We are very busy as our state has recently ended a lockdown and mask mandate so everyone is shopping again and using their pent-up retail energy. However, my store, like a lot of companies, downsized significantly during the lockdowns, and we’re struggling to hire people back to keep up with the demand.

Customer: “This is crazy! You have all these customers and only four lanes open! Explain yourself!”

Me: “We’re currently trying to hire, but it’s slow-going getting staff back after all that’s happened.” 

Customer: “Such a lazy generation! No one wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Would you like an application? I have some physical copies here if you don’t like applying online.”

Customer: “What?! Why the f*** would I want to work here?!”

Me: “Well, you just said we need more people.”

Customer: “I’m fifty-eight years old! Why would I want to work as a f****** checkout clerk?!”

Me: “It’s sad… People your age don’t want to work anymore…” *Huge customer service smile*

Customer: *Glaring* “That’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

Customer: “I’m so happy you had this sauce! I was looking everywhere for it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m usually pretty good at knowing what we have in stock, but I’ve never seen this one. What’s it for?” 

Customer: “It’s used for Puerto Rican food. It’s a very special and unique flavor that you can’t really get from anything else. I love that your store sells it.”

Me: “I’m really happy we had it for you! I’ve never had Puerto Rican food, but I’ll look up this sauce later and see what it goes well with.” 

They check out, and I continue with my shift as normal. About three hours later, I see the customer back at my checkout lane.

Customer: “Oh, good! You’re still here! I was worried your shift might have ended!”

Me: “Is everything okay?”

They hand over some Tupperware containing what looks like many different types of food.

Customer: “I was telling my mom about the cashier who’d never had Puerto Rican food, and I swear you could’ve heard her gasp from here. She cooked up a little bit of everything and made me run back over here for you to try some.”

Me: “Oh, my! That’s so nice of you! And her! Thank you so much!”

Customer: “I’ll be back next week for your opinion!” 

Me: “And the Tupperware!” 

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. Mom never expects to get those back.”

Not only was the food delicious, but I tried it with the sauce from my store, and it really enhanced it! I still returned the Tupperware the next week (I had it on me for every shift just in case), and it’s a good thing I did because even more food came my way from that crazy Puerto Rican mother the following week.

I became an expert on Puerto Rican food just from sitting at my checkout lane!

On my way to work after getting off the streetcar in the morning, I meet a coworker.

Coworker: “You’ve seen the unionists at the streetcar stations?”

Me: “Yes.”

Coworker: “They’re boring with their petitions! It’s bad enough that I have to leave early now that we have fewer streetcars.”

Me: “You know what the petition is about?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “The petition is against the lack of streetcars in the city, especially in our area.”

As we were really early for our workplace due to the lack of streetcars — it was either that or be late — he finally went back to sign the petition. Unionists aren’t such a pain when you agree with their petitions! But maybe you should listen to them first!

I recently dropped my longtime ISP for multiple reasons. The most recent was a large price hike they tried to mask behind a deal that if you had automatic withdrawals with a debit card, you would save $5 a month, but if you had automatic withdrawals linked to your checking account you would save $10 a month on your monthly bill.

I thought I was going to save some money on my bill, but I came to find out that my bill actually went up $18, and they deducted $10 for having auto-pay linked to my checking account. In the end, I was still paying an extra $8 a month, plus the extra $12 in price increases over the past two years. To top it all off, this ISP still had a data cap of 1.2TB that any family of four-plus people could easily exceed.

This ISP company is large, all over the United States. They not only offer Internet but cable service, cell phone service, and even landline service. Their job is connectivity with devices on a massive scale.

Now that I’m done with that ISP, I have to return their X-Box. (It’s not an actual Xbox gaming system; it’s just what the company called it because of its name.) I never used nor even asked for it; I don’t even know what the stupid thing was for. It got shoved into a closet and forgotten there for the last few years. I have to ship it back to them on my dime, or I can drop it at a local store of theirs. I opt to drop it at a local store. If I don’t return it within thirty days, I have to pay them money for it.

A couple of days after I cancel my old ISP service, I have time to head to one of their local stores to return the X-Box. I arrive at the store, and a nice handwritten sign is taped to the entrance of the store as I enter. I don’t remember the exact wording on the sign, but it pretty much says that the store’s Internet is down and they cannot provide any services that require access to the network or systems.

I enter the store and am greeted by an employee there. He tells me that their network is down and he can’t assist me with anything that requires network access.

Me: “I’m just here to return this X-Box since I canceled my account with you guys the other day.”

Employee: “Oh. Okay. Once our system is back up, I’ll scan it in that you’ve returned it.”

Me: “Okay, thanks. You know, it’s kind of ironic that a company like this that is driven on connectivity has network issues right now, isn’t it?”

Employee: “Uh.” *Staring blankly at me* “What do you mean?”

Me: “Never mind. Have a good day.”

A company with a net worth of over $150 billion, and its store locations are having network outages. I guess the employee just didn’t understand the irony of it all.

I used to work in property rentals, and I recall a rather heated discussion with the parent of a student.

Keeping things brief, I submitted a relatively modest claim (on the owner’s behalf) against the deposit for cleaning. They hadn’t trashed the place, but it was abundantly clear (with photographic evidence before/after I might add) that the three student occupants had done NO cleaning at pretty much any point during their ten-month tenancy.

The dust was literally THICK on surfaces. Again, not wrecked, but neither ‘as they found it’ nor good enough for the next tenants.

Anyway, back to the parent; I explain to her:

Me: “I’ve submitted a claim against the deposit.”

Parent: “The place was not left in such a condition!”

After giving her the photographic evidence, she moves the goal posts:

Parent: “We cleaned the property, but the dirt came back!”

Me: “The amount of dust and dirt in some places was literally palpable, and, as above, this would take a minimum of two-to-three months to even START to accrue. No cleaning had even been attempted and the claim will be submitted against the deposit.”

This is a claim which, incidentally, was entirely free for independent arbitration as per UK deposit laws.

The parent then proceeds to start ranting and raving at me of all the injustices her daughter had faced living in such a ‘squalid’ property. This continues for around three minutes with me, admittedly not entirely well-mannered, listening on the other end of the phone.

Eventually, I try to interject, and she interrupts me at EVERY given opportunity. In the end I say:

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but this is no longer a conversation, it’s a monologue. I’ve stated our position and will email you with details on how to appeal this should you wish. The process is free and if you feel so adamant that your position is correct, they will award you the money. Good day.”

She calls back, again, going nuts, and I simply repeat this and hang up.

Four weeks later, no appeal was lodged, and the amount was I won the claim by default. I knew they simply did this as it was the only bit of spite they had left (making it take as long as possible due to legal requirements).

Still, I was happy having defeated a person who thought they could simply shout over any problem.