My partner and I go to a local discount store to pick up some stuff for the house. I use a wheelchair, and thus, I have a disabled parking placard. We pull into the parking lot and realize that a HUGE [Soda Company] semi truck is taking up every single accessible spot. My partner and I look at each other.

Me: “What the f***?!”

We park in a regular spot, and my partner goes in alone to talk to the manager.

Partner: “Hey, your [Soda Company] guy is taking up all the disabled spots. My boyfriend and I need one of those spots.”

Manager: “He’s almost done. Can’t you just use a normal spot?”

Partner: *Pauses* “He has a placard for a reason. And parking in one of those spots without one is illegal, much less all five.”

Manager: “Well, I’ll ask him to hurry.”

Partner: “You know what? I think we’ll try somewhere else.”

He came back out and relayed the conversation that happened inside. We took some pictures of the truck, the license plate, and good angles of it blocking literally every last accessible parking spot. We ended up reporting them to the company — and the manager, who didn’t seem to understand why we were complaining. Last I heard, the driver got reprimanded.

CONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor

I have a five-foot-zero coworker. She is obviously pregnant, but this seems to make customers think they can just waltz up to her and place their hands on her belly.

She’s scolded the customers about this, who have in turn complained to managers, who have in turn told her to just deal with it. 

Coworker: “Fine… I will deal with it.”

One shift, I notice this exchange. A customer once again touches [Coworker]’s belly. 

Customer: “Oh, congratulations!”

Coworker: *Backing away* “Please don’t touch me.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m a mother, so it’s okay. How far along are you?”

Coworker: *Holding her belly* “This is a tumor.” 

Customer: *Horrified* “Oh… I… Oh…”

Coworker: “Are you asking how long I have left? About six months.”

Customer: *Possibly traumatized, tearing up, backing away* “I… I’m so sorry, I…”

The customer rushes out of the store.

Me: *Trying not to laugh* “I think you just traumatized that woman.”

Coworker: “Maybe next time she’ll think twice before walking up to a total stranger and placing her uninvited hands on their bodily protrusions!” 

[Coworker] gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. When she brought him into the store for us to coo over, she said to me, “Here’s my little tumor!”

I work in a real estate office. While it is not specifically my job, I am frequently the one answering the door when a buyer comes in to drop off a check, simply because my desk is closest to the door and we don’t have a dedicated receptionist.

One morning, we have just opened, and I am the only one in the office. I hear the doorbell ring, so I go to open the door and see two people standing there.

Me: “Good morning!”

They both walk right past me into the entryway without acknowledging I am there. The woman in front then stops and looks around, realizing there is no one else here to help her, and finally turns and looks at me.

Buyer: “I need to drop off a deposit for [Agent]’s listing at [address].”

Me: “Sure! I can take that from you.”

She glares at me as though I’m stupid.

Buyer: “Well, I need to fill it out first. Is there a pen somewhere?”

This is unusual because buyers already know how much their deposit is going to be, so they typically come in with a check already filled out, hand it off, and are on their way in a matter of seconds. Because of this, we don’t have any pens right in the entryway, so I run to grab one off my desk and hand it to her.

Me: “Here you go!”

Buyer: “No, you’re supposed to say, ‘Hello, good morning!'”

Her companion, who has been silent this whole time, chuckles at this. I am shocked by the comment, so I say nothing and go back to my work as they go to a table nearby to fill out the check, talking quietly to themselves. While they do this, my coworker comes in for the day and walks past them to get to her office.

Coworker: “Good morning!”

They both glare at her silently. The buyer then turns to me.

Buyer: “Is this [Agent]’s office?”

Me: “This is the main office for the company she works for, yes.”

She stares at me for several seconds as though this is the wrong answer or she is waiting for me to elaborate somehow, before returning to her check. Finally, she hands it over to me.

Buyer: “Do I get a receipt for this or something?”

Me: “We don’t really have a system for giving out receipts, but I can make a copy of the check for you.”

Buyer: “Woooooow, what a great idea!”

I ignore her strong sarcasm and go copy the check. Then, I come back and hand the copy to her. She watches me the entire time, looking as though I have offended her somehow.

Me: “Here you go. Have a great day!”

Buyer: *Still looking offended* “Is something wrong?”

Me: *Genuinely confused* “I’m sorry?”

Buyer: *Already turned away from me* “Are you?”

She walked out the door with her companion in tow without another word. I looked at the check and realized it was made out from a local business. I looked it up and found out that the two of them co-owned it. I made a note never to do business there.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 29
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 28
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 27
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 26
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 25

I worked in a vitamin store while I was in college. This was a pretty boring store for kids; they never came in without their parents.

Kids wandering a mall only really go to fun stores at that age, right? But two girls came into our vitamin store, no adult with them. They were the age where kids are just old enough to be walking around a mall without their parents — maybe eleven or twelve at the absolute oldest.

Girl: “Excuse me, where are the chewable vitamins? It’s usually [Brand].”

I was surprised she knew the name of it. My colleague handed her the bottle, and the girls said thank you. The first girl showed the vitamins to her friend. They handed the bottle back to my colleague, said thank you again, and left.

They came back probably fifteen minutes later with their moms, went right to the spot, and showed it to one of the moms. They then picked out the same brand bottle but for older people. Then, I saw that they had come in with an older lady who was walking very slowly, probably a grandma or even a great-grandma. The girls had run ahead to minimize the time it took for her to be standing or walking around the store looking for vitamins.

I told the other mom how the girls were the politest kids we had ever met, and her eyes got kind of big, but she looked pleased and said thank you. The mom bought the vitamins. The girls said thank you to us (my coworker and me), and that was it.

A simple and not a crazy story, but when you work in retail, having customers so well-behaved is actually kinda crazy.

I have just dealt with a customer who caused a scene and called us all communists for not honoring his out-of-date coupon. Wouldn’t that make us capitalist? But anyway… After he has been loudly escorted out by security, one of our regulars who likes to crack jokes starts speaking to my coworker who is serving him.

Regular: “I once dated a girl who was a communist. Didn’t work out. I should’ve seen the red flags.”

Coworker: *Without skipping a beat* “A communism joke isn’t funny unless everyone gets it.”

That almost made it worth dealing with the bad customer… Almost.