When “Never Coming Back!” Comes Back To Haunt Them, Part 2
Our state no longer has a mask mandate, and customers are returning in droves. Since it’s taking us a while to rehire after “The Great Resignation”, our customers are waiting in line for a bit longer than they might have been used to before the lockdowns. An angry customer gets to the front of the line.
Customer: “I have been timing you, and I have been in line for six minutes! Six minutes!“
Me: “Yes, we have been working very hard to keep up with the pent-up customer demand for coffee since fully reopening. We ask our customers to be patient during this time.”
Customer: “What… That’s it?!”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “I’m not getting my coffee for free for being made to wait?!”
Not much of a customer if they’re getting coffee for free, but whatever…
Me: “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”
Customer: “Well, you just lost a customer!”
Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you so much! We have way too many customers lately, and we’ve been barely able to keep up! I really appreciate your sacrifice. Thank you!”
Customer: “No, wait, I—”
Me: *To my manager* “[Manager], this amazing customer has said she’s not coming back! She’s taking one for the team!”
Manager: “Really? That’s so kind of you, ma’am. We need all the help we can get since we have so many customers now; we do need to start shedding a few.”
Customer: “No, you’re not getting it! I’m not happy! I’m—”
Manager: “I understand, ma’am. We’re not happy, either. We’ve had months after months of unprecedented customer increases since reopening, and to be honest, losing your custom isn’t really going to make a dent against such staggering growth, but every little helps, so—”
Customer: “Stop it! I am not coming back because you’re not treating me like a loyal customer! I am not doing it as a favor to you!”
Manager: “You had to wait in line for a few minutes longer than usual, and you’ve decided that warrants never coming back? I don’t think that’s a very good definition of ‘loyal’, but either way, we appreciate you choosing a competitor from now on. Thank you, and bye-bye!”
Customer: *Screeching* “You’re all a**holes!” *Storms out*
Manager: “No, we’re all overworked a**holes. Okay, that sounded wrong…”