I’m shopping at a local grocery store. The shortest line leads to a register with a prominent sign at the start of the line: “This register does not accept cash at this time.” I’m planning to pay by card, so I get in this line.

Lo and behold, the customer in front of me tries to pay with cash.

Cashier: “I can’t accept cash at this register.”

Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you? Why wouldn’t you—”

Cashier: “Can you read English?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Cashier: *Slower* “Can you read English?”

Customer: “Of course I can! The f*** does that—”

Cashier: *Suddenly loud and aggressive* “THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”

I watch in shock as [Cashier] steps away from the till and toward the back of the line, grabbing the sign.

Cashier: “Read this!”

Customer: “Why the—”

Cashier: “READ THIS SIGN! Out loud, right now!”

Customer: “…’This register does not accept cash at this time.'”

Cashier: “Do you know what that means?!”

Customer: “I—”

Cashier: “DO YOU KNOW what that means?!”

Customer: “It… means you can’t pay with cash here.”

Cashier: “Did you read this sign before you got in line?!”

Customer: “…No.

Cashier: “WHY DID YOU NOT READ THE SIGN? If you can read English, you have no reason not to read this sign! Why would you get in line at a till and not read the sign at the start of the line?!”

The customer says nothing more, only picking up their purchases and moving to another line. The cashier puts the sign back and storms back to the till.

Cashier: “This is why I’m leaving this job today!”

I had a contracting gig with a large financial services company. My little group was part of a much bigger department that generated the annual tax forms. They were incredibly busy from January 2 through April. The guy who ran the department issued an edict that everyone had to put in ten hours each day and work Saturdays if necessary.

Office Manager: “Why do you and your team leave every day at 5:00 pm?”

Me: “Our group has nothing to do with the tax statements. We’re all done by 5:00.”

Office Manager: “The rest of the office is complaining when you’re all seen leaving at 5:00 pm. It would be better if you stayed late, as well.”

Me: “Are you asking or telling?”

Office Manager: “Telling.”

Me: “Does that apply to me and the other contractors?”

Office Manager: “Everyone. No exceptions.”

We were happy to do so since we were being paid by the hour. When we submitted our invoice for January, [Officer Manager] almost wet his pants and decided that the overtime rule didn’t apply to us.

Our town has a cat man. He lives in a trailer and smokes a lot of weed. The cats who can’t take care of their kittens or want some help bring them to him. He feeds them, cares for them, socializes them, and then adopts them out. He is always surrounded by cats and kittens. If you want a kitten, you go to his trailer and ask to adopt one. He doesn’t charge anything; he just talks to you for a bit to make sure you’ll love the animal and take care of it.

He’s surrounded by books and video cassettes and always wears a big housecoat. He’s full of stories and will talk to you about cats, politics, music, movies, games, weed, or whatever it is. The trailer is cold and unlocked with a hole in the front door for the cats to come in and out. He always has them, though. They know to go to him.

I came to him today for a kitten because my foster kid is having a rough time. We are “borrowing” a kitten until he feels better, but I suspect the kitten will stay. We’ve named them Pizza Crust. Gender is unknown. Knowing the gender isn’t the cat man’s job. He is happy to “lend” Pizza Crust to us for as long as we need them. I mean, of course, he was happy to lend a kitten to help a child.

So, yeah, that’s our cat man. He’s the goat.

I’m working as a controller for a taxi company but am remote working from home.

Me: “Good morning! [Taxi Firm], how may I help?”

Customer: “I need a taxi; I am a regular.”

Me: “Sorry, we’re fully booked at the moment, but I can provide you one in the next forty minutes.”

Customer: “No, I need it in five minutes.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have any cabs available. I can’t send you one.”

Customer: “You’re lying! You have cabs available! You’re just being very unprofessional, and I will complain to the office about you not knowing how to do the work!”

They start shouting, and I continue being apologetic until my coworker takes the phone from me.

Coworker: “Nothing available! What do you want, a screenshot of our screen saying that we have nothing available?!”

Customer: *Continues shouting*

Coworker: “From now on, we won’t provide you with our services. Thank you for calling. Bye!” *Click*

I used to work at a gas station. One day, our sign malfunctioned and displayed a lower price than was actually charged by the pumps. It was something like four cents a gallon difference. We couldn’t fix it, and we couldn’t make the pumps charge a different price, so we were just giving anyone who complained a refund in cash. (My manager said he’d sort the shortage with corporate later.)

I had some version of this conversation about a dozen times that night.

Customer: *Raging* “YOUR PUMP OVERCHARGED ME!”

Me: “Yes, they’re malfunctioning, but I’d be happy to refund the difference to you. Which pump are you on?”

Customer: *Raging more* “THIS IS FALSE ADVERTISING! BAIT AND SWITCH! I ONLY STOPPED HERE BECAUSE THE GAS WAS CHEAPER!”

Me: “Uh-huh. Which pump was that? Give me a second to figure out your refund…”

And then I’d give them their refund, which was inevitably an amount less than $2, and loudly count it out for them.

They’d slink off, and as a bonus win, everyone else in line who had the same complaint would be chill.