom shelf has the “Turkey pot”, and then above it is Dad’s lemon juices, and above it is Mom’s cake mix boxes. Then we move other to the area around my pop shelf,-bottom shelf has more pots and pans that we never use, and the 2nd and 3 shelves above are of mom’s spices, and then onto of Mom’s spices is my shelf of pop (and a coffee pot still in a box which takes up a bit of space) and on top of that shelf is pile of Kleenex boxes waiting to be used.

I know you can find your stuff. I agree that it’s not your job to organize the other stuff. You don’t buy it, you (probably) don’t put it away. They can probably find most of their stuff, most of the time.

If you want to, and if you are able to, you can contribute to your family and also solve your own problem. You can do this by helping them to organize their stuff in the way that I described, one bin at a time.

If you don’t want to do that, just start to tell them–repeatedly–that you worry about mice getting into the cereal and the cake mix and anything else that is just in a cardboard box. Remind them of how much of a hassle it was dealing with mice/rats/bugs the last time, and the time before that. That message, repeated every time you find a cereal box in your way, might work.

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